There are a lot of cows walking around on it.

Well, I know it sounded like a klingon sewer, but it is right on my way to work and I've started real estate stalking it. I have this problem. I fall in love with properties that we can't have. This one is so lovely, and so intriguing and So Not Gary, that I had to start stalking it. Why do I think it's a good idea to pay $875,000 for a mobile home?

I think it's a little bit of a fire sale. It belongs to a dairy farmer who sounds very cool and organic groovy and makes raw milk with his certified Jersey organic cows. They are all over the property. In what would of course be the stunning arena. He has been battling with the Santa Cruz County Planning Dept. for 11 years to move his cows from his leased land at Monterey Bay Academy in La Selva to his 12 acres in Watsonville. And even though it looked like he got it from what I found last spring, apparently not. And he has to move his cows by June 30. Tomorow. Hence the great price. And great property.

The mobile home seems very a-ok to me, it's in a shady tree grove.
(I just said, the mobile home seems a-ok to me. I am a sad, sad person.)

And so much room to put horses and dogs.
(And so much room to mow, dig ditches in and fight gophers on.)

One edge borders the mobile homes.
(Hey, a quarter of my property has a giant mobile home park built right up to it!)

It is fully crossed fence, and so flat.
(Just like in Nebraska where this same property would cost $25,000.)

The cows are all in what is already an arena!
(How do you de-cow a parcel?)

With apple trees inside it. So cool.
(So much work after you have gone horribly into debt to buy it and cannot afford to do the work!)

So not Gary. Outside his scope of commute and scope of where he wants to live. It is too real farm. I see it as the dog and horse fiesta extravaganza of space! Although it may have permit blight already, would still need a building permit for the barn, but it is legal for 22 horses. Who knows. Maybe he was too much of a hippie for the planning department. I am very, very frightened of ever doing business with them. There would always be the use permit question on this one, and it looks like it has been heavily examined for the dairy permits already, with poor results. You spend all your money fighting them then where do you put your cows? This happens with horses too sometimes, hence my land use paranoia.

Speedy kleenex furry ball.

Yesterday, on the way out to running the dogs before work, I stopped off at at a property on Kliewer Lane. It's a paved country road off of Green Valley, right by my barn and at Dee's agility field. It is 12 acres with a "mobile home that needs some work". The property is awesome-all wood, crossed fence farmland with a huge arena now filled with cattle, grape orchard, olive tree orchard, fruit tree orchard and a pond. And actually, 2 mobile homes. One is like a home. One is like maybe filled with cats? And a burned up shed. I would live there in a second though. There's a big eucalyptus grove, and across the street is a giant strawberry farm for pesticide enjoyment. Although the methyl bromide is a gas and supposedly it always stays under the tarps. It could be a yarnpire except only legally 2 houses-1 new house, 1 1200sf unit and could probably get away with one of the mobile homes. So who gets the big house, the small house and who gets the mobile home? Also it is well outside of Gary's commuter zone. But so close to my barn!

I have weird street names issues, I still am not sure if we were actually really supposed to live here because of ths steet name. Walk. Not bad, but not good. Kliewer though. Like sewer but for klingons? Kind of like saying cleaver but you cannot speak because your mouth is gagged? It isn't a good name. So bad things could happen there. With all due respect. If that happens to be your name.

The field I run the dogs at is just a crow's fly stone's throw behind the eucalyptus grove from the 12 acres. It was hot even in the morning, but the dogs were good. I continued my science experiment of what makes OtterPop run fast. I had a little furry ball with me and no frisbee. And sure enough. If I played with her and got her all tugging and riled up, then put the ball down and ran with her, she cantered. Nicely. Not super slow but not fast. If I took that little furry ball with me, and carried it while she ran, nothing else different, she flew. Like a demon possessed by the need for speed. I am thinking I teach her a piece of kleenex is a fun toy and I could run with that in my pocket? Seems like cheating though. No treats, toys or training tools allowed in the ring. When is kleenex just a kleenex and when is it a tool?

Ruby doens't care. You show her a treat, tell her that's for after she goes fast, she is fast. Ruby lives for treats. She'll run for anyone that shows her a little piece of cheese. Unless she's sore. She has been pretty good, but at the end of our session, my legs were tired and she started knocking a few bars. Since both of our birthdays are coming up in a month, I chalk it up to we are both becoming sore and decrepit. I have lots of pain killers now though.

Don't blink.

I think I'm getting better at running Hobbes. He belongs to my agility instructor. He is a big, fast border collie that has bundles of Lifetime Achievement Gold Points, always winning the Grand Prix, and is like driving a monster truck that has cruise control and ferrari speed. I've been running him for a few months, trying to learn to be a better handler. Last night I actually completed a few runs without errors, which is saying a lot for me. I usually mange to sneak as many errors as possible into a run. Maybe not always enough to knock a bar or go off course but always enough that I know it was an error, and not how I planned it. There aren't any do-overs in agility, but when I'm running his dog, my instructor lets me repeat the thing I managed to screw up til I get it right. I go by third times a charm usually. That may be why I am not a super champion of agility in dog shows. Because at the dog trial, there are definitely no do-overs. Unless the timer messes up and you have done a perfect clean and fast run. And then they ask you to do a do-over. Which has happened to me on more than one occassion due to my weird force field around me that messes up timers.

My dogs have to share when I run the other dog. I get 2 turns each for 3 dogs. So they get a little ripped off. They sit like a set of gargoyles at agility, in the dirt, tied to a fence, with Otterpop's slouching posture and Ruby's sitting up, and all you see sometimes are their big bat ear outlines. They just don't look like the other agility dogs. They sure enjoy sitting with border collies though. Some border collies obsess on them like they are little glowing hypno mutants for their staring enjoyment. Dogs that don't blink are a little weird. I am pretty sure I do not need a border collie, but they are fun to borrow.

Hygenic tile, hygenic dogs.

I'll get to agility at the end of this. Sometimes we just veer a little slightly off track. But this was the kind of day it was. Featured here backwards, in order of reversal.

We didn't have to go to the emergency vet! I got Otterpop immobilized and poured a swallow of olive oil down her nose. And she started sneezing violently, and out popped a foxtail. This was after rushing home from halfway through a walk because someone stuck her nose into a foxtail, breathed deep, and sneezed convulsively all the way home until I could get to the oil in hopes of not having to go to the emergency vet for anaesthesia and scoping and yanking it out of her tiny nose.

This was while I was on the pain pills.

Just after Contractor Brian leaving me with the $25,000 bid to gut my bathroom. That would be the $622 per square foot bathroom. When he showed up to deliver the bid, I was on the phone with my dentist.

Who had just called to apologize and make sure I was OK and had gotten home.

Because earlier in the afternoon they drilled out a giant hole in my the space that used to have a front tooth to put the bionic rod in. Apparently this never hurts. It hurt like hell a bunch of times and I would mutter, HURT HURT with my cotton stuffed mutter gob until he would stop and give me more shots. More shots. Susie, assistant to the dentist kept telling me to breathe. They didn't mean for it to hurt but it was terrible. I almost passed out at one point. I had to sit in the chair a long time after it was done because I wasn't sure I could walk. Finally I told myself just cowboy up and get over it. That's how I made it home to the pain killers without passing out. Because a real cowboy surely isn't going to let a little mini mouth bone jackhammer ruin his day.

That was just after I finally surrendered to the vintage tile gods and realized I cannot do the stunning bathroom tile of my dreams and we will have plain and hygenic Deadwood style tile in the manner of the first indoor plumbing ever in Deadwood. No fancy glass color here. White and hygenic like a dental office.

And speaking of hygenic. The AKC took a poll on whether or not mixed breeds dogs shall be allowed to compete in the AKC against purely bred dogs. The AKC has determined that they shall be allowed to compete However, so as not to allow the unwashed mixed breeds to contaminate the more purely bred ones, they shall compete in seperate and slighly less equal classes. And not at any National competitions, local ones only. What a bunch of assholes.

Never did get anywhere on that dialog.

This is where the picture was going to go of Gary tearing up our roof yesterday. But it would seem that my camera or it's memory card or both, don't work anymore. If you could see the photo, you would see that we discovered many other types of beams and eaves and mushroom woods underneath our breezeway roof by tearing away the first layer of mushroom plywood. And termites, oh the termites. And some black insects that buzz. And electrical cords!

How I began tearing up the roof, was I have been thinking about it. And I was working on a project with the pony pictures and I was trying to make the dialog sound like David Milch wrote it. So I was using these Deadwood transcripts to use as a style guide so that Mrs. Lemon and her pony Punch would sound like Cy Tolliver except as a lady pony club leader and Captain Jim would sound like Steve the drunk livery guy and that was way too hard, and I got out the crowbar and just started ripping out panels. And then Gary got appalled and luckily, thanks to Joel Warner and his tool buying methods, we have 2 crowbars and then he was ripping panels and there it went.

And then we went to get margaritas. And then someone has to figure out how to get the vet out to the barn for the horse with the sore foot. And actually the roof looks better torn up than it did not torn up!

Not always what you thought they might be.

How could I not like my job?

There were other near ranches before we moved out here. We almost moved to a different ranch last December. There were some weird issues we just couldn't make come out, and we decided it just wasn't right. And didn't move. Which I just found out was a good thing, as one of the owners is off to jail. He is an ex cop who became a horse shoer because he was fired for accepting bribes and helping out the Korean Sex Slave industry of Sunnyvale! They had mysteriously bought that very expensive ranch the year before (likely with the bribery cash!) and to make a long story short, he is off to jail. Very happy we didn't move there.

What is super creepy is that he was a super nice guy that I truly liked and trusted.

Last night, we went to a party for a reunion of what I was led to believe would be genuine hippies from the '70's. They all lived in a house on Portola when they were young and free lovin' and had beards and flowy clothes. Now they are all in their 50's and have jobs like Commercial Roofer, Accountant, Contractor, Fourth Grade Teacher, Sushi Chef. Their kids were all there that were naked in the old photos, and were nice and cool young people in college, but with unfortunate hippie names. The ex-hippie's house we were at was this stunning, 2 story, expensive finish, exquisite taste craftsman style showpiece (it was the house of the contractor ex-hippy). They all came in very nice cars.

One of the ladies had very fancy jeans and heels and perfect makeup and I think, implants. Expensive blonde hair. In her old picture, she had long braids and a vw bug and a patchwork dress and was sitting in a meadow that was their backyard at Portola. She reminded me of a barn mom that might nickel and dime over costs of things.

But they were all super nice. Likely not trafficing in sex slaves. I had been kind of nervous out to go to the party, since I've never been to a party of genuine hippies. They talked about their dogs and favorite type of barbeque. Two of them will be coming over to check out the roof project that sends contractors screaming because they were so nice and not afraid and do roofing and contractoring.

There were a few that still looked like hippies, and didn't come in nice cars. The guy with no teeth and the Grateful Dead shirt and beard didn't make a lot of sense the whole time I talked to him. He also wanted a ride out to Watsonville at 10pm since somehow he had gotten to the party with no car. The sushi chef had a beret and a weird flowery shirt but very expensive shoes. Later Gary told me he was an heir to something. He tried to have a jam session with the Professional Musician, but he couldn't remember any songs and kept messing up.

Opposite of meth people but just as bad.

That house from Sunlit Lane is back on the market! This was the one we thought about buying back in September 2006-I think there are some posts in this blog from then. It had the neighbor mayhem going on because of the horses and the no permits and we basically ran screaming from it. It's back on the market at $150,000 less-only $649,000, which is exactly our price range! Except that we have already run screaming from it once and don't need to do it again. Frantic and determined neighbors that speak of horses with this sort of meth addled look in their eye (except they are the opposite of meth people, they are baby owners, hemp wearers, volvo drivers) and the Flies, the Dirt, the Smells are not good neighbors. And they were everywhere. They surrounded us the second time we went out to that property. Like literally, we drove away in our own Volvo (ok, Gary's) fast.

There are no longer horses on it. It was an adorable spot-not exactly a ranch. Only 2.4 acres, with a 1 bedroom house. Small! But the house, (ok, unpermitted cabin with nice decks) was perfect and the property layout (ok, flattish 2 acres of poorly graded eroding dirt), with exception of proximity of the crystal wearing stockbrokers or whatever they were, made it frightening. You could walk right out to Fall Creek Park and trail ride amongst steep redwoody trails though. Likely full of serial killers. And, from my current barn, would be about an hour and 15 minute commute in good traffic. Let's say hour and a half plus in bad. I think that one was the rebound property from the Perfect Ranch of July 2006 in which the cocksuckers outbid us by the $200,000.

Um. Why don't we just move out of Santa Cruz? Would be hard to do in such a perfect June.

Ran the dogs yesterday morning in Watsonville. The other half of my life. Half beach, half ranch. Love having the agility field right there near the barn. Dogs were actually fantastic- fast and perfect contacts. Speedy weave poles. Only one dropped bar. Did a scientific experiment with Otterpop. Have been not taking her frisbee anywhere, it is a Special thing to Play with at Agility, hence making agility always fast because Frisbee is there? Yep. Super incredibly fast if it is in my pocket. Even trying to sneakily hide it as if it is still in the pocket or leaving it sitting with Ruby for convenient retrieval at the end of a course is not good enough. If I have that stupid, dirty piece of orange cloth, Otterpop is a speed demon. Frisbee anywhere else, she runs faithfully and cleanly around the course but not fast enough to Win. She is like an addict. I can't believe so many brain cells in my head have to think about dog frisbees. With an ugly cartoon squirrel drawn on it. Like, this is something Al Swearengen would never, ever approve of. Ever.

The slow timing is worse than the Fast timing.

Ok. We are back to agility. Last night we had agility in the polymer coated dressage mud. Mud filled frisbees for dogs. Mud coated clothing by the end of the night. I wear work boots to run in instead of sneakers. I had a great time with my dogs, and ran Hobbes, the big fast perfect border collie machine. I am learning how to have non sucking timing with him. He wins everything and is super high in Lifetime Achievement Gold points. So I know, if I drop a bar with him or send him off course, I have clearly made the huge error myself, because he is the closest thing to a robot agility dog there is. We did ok. We could have done better. I did let someone else run Ruby, which was cool to watch. She isn't a robot dog yet, but she sure went around fast and did exactly what the handler I loaned her to asked for. Which most of the time was correct. If you give Ruby a piece of cheese at the end, she'll do most anything.

I had one student complain about my class last night. Happens sometimes. Apparently my teaching style makes her dog not a perfect agility dog. I like to teach short drills to work on specific handling moves. We chain them together at the end of class usually. She is, um, an inexperienced handler, and her dog is nervous about everything. Which is a tough combo. But she is nearly ready to kill me because she thinks it's my teaching that makes her dog that way. Anyways. They are kind of held captive in these classes because there aren't tons of agility trainers around. So I'll work with it. I think where I could be more flexible is realizing not everyone in class is going out there to become a polished and capable competitor. Some people just want to run around with their dogs. I feel it is my duty to prepare them for competition, which is what I do with riders. I can't teach shoddy skills, I have a perfection complex. But that doesn't work for everyone. In riding, they can find a new trainer that lets them ride poorly or put troll dolls in the horse's mane or with their thumbs turned down or whatever it is that my somewhat facist personality disallows. In agility, they are a little stuck without driving an hour farther.

Hey there is no contractor here and it's almost 8am! What a luxury and we have not even started ripping things up yet. We haven't even taken out the loan yet. Yesterday Jan the tile lady was here at 7:30 to tell me how expensive the tiling would be and by just making it not as cool and beautiful as I want, I can save lots of money. Thousands of dollars really. So I will have less cool tile but save thousands of dollars.

Also the porta potty research went poorly. Who knew. Here's the thing. It has to go in our front grass. Yes, if we want a porta potty, we have to take apart our front fence, and put it right in the front yard. Not only does this just Suck, theoretically, but the first permit inspector to take a leisurely drive down our street will see the porta potty, know something is up, go snooping around, and give us a big fat red tag for not pulling the super expensive and bullshit permits. So I am now researching the Neat idea of making my garage into a camping bathroom and the Even Neater idea of hauling the non theoretical but very real shit to an RV place on a regular basis. This is going to be such a Fun Adventure!

Bleeding gums of the handheld squirrel noises.

Yesterday, potential bathroom contractor Brian came over. He comes very highly recommended, and told me he specializes in High End bathrooms. I like to think I am a high end person, but I am pretty sure that many would dispute this fact after seeing my high end house decor that includes the beat up toy wood rifle held together with tape that I have hanging from plastic string over the living room mirror, both of which were purchased at yard sales. The rifle came from a yard sale in Tonopah though. So maybe I am more of medium end? I bought my kitchen table at Cost Plus, which I usually avoid since it was likely built by tiny slave children with bleeding fingers and gums but that is at least one store bought item in my house. But not exactly high end.

So he looked around and listened to me a lot. He is a good listener. But then when it's his turn to talk, he thinks a long time, and says what I think are carefully arranged, tactful thoughts. As opposed to when I talk, which doesn't always involve good listening and usually means very unedited thoughts blabbing straight out my mouth. But he seemed a little passive agressive, in a friendly, cheerful way and like maybe he was thinking I was a little weird or crazy or not high end enough. I don't know. He is a contractor, he has to work with nuts all the time. But I'm not sure if I can work with him if he is quietly always thinking nice ways to tell me that my idea sucks or is going to cost a million bucks. It is better to just tell me in regular words!

He was nice enough to crawl under the house to find the gigantic leak of the toilet which for sure means the floor has to be replaced-ka ching-for which the dogs loved him very much. He had a tiny little handheld machine to tell if wires-hey neat there are old knob and tube wires down there! were hot which made beeping squirrel noises, which endeared him very much to Ruby and he is her best friend. I am pretty sure Ruby would vote for contractor brian to remodel the bathroom because of crawling around squirrel noises.

I had a fun whirlwind tour of some stores that sell plumbing and tile and what not. I took notes. I wrote down the very expensive prices that made my bathroom cost twenty thousand dollars! For a Bathroom! Then I wrote down some more prices so I can make my bathroom cost less than that but of course, being a High End person I sure do love that $22 per square foot tile! But I am allowed to get the $5 per square foot kind! I can already tell I do not like bathroom remodeling, and this is while I am not taking showers in the driveway for all the neighbors to see. And having a lovely porta potty in my driveway or if I'm really lucky right on my front grass. I cannot wait, this is going to be Fantastic! And all the while writing checks from the fun and exciting loan for it!

I discovered a neat fact about Team Small Dog blog, which is that many people visit it once on the internet, then never come visit it again! This doesn't exactly hurt my feelings, I know in real life I can have this special effect on people too, so it is cool and special that it is channeled straight over the internet too. I knew the internet was like magic!

Wrong taxidermy is alway soothing to me.

Indefinite Listing Privilege.

We all did just fine on our Sunday of no agility trials. There was a low tide in the morning so the dogs got to run their tails off at the beach in the morning, and Timmy was able to walk all the way there and back. I worked on fun projects like pricing tile for the potential gutting of the bathroom-ouch. I discovered that our regular phone line doesn't work. And at the end of the day we all went for a walk in Pogonip. There are so many things out there to do when you're not sitting at a dog show all day.

If I competed in the AKC, I could have been to a very close trial, right in Scotts Valley. And if I were truly a good person, I would have volunteered to work there all day Sunday. Because it was put on by the dog club I teach agility for. I didn't work because I am lazy and really wanted a day off. But why don't I compete in the AKC?

Well, for one, I don't have purebred dogs. The AKC is designed for purebreds. So, if you have a dog that sort of looks like a purebred or even is one but isn't registered, AKC, you can do what's called an ILP. This stands for Indefinite Listing Privilege. Right there, the name sort of makes me feel creepy crawly inside. I can list my dog with them and it is a Privilege because they are closer to the purebreds. If I can convince them my dogs look enough like and meet enough breed standards of an approved breed, I can have the privilege of listing. My dogs are what they are. God knows what they are. They just don't look like a breed.

And then the AKC started this thing of maybe they will start letting non purebred breeds compete against purebreds in agility but under different rules and classes and would be kept Quite Separate. That is pending right now.

I don't hate the AKC in general, they taking a good stand against the really messed up "supposedly good" spay and neuter law for California. But the agility policy just reeks of classism, even though it's just dogs. Some of us need to get the dogs out of shelters, no matter what they are. I know I am one person that will never buy a dog. I could end up with a purebred through rescue, that is absolutely possible. But I am also going to keep pulling the sorta not so adoptable ones out of crappy lives too.

USDAA and CPE and ASCA let you run any damn dog, any time you want. No breed restrictions. So I am all for supporting them. Even if it means I miss out on a bunch of trials the other kids get to go to.

You didn't see Anything.

Deadwood is the best thing that has ever been on TV. It is the winner over My So Called Life. I Love Lucy. Project Runway.and Big Love. And since we do not have HBO, the next best thing is that Gary brought home the first DVD of the 3rd Season. So I can have Deadwood, Deadwood, Deadwood, all the time. The marathon began last night, after the loud half hour of fireworks blocking booming stereo music which worked, you are welcome Ruby.

Just one reason I love Deadwood. Al Swearengen says, "In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another." I am not even a quoter, but I love Deadwood writing more than any writing in the world. Everyone says things like this. You have to watch every episode twice to hear exactly what they all say because every word is so perfect.

I love the mud and the sets and the lighting and Charlie Utter and Calamity Jane and Doc and Trixie and Joanie Stubb's hat. I love that Richardson is a wizened toothless deer antler worshiping bitch to EB Farnum. Last year's ranch buying exploits, that still have me cursing Exactly Like Al Swearengen included an actual Deadwood house on the ranch. That just made the kick in the ass of not getting it that much more stinging and swollen.

There are no dogs on Deadwood. Frequent horses. And horse related deaths, ie the tragic death of the son of the brother of Seth Bullock. It's not for everyone, I actually know people who do not even like Deadwood.

In a weekend with no dog agility, thank god for Deadwood.

Fireworks season begins!

Tonight is going to be a Super Fun Night in Santa Cruz. Because it marks the beginning of fireworks season! Fireworks season runs from mid-June thru mid July. It peaks at Fourth of July, that is the night all the neighbors buy their internet illegal fireworks, just like the Pro's Use, and set them off all day and night. Tonight it starts with the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk's (a website designed by me, back in the day) 100 year anniversary fireworks night. Which gets everyone all going, and revved up for fireworks season.

The reason I know about this special season, so precious to our beautiful beach neighborhood is Ruby has horrible fireworks or gunshots (both things you hear on our street sometimes) phobia. Worse than her phobia of flies or things that feel funny to her feet. Or her phobia of water bowls she has not met in a previous life. Flies is a close second. But fireworks is the worse. At the first sound of one, far away in the distance, she starts to shake and quiver and trot around the house trying to get under things. On a bad fireworks night, like when the Fireworks Fiesta starts on the street behind us and sounds like loud booming cannons for hours and hours, and would actually be cool to watch if the dog didn't have the sound problem, it gets really bad. Like she shakes violently, wedges herself under the lowest piece of furniture she can find and shakes uncontrollably til the noise stops. Usually I put the stereo on as loud as possible so it shakes the house and that's all she can hear and that helps, but I have to be home and know when to predict the fireworks, which is hard if they are unscheduled in the neighborhood. And they are Big in the neighborhood.

Greg Derrett hand, Susan Garrett skort.

I drove up Mt. Madonna road, not to the cabin, since that would be more of a weekend day long journey, but to the property just up the road, $834,900 for the 5 acres and a modular. It is a fairly nice modular, and the property is awesome, up on the hill. But let's be realistic. That is a big amount of money for what is still just a very fancy mobile home on 5 acres of fields. And this one is way far out of Gary's driving range, although it is 3 minutes from my barn. Would be a great horse property with just adding a mere additional $250,000 in improvements to it like fencing, grading, arena and barn. What a deal.

I am fat and the dogs are hyper and untrained andgetting fat, too. Otterpop was already leaping around the house from furniture to furniture at top speed at 7am this morning. It's like having a little wind up bat leaping around as background noise while you drink coffee. And literally my pants do not fit. If it's not one thing with me, it's another. I am pretty sure that complaining is not positive thinking and will not get me into my size 6 pants and will not get the dogs winning their divisions and will not buy me a ranch but my back hurts! So back or no back we will run a little while on the beach this morning.

Another agility-less weekend. They are having a Greg Derrett seminar at Power Paws, but it was too pricey for me and likely will be too hot. While just attending that wouldn't get me winning without practicing, I would have likely learned better skills and more cool things to teach the agility students. But there are just too many bills piling up in other places, just the audit fee was $75.

Greg Derrett is the British god of front crossing agility. He makes videos with his perfect border collies and marriend a beautiful American agility competitor who is also named Laura. Bringing up the outside hand/shoulder as a mini RFP to indicate taking the inside, not outside obstacle, is known (at least by me) as Greg Derrett hand. I probably use closest to his handling style than anything else because he is very popular in the Bay Area and the teachers around here all subscribe to him, as well as Susan Garrett, who is Canadian and not related but also a big huge deal and they are good friends, Derrett and Garret.

I did take a Susan Garrett seminar and I actually learned a lot, more about general training of dogs than anything exactly agility related. I also learned I am a very different type of person than her and am very ok with that. I also learned if I had skinnier legs I want to wear a little tennis outfit for agility. I also always wanted Ruby to place higher than her dog, DeCaff in the 16" and we never did, and now Ruby is a 12" dog and we won't have a chance again til DeCaff moves down to 12" someday if she gets old and decrepid like Ruby did. I think I even wrote that down as a goal at one point. Kick DeCaff's ass in Grand Prix.

Chainsaw in the yurt.

I would certainly like to live in this cabin. It's in our price range, theoretically, at $740,000. It is on Mt. Madonna road, which is out near my work. Except the part of the road it is on is sort of unmapped, way up over the mountains, looking down a the other side. Hence this photo of the house, in winter.

The directions to get there are sort of unexplainable, and lead me to believe it is a long, challenging jeep road up through the mountains, likely about an hour plus drive from Santa Cruz. I have been up this road once, on an excursion to see "how long it would take to take the back way" home, having no idea there was a whole other universe up there, that is officially, in Santa Cruz. There were waterfalls and yurts tucked into canyons and unpaved sections and thank god we had a map is all I can say. It is the wilderness known as Santa Cruz Mountains and some people actually enjoy living up there. It's a little militia for my tastes, veering more towards huskies on chains secured to large trees and trucks with multiple gas cans bungeed in the back and multiple gun racks in the back window. Too many chainsaws per capita up there.

Normally, at this time, on a Thursday, I would be driving out to practice with the dogs in the morning before work. The unexplained back stabbing pains of yesterday made me think that perhaps this is not a good thing to do today. So we are having another week of no agility, no running, no contacts, no practicing. For an agility blog, this is pretty weak right now. Such is the way my agility life ends up.

The dogs did practice being well behaved and not evil to Tom the roof guy who came over at 8:00 this morning to look at the roof issue that makes most contactors run screaming. That is not getting us any Steeplechase placements though. Tom, being a roofer, has seen it all and remained calm and took photos and will call me in a few days with what will likely be the very expensive estimate. Also to his credit, he likes dogs too and they did not keep barking at him. Timmy likes all contractor guys, so that is not an issue. Ruby hates them until she comes out, sees they are not coming to chainsaw us to bits and rob the house of all the rotting taxidermy and is fine. Otterpop pretty much does what I command her to because she is under my power so if she doesn't take Ruby's lead, she is fine. Tom the roof guy even said she is cute, which is something Otterpop doesn't hear a lot.

OtterPop with Timmy, before her new collar. She is disturbed. Timmy is zen.

OtterPop with Ruby after new collar. Well behaved, like little ponies.

What I do before Work sometimes.

8:00am-Daniel, the potential bathroom remodeling guy shows up. Looks at bathroom. Does not run screaming, but does declare it a very expensive disaster zone. Listens to my many ideas, looks a little hungover, but I decide I like this guy. Tells me I need to call Jan the tile lady though. He likes dogs. He likes it that when a dog thinks about barking (Hi Otterpop!) I spray it with water.

8:15AM-Decide to push my luck with Daniel and show him the potential roof remodeling job that could also be Part of the Bathroom! if I am a lucky person and can refinance more money. Basically, like all the rest of them, runs screaming and mutters about anxiety attacks and I need a big, huge pro roofer to even look at that. But he would still be happy to remodel the baththroom and I must promise never to mention the roof remodeling project and bathroom in same sentence. The whole idea of a wall that could Join and Unite them so Easily is utter garbage and something I must erase from my dirty mind. Maybe it will cost $3000 for Daniel to do the work, maybe it will cost $6000 for Daniel to do the work. It is a fun mystery to think about!

8:30am-Am walking down the street with my dogs and a stabbing pain like a knife takes over a section of my back. Not sure if it is related to the roof issue, my knee going out in the spaghetti sauce aisle of Trader Joe's last night, or none of the above. Cannot walk for a couple minutes then limp home.

8:45am-Jan the tile lady has not returned calls yet. Two roofers have. Wifes or receptionists of roofers. One is a bitch and as I am trying to explain the neat project it Could be and the 5 roof lines and the rotting mushroom section of roof and all the multitude of electrical cords, etc that live in the rotting mushroom boards tells me without looking they will charge me $84/hr to slowly rip each section of board away and it will cost me more money than I can imagine. One is very friendly and will send Brett the roof guy over tomorow at 8am.

9am-Go to the bathroom place to look at Expensive things to go in a bathroom like tubs and faucets and toilets. Suzanne tries to be helpful but she is new and I try to be nice but I am a bitch and we figure out a bathroom in fixtures alone will be $6000. Ha! Also I can only sit sort of slumped over to the side because of the back thing, which by now I have taken 5 Ibuprofen tablets for and it is rendering my right arm sort of numb and hurts a lot.

9:30am-Go to my new attorney Ben's office. I like Ben the attorney. He explains things to me very, very slowly and I take notes. It will cost me $1200 to become an LLC! I am going to be a Limited Liability Company now called Laura Hartwick Training. Now when someone tries to sue me they can only sue LHT, LLC and not Laura Hartwick, regular person. Cool! And pay more taxes. I should not be joking about this, it will be a nice thing for me. I already pay buckets of money to the nice equine insurance guys so now I will pay some more buckets out to Ben to help me. Ben reminds me of the snowman on Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer.

10am-Now we can get to work finally and it is 90degrees today! The dogs are very, very hot and I cannot walk much and teach in the upper ring and drag a plastic chair up there and sit in the shade with a cool drink while the young girls try to turn their horses in the heat. Where is Jan the tile lady? Why don't the phones work any more at the ranch even though the nice Verizon lady said they would? Should I go to Home Depot on the way home? What about the $800,000 house in the ag ghetto? (I looked at this on the way home and actually it was very cute for a Mod-Yoo-Ler house with a cute little horse thing out back and neighbors right there but a nice view out to the orchards and fields that likely soon will be housing developments.

We didn't have agility tonite, thank god due to the stabbing knife issue of the back. The dogs just went on a nice walk on leashes, and Ruby and OtterPop got the nice equestrian style collars in the mail (you know, fancy pants leather like a bridle and a little brass name plate on the back so they can be easily identified and look like little ponies).

Sat down to wait.

I guess I got sidetracked from vintage photo week a couple weeks ago after I found the cool box of stuff in my parents' garage in LA. Sidetracked by dog agility? Weird dog antics? The new barn? One of the ranches? God only knows. Let's revisit down memory lane for just a moment.

I'm afraid I may have been a weird kid.

I wore this necklace every day. It was my only jewelry, besides the phase of little koala bears you attach onto yourself.

The necklace though is this big fat medallion that is attached to a ball bearing chain. I am going to say I was likely the one that picked out the attractive chain. The back has a cheery poem that reads,

On the Plains of Hesitation Bleach
The Bones of countless Millions Who,
At the dawn of Victory Sat down to wait,
and Waiting, Died.

Um. I wore this religiously, all through elementary school. With or without the koala. When I found it in the box of photos, I still could recite the poem without looking. I also used to carry a Hot Wheels lunch box, which I knew was the wrong choice from Day One of bringing it to school, (correct lunch box choice would have been Barbie), but you know how that goes. You pick it out, you are carrying that lunch box every day until the end of the year. I think I also used to tell everyone that I was going to marry a horse. Thank god I made it through elementary school.

When I was likely looking like this. I'm going to say, 1972?

That's me and my sister and our dog Ruffle, eating up some snak pak pudding. With the dreaded red shoes. My mom made us wear corrective shoes, I think it was the thing back then instead of sunscreen, corrective shoes.

House du Jour

We went up to the Mystery Spot house yesterday just cuz. Actually because Gary wanted to, and if he wants to actually go see a house, I am there. We like that area, even though it is in general, dark and creepy. Which it was. Also, it was a busy Mysery Spot day, which means we had to wait in a traffic jam on the tiny one lane road thru the forest til they found parking for the cars ahead of us.

The house was way up past that, and dead quiet. It was a very basic house, and the listing agent was my old landlord from sometime circa 1985 and she even remembered me. Which I am not sure is all that good, since it may have been a place we were not supposed to have a dog. She was extremely nice and friendly though so it was all water under the bridge, being 22 years ago. It had a sunny meadow patch, but for sure in the winter it would have been all day dark and creepy. It was nice and quiet though and very private. But way too dark and wet. There were lush wet ferns in the sun-not a good sign for most of the year up there.

Afterwards, we took the dogs for a walk in a nearby somewhat creepy forest park with hills,and Timmy could walk up all the hills! Also, here is a weird random fact. My neighbor, who is currently in jail, has a little white poodle. Her loser and insane boyfriend, responsible for jail and the neighborhood swat team day, is still in the house during the process to evict him. The little white poodle is at neighbor's elderly mother's house. For the last 3 days, he has had 3 little white poodles, none of them the one that actually lives there, in the yard, barking their heads off. Gary went over the other night to try and see what was happening (I need to stay away from the boyfriend because we have too many unpleasant encounters) and a new creepy guy came out because boyfriend was hiding and said he didn't know about any poodles. I'm going to go throw some cheese over the fence now to shut them up.

A client emailed me about a house going on the market soon, cheaper if I act quick before it goes on the market. A nice manufactured home-ie, mobile home with granite counters. With a roundpen and horse shed in the back on 2 acres, in sort of an agriculture ghetto neighborhood in Watsonville for $800,000. I am going to try and have a buddhist day and not complain and bitch non stop and desire what I do not have and try to enjoy my house and even pull some weeds from its yard today. And not think about the bargain $9600 per year in property taxes for a mobile home to buy some acreage in Santa Cruz.

Today's agility photo is a nice fast a-frame. I just sort of liked the photo. Ruby has a very fast a-frame, although a couple trials ago, Ruby of the slamming running a-frame contact started jumping the contact in her first class only. A new mystery to baffle me with.

It's a Sunday, what am I doing here?

Yesterday the dogs stayed home all day because we had an Open House at the barn so everyone could come and see the new place. We got it all spiffed up, painted a lot of jump poles, had a nice spread out in the barn, and lots of old and new customers came to visit. It was very fun to be a hostess, and everyone loved the barn. What a relief. In all ways. To be out of the Hole.

I left the dogs home, they would have been in the buffet table. That's just my dogs. They lived. They likely drove Timmy batty all day. It's good for him to have pals some of the time. He is doing so much better, he can walk/limp now all the way to and from the park and on a good day all the way to the beach. Most of all, he is happy and seems perky and healthy all the time. Miracles of the drugs.

It's a Sunday, and I am home. Which is weird. It's only 8am and I am not even sure what I am going to do all day, I haven't been here on a Sunday in months and months, or if I've been here it's been houseguests. Gary panicked when the alarm didn't go off, and thought we were late for work. Nope, it's just a Sunday and I was actually home. We have a lot of these coming up, no dog shows for me until late August. There are a few summer shows here and there, but they are hot and Ruby for sure doesn't run well in the heat, so I am of the why bother mindset about those. Especially because something still seems off about her. She looks sound but she isn't right. Not bad enough to go to the vet, I would rather just give it some time, her symptoms seem too vague to start into a whole vet workup about. Maybe it's just old age setting in.

I had a dream that the house on Freedom Blvd (the 10 acre old apple ranch with the forest on the back and loud road noise from the grandma house and everywhere else on the property) was dropped in price over $150,000 and we still couldn't afford it. And it had all these perfect, flat sections in the dream, including a huge arena with jumps in it already. Today I may spend some time wrapping my head around the reality that if we want a farm, we have to move to another part of the world. If we want a new house, we also have to move to another part of the world. We just like our part so much it's hard to imagine what section of the whole entire world we would pick. That's a lot of space I am ruling out based on I like Santa Cruz County. And the issue of Gary wants to keep his job and we sort of need him to keep his job so he gets some retirement pers someday. In a long time. When we are probably too old to be able to have a ranch because we will be too creaky to use shovels and dig and hammer a lot which is very important when owning a ranch.

Here's one that we can maybe afford, but probably still not. It's on Mystery Spot Road which is a long, one lane road that the Famous Mystery Spot Tourist Attraction is also on and many, many buses travel on in the summer to take people to see the Mystery.

It is also very, very dark and creepy up there. I do not want a house in the dark and creepy forest. I have told my realtor many times that trees and dark forests are out, Sun is the new Trees! Big flat meadows. So she didn't tell me to go see this one, I just like the price and the fact it has 5 acres (of dark creepy forest) attached to it.


They sell these dolls at the Mystery Spot. They are creepy. You see where I am going with the creepy business. But really. They sell these in the tiny creepy wood paneled shop. Which actually I love but they are a good creepy as opposed to genuine, creepy forest of dark trees creepy. Treepy.


We went there once. It made Joel have 2 chins and made him much tinier than Lexi. It made Pixel eventually grow up due to the weird magnetic growth horomones put out by the creepy trees there.


This was a long time ago, because that is Pixel not Atom strapped onto Lexi, and Karl has so much hair. I think 2004? That was the year I got married and we still had the old barn and the dogs ate Santa for Xmas and Otterpop appeared to us on Larkin Valley Road.

Travel for a Small team.

This is the way I wish we were traveling to trials.

Tiny airstream. They cost a lot. But they are the perfect way to camp out with small dogs, at an agility trial or anywhere. This is the design within reach version.

It's all swanky, modernist clean lines.

Ralph Lauren redid a few, this one is my true dream airstream, the Ralph Lauren Adirondack one. I think it cost $150,000 or somewheres near there.

He handmade the pillows out of old quilts or some such.

I would keep it in my driveway the rest of the time, and everyone that comes to visit can stay in it. I bet my SUV could even pull it. No big truck needed, it is tiny and petite.

Paris Hilton would need a larger one. I guess she won't be working on Tinkerbell's jump style this month now that she got put back in jail again. The judge was really mad! Poor Tinkerbell.

Back to dog jumping clinic. Do you see the issue here?



It got to be too fun to do this. But it is also disturbing to see just how long she likes to leave and the havoc it causes. The big question is, does she leave longer when sore or is it a big huge coincidence? She also leaves very, very long when fast. Jim has tried to help me with this, and timing crosses to get her to add a stride, but it is a long battle that I may have already lost. I bet if I put her thru gymnastics time and time again, but I can't do it at my house. Same with working with ground lines again like I did for the spread jumps. I am considering sneaking something somewhere at work, but there just isn't a good spot. And it is working well with the dogs there now, they like their pen and get to go run around sometimes at the end of the day, or the kids take them around on leashes.

They would eat Tinkerbell.

I am sure that Tinkerbell, dog of Paris Hilton, is very excited because the front page of everything this morning reported that Paris Hilton is already out of jail and can be on house arrest at her mansion. Perhaps Paris will use this time to reflect, and work on Tinkerbell's jump style. Perhaps not coincidentally, the Santa Cruz Sentinel's front page also featured the problem of girls wearing too short mini skirts to school. With a big, huge photo.


Today's dog agility lesson is on different jump styles in matching small black dogs that are not the same kind dog at all. Everyone always says, but they look so much alike! And granted most people can't tell them apart. In fact, I just got them new collars that have their names right there on the collar. So no more trying to tell the few interested people that want to know, how to tell them apart. (Ruby-no tail. Otterpop-tail. Ruby-black, Otterpop-brindly. Ruby-terrieresque, Otterpop-perhaps cattle dog in chihuahua clothing. Ruby-quiet and stealth, Otterpop-makes many weird sounds at all times).


Here's Otterpop going over a jump. She has a nice arc, she's just popping over this very short jump (in CPE she is so short she only jumps 8", which is like nothing for her) with a nice, relaxed expression, ears up, smiley face, not much effor.


Here is our Ruby. Ruby does agility with much intensity, as if her life depended on it sometimes. She can be casual too, but rarely at a trial, unless she just decides she's done at the end of the day, or, she is sore. She has an appalling jump style, which, when I had her at 16" for all those years, resulted in many dropped bars. She takes off very early-her sense of the appropriate time to jump is that of a much larger dog. She generally could put in one more stride. I've noticed too, that when I think she is sore, she leaves even longer. Sometimes, it's just because she's so fast and barrels down there or I run ahead of her on a long line, but other times I think it has to do with something else.

Her front end is plain old weird a lot of the time-she crosses her front legs. She looks like a little bullet and then, usually at the end of her arc, kicks out her back legs and hits the bar. All of which result in a landing that can look like this.


Ouch. It's only 15 lbs landing on those shoulders, but still. They are small shoulders.

Nice contact.

Photographer from the May CPE trials was one of those multi shot sports guys that takes a million frames. Very interesting to see things like wild contacts, and uncomfortable jumping styles of one of the dogs, that dog being Ruby. Who ran a bit last night, then seemed a little off-not lame per se, but landing off a jump, then kind of slowing down. She didn't love the footing in one section of the arena, which for Princess Ruby can be a Very Big Deal that no other dogs notice, but it was just strange and I didn't run her any more. She started out just fine, and got a nice long warmup.

Here is a contact example of my dog that has a "perfectly trained running teeter contact". Perfect except in the first class of the day at a trial. When she is apeshit fast and very hard to control.


Pausing, perhaps, for a second to make the tip happen. This is what we have been working hard on not having to do, her just running thru it. This suggests that she is putting the pause back in. Which causes the next frame.


Starts to shift her weight forward and keep running down after that little tiny pause. You can see my going, oh shit, she is not going to do it...


Aha we must leap from the bottom not run straight off like we practice over and over beautifully! Although here it looks like the bottom hit already.


Here is the leap! We are leaping not running down with all of the feet. There is my hand and leaning down body as if by magic I can put at least one of her feet back on the yellow, even though it looks like it is hitting here, this is not a good thing to be doing when you have been training and training the fast running teeter. Thank god for Otterpop's...


Nice head down. I am so smiley! What a good contact you have Otterpop-I am so glad you love the teeter again and do not see it and jump on, leap off, and go bark at the judge as if you wish to Kill Him!


And her head is still down, but where is that fast fly into her 4 on the floor (floor being teeter here) that we practice so much. This looks like a cheating little crouch!


Why is her butt not touching? Because she is cheating! And I am letting her, because I am so happy she is not leaping and barking. I did hold all her real, genuine contacts this last weekend in ASCA when I had no pressure of getting a Q. Look at her nice head up, is that what we practice? Boy do I love photos to see all my gigantic flaws of training!

It's hard to tell how fast Ruby is going here, sometimes her weave poles, since last year when she was not so sound off and on, can be really slow. Not really slow like, I am just walking through the weaves here, but not speeding thru with her head down and forward at top speed. Which they are when we practice, usually the first few times through, then they get slower. This picture is funny, the poles look so tight, but there are 12 of them and they are 21 inches apart, 1 set pf poles is way longer than it looks in the photo. This would be called Foreshortening and what a good example of uses of perspective.

I have been treating her a lot when we practice for really fast poles. But I am also on the fence about how much to practice poles. If they do make her sore-that back and forth and hard action on that right shoulder-then they're going to maker her slow. So I can ice her shoulder, give her antiimflammatories, like I do for my knee. Or not practice much and when I do, give her a big huge treat? I dunno. The only thing that we really need to work on with the poles is doing them at far, Masters Gamblers distance. She has a mean entry from anywhere, and is really solid in them otherwise. The only time she has popped a pole in my memory is last years big Labor Day Show Steeplechase Finals, when we had a great time and I rushed her out of the poles at almost the end of the course, totally blowing her chances to win maybe $8 or so!

We are back to class tonight. I may give Ruby a break and run my teacher's dog instead with Pop and let her relax and have a couple weeks off. I have to think of some good things to teach the students too. One of the students moved back to Switzerland over the break. And another riding student mom (mom of 2 paying kids) called yesterday and said they just cannot deal with the drive and they are putting the kids into an afterschool program called Pony Pals instead. Ok. Sounds great. They were beginners, Pony Pals should be just fine for them instead of me chasing them around trying to get their horses to trot more than 2 steps in a row. But that is 2 more paying customers gone. Augh. I have a feeling it is going to be a thin summer and then in the fall will build up more but am going to somehow have to weather a summer of no money. I am too old for this. The moms just like to drive 15 minutes to a barn, no matter how crappy. They don't care. It's not worth it to them to drive 40 minutes to a barn that is good for horses. Likely not a good long term customer when that happens.

I am not now nor will every be an Attorney.

OK. What is a hookah lounge? The logo has a little crown, like Madani is a queen? The queen of the hookahs?

The lawyer thing is driving me insane. The mom reports, "Jim has had one of his attorney friends read the release this week as well and he felt it was a very aggressive release and clearly designed to "go after people with deep pockets" should a suit arise. He said he would not sign it either and he felt we made the right judgement."

The ranch owner is just trying to have a ranch. She isn't trying to go after anyone. When I met with her today about this whole situation, she was kind of aghast. She is dyslexic and can not even read that great. Some lawyer told her this would protect her.

I think that basically, the family that is having this whole thing and making me so Mad just doesn't want to drive their kid to a far away barn. They do not get it that the old barn was horrible and made us crazy and was bad for the horses. The new barn is nice and the people are nice and it is good for the horses. Kind of a no brainer. They are just looking for a way to move barns but make me look like a bad guy I think, so their little girl hates me and not them. Hi! I am evil horse trainer that will not let you ride unless you sign the form, we must find a nice new one that has nice forms, even though I taught your tiny child to ride at age 5 and got her to win at shows even though she is untalented! The ranch owner now said she will get a new release, she didn't want to make anyone upset with it. So now we'll see what they do.

OK. Here is the new plan. We will find 20 acres. That can hold 3 houses, one for us, one for Karl and Deb, one for Joel and Lexi. There will be a studio and a barn and a horse facility. And a tractor. Maybe there is an extra house for my parents? There is already a perfect place with 3 houses on it plus a studio but it is 2.75 million dollars, one of my vets thought I could afford this because of all the houses. I looked at it and it was stunning. But we need something like just the land and we could build it and the land is $300,000 so we have room to build it. Now we just have to find a place where the land is that cheap and we could all be retired? And do things that make money from the land. Like teach riding lessons and train horses and graphic design and dog agility lessons and dog boarding. Compuer programming and Yarn spinning? Selling things on ebay and writing books that people will purchase?

Goat enigma fish taxidermy.

Ruby's back was really sore last night. Was that it? I dunno. She is an enigma sometimes, that dog. I'm going to give her a little time off I guess, but she seemed so sound until mid afternoon yesterday, and was never limpy. She might be getting old and creaky like me. She is almost 7, then she'll have passed me in dog years. Timmy is getting towards 100 in dog years! He is doing great right now, he has had a big upswing in the last few weeks, which is a huge source of making me happy. I'll take the small things.

I had this dream the other night that every time I had to drive one stretch of road, my car became overcome by ghosts and I would be posessed, ala Linda Blair, for 5 minutes. It was getting really inconvenient and unpleasant to drive to and from work.

My summer project is going to be redo Ruby's contacts and try to get our bathroom redone.

Today I have to be a graphic designer and I can hardly wait. I love having a day off where I get to sit in front of the computer working on other people's stuff for meager amounts of money. But I do need the money, no matter how meager. And then if I am sitting at the computer I might as well work on my projects. Lately I have even wanting to start working in the actual art studio except that it has become the storage unit for Moderate Growt and the couch I moved from my parents when we thought they were moving. Now they have a bare spot in the living room and I have no studio space. It is like when the irony is so funny it makes you want to cry.

I might take a break from real estate. But I might not. It just is depressing me so horribly. I want to move so much but I don't want to move to a place that I don't really want just for the sake of moving. My realtor says just get an acre or two. I hate the thought of having some land but not enough to use it for what i really want. It's not so much of an investment in my future that way. Losing the house lottery has been the second money reality check in that last 3 weeks that is making me a little cranky. Hello secret, hello gratitude for owning a house at all and positive attitude and all that. That can be on graphic design list for today-get your head out of your ass.

We did not win, in the realm of the Godless.

First of all. We did not win the million dollar house lottery. This is a list of who won. I know some of them, and none of them include me. Even on the early bird prizes or smaller prizes. One of the winners is the head honcho of the people that brought the suit against dogs in Lighthouse Field and the Beach that has screwed up dog access for us forever. That just made it worse.

I'm not really sure why I thought I was winning this. I just thought I was. I think that might be positive thinking laws of attraction secret. There you go. Proof now that it is a lot of hoo ha. Or Maybe because even though I was having the Secret thinking at the same time I was making fun of it and deattracted the million dollar house lottery. So there goes that plan for the ranch. I am very disturbed over this one. Shaken even. I just thought I would win. I paid $150 for that lottery ticket. Ouch.

We also went to an ASCA dog show. Stands for australian shepherd but it's for anyone shelling out the $11 per run. In Hollister, which is almost exactly one hour from my house. Close! Not too hot. I wore essentially yesterday's crazy person outfit but it doesn't look so crazy at dog agility. Ruby had one insane standard run with a crazy fast time and 3 missed contacts-just flew off that teeter, the other 2 were close but no cigar. Her next standard was stunning and she won and Q'ed with 10 pts which I am not sure what that means since I am not ever registered in ASCA, it's our just for fun thing. Then she had a jumpers (I ran her in Elite everthing) which was great-fast but controlled and really clean and nice, just some wide turns and I had this inkling maybe she is sore. She wasn't jumping in and out of the car like she normally does and just seemed sort of off-but not in a lameness way, just funny. Her next jumpers she just was slow off the start and slow into a tunnel which is a bad sign-used to be her lamenes signal. So I pulled her off the run and let her just sit. She didn't even want to come out of her crate later, which is weird. So I'm not sure what's up with her. I think she just gets sore and if she is going to do agility she may have to stay on meds. If she was a horse I wouldn't even question this. She is my cute little dog though.

Otterpop was the usual. Not super fast, not slow, just steady around the course. She got Q's in everything except one standard that I decided to school her in when she missed the pole entrance, instead of running back and redoing I just took her back thru and then back thru again, which is an E but keeps her happy and reschooled those poles to nice and fast and clean. She just tooled around, a couple of peeks to the ring crew guys but seemed pretty over it by her last run. She is getting faster every time, but isn't up to super fast speed yet. She ran in novice, which in ASCA is very easy, so it was good confidence building for her. It was a really small trial, very laid back, almost like a fun match, so a lot of hanging around and letting her be out of the crate and sitting ringside was a good thing for her.

The trial was at these people's house who have devoted their 5 acres to agility. They hold trials there, have done grass, and have an arena and mare motel that is used for dogs. Hate them. I guess if we had moved to Hollister we could have one too, but the being in Hollister part is not so great. They are smart people. Making their sport at least likely pay for itself off their field usage. Would sure like that 5 acres.

I am not sure if this is the Law of Attraction?

This is possibly a negative thing. But I realized when I was walking the dogs just now, after work, that I look like a crazy person. At least I have my fake tooth in so I do not look like a disturbed pirate hillbilly. After looking through my box of photos from the 70's and 80's though, I realized that I have never, ever looked like a cool person in my life no matter how hard I try.

Case in Point:

Note the big white plastic sunglasses I am wearing. I got them recently at Target. Something made me think, these will make me look cool. For gods sake. They are big and white and have sparkles on the sides in fruit loop colors. They were like $6. I always buy $6 because I lose them so much. I haven't lost these yet and I have had them for 3 weeks at least. Because they are so ugly!

Hat. Brown. Baseball. A lot of time I wear a straw cowboy hat or a big floppy green hat with pink lining. It is cargo pant green. That doesn't make it cool. I have wrinkles though.

Hair. Bad. I had this idea based on Lexi's hair. To get it cut not normal like. So it has long bits and short bits and can look short or long depending on where the pony tail is. On Lexi, brilliant. On me, disturbed pirate hillbilly dog agility lady who cuts her own hair.

I am wearing red gortex running shoes. Let's leave it at that. So practical but hello. Hello! They are size 9 red gortex running shoes. And I wear them in public all the time.

Shorts and untanned legs. Sporty shorts from the Patagonia outlet. A whole other shade of red, probably with a very earthy name. Like Native American sand Red or something.

Black shirt. and earlier had a brown fleece jacket over it. Fleece for gods sake. Black tshirt that says UCSC equestrian team. I am their coach but the shirt frankly, was designed for the girls to wear to the horse show when they are not riding. Not for a coach to wear. The horse is blue and yellow (school colors). Not my colors. A black tshirt, hanes beefy T no less. Mens. Shows gut. No fit. No class.

This is the law of repellation, not attraction. Not only can I not attract Positive Things to me dressed like that, likely I am repelling all living things from me dressed like this. Guess who dresses like this? Dog agility ladies. I wouldn't even wear this to a dog show though. What somehow propelled me out of the house dressed like this is anyone's guess. I might have well left my tooth out or just carried it along with me tied to a ribbon or something.

Mental Positive attitude psychology Mangement System.

Apparently, a thing I lack is the Positive Attitude and Mental Management System. Not only do i lack this in order to Win with the dogs, but also to buy a ranch and Succeed in Life.

Now, last year one of my friends loaned me a copy of the Secret, which had been going around and was the Secret to Succeeding in everything through having a positive attitude. Some may say that my attitude ranges from not so positive to somewhat bad. And sarcastic. And that sarcasm is the hovel of losers. And happiness is a choice for those that have the money. I hated the secret. Basically, it said that if you think really, really positive, so positive so that you aren't ever thinking negative, the good things will come and that you can even get a New Bike! if you want it. Or a million dollars. Or a ranch.

I tried that briefly. I'm not sure how briefly. A day? It was going to make my head explode. I just can't believe that whole thing about positive attraction and that the successful in life get ahead through that. Oprah believes it but she started believing it after she was Oprah and had her ranch and diamond covered kibbles and bits.

So then I was looking on the internet and some of the fancy dog ladies that WIN and are really good and on the world team, they have Mental Management Systems and you can buy the cds for $50 and listen to them and they teach you how to win. Could it really be my problem? I am a good dog handler. I am a good horse lady. I think that a ranch of my own would make me a better person and I would like to be a winner and I just need more Money and a better Positive Outlook and I would acheive it? Is it my mean little brain that is keeping me from succeeding? I love taxidermy too and doing projects and it seems like the positive attitude might not have enough room for all those things at the same time. But is it the bad attitude that kept me from getting enough money to have a ranch and win the big dog show and have an art show at a museum where everyone buys all my paintings for lots of money so I can buy a ranch? Oh geez. Instead of thinking maybe this System can help me, my bad attitude makes me think, I would buy the system if I can get it for under $5 on ebay and what a rip off crock system he has and what could I sell to make me some money like that. Bad attitude or Hi! I live in the world of reality.