Last night I ran Otterpop in the more stressful late class where Ruby usually runs. So Ruby got to enjoy a leisurely paced, low stress, low jumping evening of somewhat slacking which is fine for practicing and distance work. Otterpop was her bullet fast little meat grinder self, I sat her with stressful barking dogs, she did a lot of barking and frisbee attacking and speedy teeters and contacts and was fantastic. So I am not sure what her trial slowness is. I think part teeter paranoia from way back just not liking teeter at her first trial and part stress out there in the ring without her beloved frisbee. I am making a big deal about leaving it somewhere before she runs in practice somewhere so she knows where she can find it when she's done. Do you see the things I make big deals about now in life? That I would even take 5 minutes to write about where I am leaving a dirty little ragged frisbee.
Also I checked scores and of course Susan Garrett won the Grand Prix that Ruby came in 5th in. Goddamn her that Susan Garrett. In her little addidas sporty outfit, newly lost personal trainerized weight off that people comment on all the time. Her little stubby legs even beat Ashley and Luka who are sweet and deserve to win and humble. I hope Otterpop can learn to run with the big dogs at a show and somehow make it to their ranks. Ruby is almost there. We just have to be better. It's a goal. The ranch and fast winning dogs. Um, ok ending global warming and mideast peace too I guess but I think I have better chances at the more personal smaller ones, so I'll stay shallow and concentrate on those for now.
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
31 August 2006
30 August 2006
Monkey Skull
When it got too depressing to talk about my day, at least I could tell Gary I found a home taxidermied monkey on ebay last night.
I think much ebay taxidermy is now happening for ebay. It's hard to find taxidermy that has been dusting away in attics anymore. Supposedly that's where the monkey was. I don't want taxidermy that people are sending their kids out to the woods to shoot so they can do quickie freeze dry and mount and post. I need it near rotten in the attic. Vintage. Almost to the dump. Preferably hand done by someone's grandpa or uncle with visible stitching. That's my kind of hunting. Estate safari. It's where I go when everything else gets too much. Onto ebay looking for estate sale taxidermy mounts.
Tonight is agility class. It's the little things to look forward to. Those little 60 second sessions of running fast. Just a few for a whole night's worth of work. I am going to teach my beginning class more Out work and some of the one jump stuff we learned at Susan Garrett. I'd like to become a better agility instructor. I see it going where I am with horses. A decent rider but better teacher. I guess that's where I am with most things.
There is so much barking at my house. Some days I am not totally sure where it got so bad. I am thinking Otterpop who didn't bark when she came but somehow induced this group dynamic of insanity that threw all the dogs over the top into a barking frenzy. But I do feel safer when the meth people come to the porch. Or neighbor issues and if they ever needed more money by breaking into my house. Thank god then for the barking frenzy. Hence why I am not motivated to do much changing of it.
I think much ebay taxidermy is now happening for ebay. It's hard to find taxidermy that has been dusting away in attics anymore. Supposedly that's where the monkey was. I don't want taxidermy that people are sending their kids out to the woods to shoot so they can do quickie freeze dry and mount and post. I need it near rotten in the attic. Vintage. Almost to the dump. Preferably hand done by someone's grandpa or uncle with visible stitching. That's my kind of hunting. Estate safari. It's where I go when everything else gets too much. Onto ebay looking for estate sale taxidermy mounts.
Tonight is agility class. It's the little things to look forward to. Those little 60 second sessions of running fast. Just a few for a whole night's worth of work. I am going to teach my beginning class more Out work and some of the one jump stuff we learned at Susan Garrett. I'd like to become a better agility instructor. I see it going where I am with horses. A decent rider but better teacher. I guess that's where I am with most things.
There is so much barking at my house. Some days I am not totally sure where it got so bad. I am thinking Otterpop who didn't bark when she came but somehow induced this group dynamic of insanity that threw all the dogs over the top into a barking frenzy. But I do feel safer when the meth people come to the porch. Or neighbor issues and if they ever needed more money by breaking into my house. Thank god then for the barking frenzy. Hence why I am not motivated to do much changing of it.
29 August 2006
For Them that Can Afford it
Happiness is a Choice for those that can afford it.
This morning I had the dogs down at the beach in the fog. Thick and wet fog, hardly anyone down at the beach. Me and the crazy guy. I haven't had to deal with many crazy guys there lately. In the past they have done things like kick the dogs, scream at the dogs, do a dance for the dogs, throw things at the dogs. This guy was just talking loudly to himself but his look was super extra creepy. He had huge fluffy hair and was a big dude and dressed more like a trucker than typical crazy guy which sort of made him scarier. I had to hand it to the dogs, I kept them distracted enough that they stayed away.
On Ranch Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous last night, there was a store called Kemo Sabe that sold all ranch items for the rich and famous like really fancy hats and super expensive giant belt buckles. And ready to go taxidermy! They had a giant moose head there for those that don't like to shoot their own moose. Gary thought this would be a good store for me to work at and I thought he was right. It has a lovely website and is in Aspen and Vail. Both nices places to have ranches if you can hire help. I think it would be too hard to do all the ranch work in the snow all by myself. Also we went to Aspen for like 5 minutes at the Hartwick Family reunion a few years back and I think it was more expensive than here for ranch purchasing.
There are barking dogs on my street today that are far louder than my dogs! And much yelling of neighbors "NO! NO!". Maybe there's a full moon. Hobo Joe said this is a bad month for astrology and full moons and to stay in bed as much as possible this coming month. Super!
This morning I had the dogs down at the beach in the fog. Thick and wet fog, hardly anyone down at the beach. Me and the crazy guy. I haven't had to deal with many crazy guys there lately. In the past they have done things like kick the dogs, scream at the dogs, do a dance for the dogs, throw things at the dogs. This guy was just talking loudly to himself but his look was super extra creepy. He had huge fluffy hair and was a big dude and dressed more like a trucker than typical crazy guy which sort of made him scarier. I had to hand it to the dogs, I kept them distracted enough that they stayed away.
On Ranch Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous last night, there was a store called Kemo Sabe that sold all ranch items for the rich and famous like really fancy hats and super expensive giant belt buckles. And ready to go taxidermy! They had a giant moose head there for those that don't like to shoot their own moose. Gary thought this would be a good store for me to work at and I thought he was right. It has a lovely website and is in Aspen and Vail. Both nices places to have ranches if you can hire help. I think it would be too hard to do all the ranch work in the snow all by myself. Also we went to Aspen for like 5 minutes at the Hartwick Family reunion a few years back and I think it was more expensive than here for ranch purchasing.
There are barking dogs on my street today that are far louder than my dogs! And much yelling of neighbors "NO! NO!". Maybe there's a full moon. Hobo Joe said this is a bad month for astrology and full moons and to stay in bed as much as possible this coming month. Super!
28 August 2006
What's New With You?
In order of excitement.
Dog agility related news. No major dog meltdowns at the big dog show. Many Q's for fast but not fast enough to win Ruby in the Masters Division. Otterpop was freakishly slow, not sure why. Teeter totter paranoia (note to self, good band name) or the crowds watching the rings but she is usually like a little meat chopping bullet out there and just wasn't that good. And had a teeter moment in her first Grand Prix and I pulled her out. I did much carrying of equipment. Much working of rings. Was basically a good, basic dog show, nothing bad happened which makes it good. I either win a class or win a lesson is what Susan Garrett (all bitch ass talk to no one where her little spandex outfits self at dog show) says.
I think one place I have happiness now is a good fast run with one of the dogs. Without errors, doing it as planned, and the dog is apeshit happy running. So that was Ruby at least. We both ran our little panties off in her Snookers. We couldn't get the extra point to get the Super Q (it's like the big fast high point super winner) but we were way up there and tried about as hard as we could. Happiness is a Fast Snooker.
Fun drunk neighbor drama. Always fun to feed the drunk sad neighbor sandwiches for breakfast in the kitchen and refuse her beer. But at least no police or paramedics involved! Scarey drug user on my front porch. I am getting good at ordering them off my porch.
Much fun barn drama. Wow, maybe someday I will stop checking my email at night so as not to have to stay up all night worrying about the devestation of my life. Happiness is a choice! Infinite Patience! Personal Growth! Bags under Eyes! The realization though, of if my business goes down the tubes, where do i put Jane and how do the unemployed buy ranches has been waking me up at about 3am now.
Where is the fun taxidermy talk? Super dog agility tips (keep your eyes on the damn dog!)? I think it's better to complain and whine in the blog than to random people who I scare with the wide eyed ranchless babble.
Laura the dog trainer in the horse trainer costume.
Dog agility related news. No major dog meltdowns at the big dog show. Many Q's for fast but not fast enough to win Ruby in the Masters Division. Otterpop was freakishly slow, not sure why. Teeter totter paranoia (note to self, good band name) or the crowds watching the rings but she is usually like a little meat chopping bullet out there and just wasn't that good. And had a teeter moment in her first Grand Prix and I pulled her out. I did much carrying of equipment. Much working of rings. Was basically a good, basic dog show, nothing bad happened which makes it good. I either win a class or win a lesson is what Susan Garrett (all bitch ass talk to no one where her little spandex outfits self at dog show) says.
I think one place I have happiness now is a good fast run with one of the dogs. Without errors, doing it as planned, and the dog is apeshit happy running. So that was Ruby at least. We both ran our little panties off in her Snookers. We couldn't get the extra point to get the Super Q (it's like the big fast high point super winner) but we were way up there and tried about as hard as we could. Happiness is a Fast Snooker.
Fun drunk neighbor drama. Always fun to feed the drunk sad neighbor sandwiches for breakfast in the kitchen and refuse her beer. But at least no police or paramedics involved! Scarey drug user on my front porch. I am getting good at ordering them off my porch.
Much fun barn drama. Wow, maybe someday I will stop checking my email at night so as not to have to stay up all night worrying about the devestation of my life. Happiness is a choice! Infinite Patience! Personal Growth! Bags under Eyes! The realization though, of if my business goes down the tubes, where do i put Jane and how do the unemployed buy ranches has been waking me up at about 3am now.
Where is the fun taxidermy talk? Super dog agility tips (keep your eyes on the damn dog!)? I think it's better to complain and whine in the blog than to random people who I scare with the wide eyed ranchless babble.
Laura the dog trainer in the horse trainer costume.
25 August 2006
The Smallest Monkey in the World
Last night I ran the dogs, well, just Otterpop, in a Susan Garrett class. Otterpop was fantastic-fast and drivey and did everything I asked to do with gusto! She did all the running since Ruby walked up to the car when we were leaving work, limping. Of course there is a Grand Prix this weeekend. We'll just have to see. Susan Garrett is actually very irritating, but at the same time a fantastic instructor and she does know how to train dogs. And win. I liked the piece of advice to handle the dog, not the obstacles. And Believe, Connect, Execute with patience and succeed. I need all the mantras, success words affirmations, whatever now that I can find. Something has to start working.
At Wed.nite agility this week, Otterpop taught herself to climb up onto the 4' high deck like a monkey. It was weird. I am not sure how or why she invented that. It's sort of like when she tries to climb trees. She is the closest thing I may ever have to my own monkey.
I stayed up half the night worrying about the barn and just being stressed out. At least in my mind, I have goals that I am trying to reach. And being at Willowpond doesn't help them, except in the fact that I don't have to sell off the horses and get a job at Home Depot. I hope I can just enjoy being at a long, drawn out dog show this Sunday. And not deal with the barn.
At Wed.nite agility this week, Otterpop taught herself to climb up onto the 4' high deck like a monkey. It was weird. I am not sure how or why she invented that. It's sort of like when she tries to climb trees. She is the closest thing I may ever have to my own monkey.
I stayed up half the night worrying about the barn and just being stressed out. At least in my mind, I have goals that I am trying to reach. And being at Willowpond doesn't help them, except in the fact that I don't have to sell off the horses and get a job at Home Depot. I hope I can just enjoy being at a long, drawn out dog show this Sunday. And not deal with the barn.
24 August 2006
Warm Guns are a Choice
Agility is mostly made up of ladies in their middle aged years. This is a sweeping generalization, but there is definitely something about dog agility and dog training and dog showing that especially apeals to this demographic. Which I am now in,althogh I did like agility before i reached 40. And I do have a teenager in my beginning class, who I encourage as much as I possibly can. We (they?) tend to enjoy dog picture clothing with cute agility slogans.They just do not feel like my people. I try to find my people there and I work hard on accepting others who feel so different to me. What is wrong with us though, that we are so obsessed with training our dogs?
Happiness is a Warm Puppy.
Happiness is a Choice.
Happiness is a Warm Gun.
Happiness is a Warm Puppy.
Happiness is a Choice.
Happiness is a Warm Gun.
23 August 2006
Alison Parker
On Melrose Place, Alison Parker's life was marked by the fateful day she started work at D+D Advertising for Miranda. Or maybe the day she moved into the complex. Her future career of Lifetime movies and little skirts was marked by that day.
V. told me about making a timeline of all the events in her life and how things she hadn't thought about turned up there. And how maybe your life gets affected all the time and you sort of don't realize how much. So when you get to a place, ie, like here I am now, where things seem just really screwed up, you can go back and wonder how those turns and twists marked you up, put the kick me here sign on your ass, and you didn't even know.
So right now, I am probably losing my business that I worked so hard to build up for the last 6 years. I have horses that need a place to live that I can afford and drive to. I need to find a way to get money so I can still keep the ranch dream going-not going to work if I find real estate and have no job to make the huge payment (or have totally lost all my horse clients and have no future there). It just seems like such a cruel joke that keeps getting played on me. One week it's all here. The next week it's gone. The next week something comes up that might save it. The next week it's all gone again. Every time my ass gets more bruised and the kicks hit more body parts.
This is the melanoma on kissy's tail.
Hey on a happier note we have agility class tonight! And a class with the evil Susan Garrett tomorow night. And both dogs running in the Grand Prix on sunday. Beaches Peaches and Little Miss Sunshine.
V. told me about making a timeline of all the events in her life and how things she hadn't thought about turned up there. And how maybe your life gets affected all the time and you sort of don't realize how much. So when you get to a place, ie, like here I am now, where things seem just really screwed up, you can go back and wonder how those turns and twists marked you up, put the kick me here sign on your ass, and you didn't even know.
So right now, I am probably losing my business that I worked so hard to build up for the last 6 years. I have horses that need a place to live that I can afford and drive to. I need to find a way to get money so I can still keep the ranch dream going-not going to work if I find real estate and have no job to make the huge payment (or have totally lost all my horse clients and have no future there). It just seems like such a cruel joke that keeps getting played on me. One week it's all here. The next week it's gone. The next week something comes up that might save it. The next week it's all gone again. Every time my ass gets more bruised and the kicks hit more body parts.
This is the melanoma on kissy's tail.
Hey on a happier note we have agility class tonight! And a class with the evil Susan Garrett tomorow night. And both dogs running in the Grand Prix on sunday. Beaches Peaches and Little Miss Sunshine.
22 August 2006
Infinite Patience
"Welcome to hell" means it's time to start new mantras.
Things to enjoy include Little Miss Sunshine, the beach, peaches, the Shins and of course dogs.
The night that Ruby disappeared, the lady that spotted her running towards home seemed like a wise old lady. She had cat lady glasses and a hand knitted cap and a little wiry haired dog. She had treats in a little purse. I've never seen her before, and it's like she appeared out there to make me think about something. I am pretty sure if someone met me, they wouldn't say that about me. They might say, she has crazy look in her eye, baggy pants and seems to be obsessed with all kinds of horse real estate. Since yesterday, they may comment that my eyebrows seem to be professionally shaped. But probably not. Most people don't notice things like that. They do notice a manic look in my eye and this obsession to talk about these mythical ranches that just don't exist. I'm still not sure why.
I am trying to go with this whole business of having infinite patience to produce immediate results. Then when I googled that, a really nasty self help website came up. So that might me being not open to what the universe has. I am trying to be open to not getting kicked in the ass by the universe.
Things to enjoy include Little Miss Sunshine, the beach, peaches, the Shins and of course dogs.
The night that Ruby disappeared, the lady that spotted her running towards home seemed like a wise old lady. She had cat lady glasses and a hand knitted cap and a little wiry haired dog. She had treats in a little purse. I've never seen her before, and it's like she appeared out there to make me think about something. I am pretty sure if someone met me, they wouldn't say that about me. They might say, she has crazy look in her eye, baggy pants and seems to be obsessed with all kinds of horse real estate. Since yesterday, they may comment that my eyebrows seem to be professionally shaped. But probably not. Most people don't notice things like that. They do notice a manic look in my eye and this obsession to talk about these mythical ranches that just don't exist. I'm still not sure why.
I am trying to go with this whole business of having infinite patience to produce immediate results. Then when I googled that, a really nasty self help website came up. So that might me being not open to what the universe has. I am trying to be open to not getting kicked in the ass by the universe.
20 August 2006
New Vistas and Communities
ok, this one looks cute right! it is also cheapest
in neighborhood...
ok-to decipher...
nice=piece of crap
meadow=small patch of non wooded area
surrounded by lovely redwoods-dark on most of
property even though we show you sunny photos!
great garden space=the only usable patch looks
huge in these photos but in reality you could put
in a nice vegetable garden. horses-ha!
sound of surf=close to the freeway! sounds of cars
too.
small cabin=this is the rotting miners shack that
we would gladly pay you to demo except it is
sitting on a huge septic hole filled with sewage
and was the toxic meth lab most recently
ok, maybe i am just so bitter and over this but
this has been 2 years! 2 years! and i am off to
see another one this afternoon. cannot wait to see
what surprises await! (yesterday was the "horse
property" on freedom blvd with the teensy patch of
slope (rest was cliff) that sloped right onto
neighors house-maybe you could fence and stick one
pony there.)
i am the real estate tourettes.
I found a home on REALTOR.com(R). Take a look at
http://realtor.com/Prop/1062928042
in neighborhood...
ok-to decipher...
nice=piece of crap
meadow=small patch of non wooded area
surrounded by lovely redwoods-dark on most of
property even though we show you sunny photos!
great garden space=the only usable patch looks
huge in these photos but in reality you could put
in a nice vegetable garden. horses-ha!
sound of surf=close to the freeway! sounds of cars
too.
small cabin=this is the rotting miners shack that
we would gladly pay you to demo except it is
sitting on a huge septic hole filled with sewage
and was the toxic meth lab most recently
ok, maybe i am just so bitter and over this but
this has been 2 years! 2 years! and i am off to
see another one this afternoon. cannot wait to see
what surprises await! (yesterday was the "horse
property" on freedom blvd with the teensy patch of
slope (rest was cliff) that sloped right onto
neighors house-maybe you could fence and stick one
pony there.)
i am the real estate tourettes.
I found a home on REALTOR.com(R). Take a look at
http://realtor.com/Prop/1062928042
19 August 2006
Side of Bacon
Last night I had the dogs out in the field to walk. On our way to the path out, I stopped and was talking to my friend Bev. I made the mistake of ignoring the small dogs for a moment, and when I looked for them, ok, maybe 5 minutes, Ruby was gone. Otterpop was gone for a moment, but was right there but definitely no Ruby. Called her for a while, nothing. She is the good, trained dog most of the time.
Bev got worried and she helped me look for a while with her husband. I had a feeling Ruby just got into something and was eating it and would just come out, that is how she is if she gets something really good. No recall. So much for trained dog. I was pissed. I was going to leave her there. But Bev was so worried I kept searching. Which was wise, poor dog could get killed trying to get home from there crossing so many streets.
So at least 45 minutes later, long story short after much dog searching, a lady spots small dog running towards home. It's Ruby. She came to me when I called from far away. God knows what she was doing. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. I think that the dogs know I have been miserable and irritable from ranch non purchasing and ranch non leasing and they are affected by my dark, foul moods. At least I got my dog back. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever see her again.
Saw a bad ranch after work. Had to see a horse at my own ranch so neglected it was barely walking, ribs and bones sticking out everywhere. Just a bad day, another dark foul mood.
Bev got worried and she helped me look for a while with her husband. I had a feeling Ruby just got into something and was eating it and would just come out, that is how she is if she gets something really good. No recall. So much for trained dog. I was pissed. I was going to leave her there. But Bev was so worried I kept searching. Which was wise, poor dog could get killed trying to get home from there crossing so many streets.
So at least 45 minutes later, long story short after much dog searching, a lady spots small dog running towards home. It's Ruby. She came to me when I called from far away. God knows what she was doing. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. I think that the dogs know I have been miserable and irritable from ranch non purchasing and ranch non leasing and they are affected by my dark, foul moods. At least I got my dog back. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever see her again.
Saw a bad ranch after work. Had to see a horse at my own ranch so neglected it was barely walking, ribs and bones sticking out everywhere. Just a bad day, another dark foul mood.
18 August 2006
16 August 2006
Championship Tattooing by Klem
I have been working on my team timmy tattoo. I just can't get the drawing quite right and it has to be perfect if it is a tattoo. Now I am thinking perhaps this would be a good career change, to tattoo artist. Since the ranch thing continues to kick me in the ass. I suspect I am realizing now, in my forties, that I am a kicked in the ass kind of person. As opposed to the one who does the kicking. I heard I should open myself up to limitless possibilities. Perhaps if I had a team spiritual counselor and life coach, things would be better. Instead I work on tattoo artwork and stalk the internet for cheap enough ranches.
Team practice is relegated to a walk to the beach and stick throwing. Everyone is entered in the Grand Prix in 2 weeks and we have not been practicing. Hence, I am setting myself up to be kicked in the ass. I hope small dogs kick their own ass. I also looked at what I was wearing just now and it is a crazy person outfit! Baggy and frumpy and old lady weirdo ranch outfit. It's obviously fun downward spiral week! .
To look forward to and be grateful for. Project Runway Night. Dog Agility Night. Tattoo drawings. Water snacks. Self Spritual Counseling.
Team practice is relegated to a walk to the beach and stick throwing. Everyone is entered in the Grand Prix in 2 weeks and we have not been practicing. Hence, I am setting myself up to be kicked in the ass. I hope small dogs kick their own ass. I also looked at what I was wearing just now and it is a crazy person outfit! Baggy and frumpy and old lady weirdo ranch outfit. It's obviously fun downward spiral week! .
To look forward to and be grateful for. Project Runway Night. Dog Agility Night. Tattoo drawings. Water snacks. Self Spritual Counseling.
14 August 2006
Baby Party
Yesterday I went to a baby party. Toddler, small child really. I felt obligated. The guests were divided into 2 piles-those with babies/toddlers/small children and those without. Those without chit chat about things they can think of, and those with chit chat somewhat about non child related items but keep an eye on child at all times then basically go back into chatting about child related things. There were small and very tasty child sized (diet!) cupcakes and also I was useful for putting together a puzzle. My eyes are good at seeing which puzzle piece goes where quickly.
When I commented on how shy 2 of the kids were when they cam to my non-baby party, I was told it was because of "My Dogs. Not all Dogs-just Your Dogs". Oh. They seem to gang up on prey on kids who are not sure about dogs, they form a small pack and demand their food. Kids lke Pixel who are used to dogs become their friends and are in high demand for throwing balls around but non dog friendly kids are just a source of party food apparently.
The team is not down with non ranch living life. It has been hard to go back to crate dwelling and walks on leashes. We did our latest ranch looking over weekend with very little success. We visited a friend's ranch-mansion house for sale for over 2 million smackers, it is set up to hold 3 horses. It is remote and a dog paradise. All for only 2.3 million dollars. The realtor did say it was a tad overpriced and should sell for more like 2 million. Such is life.
When I commented on how shy 2 of the kids were when they cam to my non-baby party, I was told it was because of "My Dogs. Not all Dogs-just Your Dogs". Oh. They seem to gang up on prey on kids who are not sure about dogs, they form a small pack and demand their food. Kids lke Pixel who are used to dogs become their friends and are in high demand for throwing balls around but non dog friendly kids are just a source of party food apparently.
The team is not down with non ranch living life. It has been hard to go back to crate dwelling and walks on leashes. We did our latest ranch looking over weekend with very little success. We visited a friend's ranch-mansion house for sale for over 2 million smackers, it is set up to hold 3 horses. It is remote and a dog paradise. All for only 2.3 million dollars. The realtor did say it was a tad overpriced and should sell for more like 2 million. Such is life.
10 August 2006
Wu's Pigs
Vacation Day 3
We drove up to Boonville to visit the Other Place. The Other Place is a 550 acre ranch up in the hills in the Anderson Valley that some SF folks bought, built 3 adorable tiny rental houses on it, furnished them up all chi chi and dog proof, and rent out to city folk with dogs that rarely get to run free on 550 acres. There's a pond, oak tree hills and roads they've cut into the property to drive to the 3 little houses. 550 acres is really big. If you want you can drive down to Boonville where restaurants are open sometimes, the market closes at 5pm, and there are wineries. Otherwise you just bring your food, cook in their Crate and Barrel cookware, and hang out in the Adirondak chairs. The walls have plaster finishes, there are distressed Ikea cabinets and Swedish leather chairs. The architecture is ranch shed meets modernist corrugated. It's rustic yet urban. OK, so not exactly my taste but the dogs were in heaven. You can sort of pretend you live on the ranch, but instead of working non stop to maintain it, you get to sit around on the patio furniture or hammock and imagine that your serfs are out there doing all the work.
Vacation Day 4
We tried sort of wine tasting but we realized we are so not wine tasting people. We got to one winery and panicked, bought some wine and took off. That was the end of wine tasting. You are supposed to spit into a big cup and chat about wine. Too weird. We went to the taco truck instead and got tacos. That I get. There are a million wineries down there but this just isn't our thing. We went back up the hill and just walked around some more with the dogs. They liked walking to the pond to drink pond water. Gary rode his bike around. I layed in the hammock and read another book. The dogs were happy just being let out the door and to not have to deal with traffic or neighbors or the other things that they have in tightly wound suburbia.
Vacastion Day 5
When we were out walking around, of course I had to meet the resident crazy horse lady from down the road. This is just who I attract. Her and her husband came running up a hill on 2 of their horses when we were out with the dogs, near the pond. I had noticed her barn though from the road, and she invited me to come and see it. After she showed me every single one of her horses's feet, since she had learned to do her own shoeing, not liking any of the local shoers. And her barn was cute, so I went down to visit her. I learned a lot about Boonville, about doing your own shoeing, and building a 6 stall barn. Her husband was quiet and a retired highway patrolman. He had much taxidermy in the house. She had detailed notebooks about all the hoof diseases she had gone through. I stayed down there talking to her for much of the morning. She was actually a super nice lady and took amazing care of her horses. Just talked a lot.
Later that day when we walked the dogs, we came upon the pigs again. That we had glimpsed from far away before. You could see a lot of pig rooting evidence out walking. Ruby took it upon herself to go after them. I guess they are actually referred to as wild boars, not pigs. Otterpop is a good dog in matters like this and seems to use common sense, as in, can this animal potentially kill me? Timmy was too tired and seemed to have learned from the llama debacle not to go after unknown animals. Ruby is of course fearless in things like this and was gone a long time after them. This is after scaring off deer, birds, jackrabbits and llamas. She came back before it got dark and before I went into a complete panic that she was gone, miles away and near death from pigs turning on her.
Late that night, we were woken up by growling. The moon was up and it was so bright outside it looked like baseball stadium lights were on. The dogs had a perfectly lit up outdoor scene out the giant picture windows and were growling and wanting to attack all night animals. The only one I actually saw was a giant jackrabbit that was definitely scared off when they lunged off the bed to the glass french doors. I had to get the dog crate out of the car and make them sleep in there in the hall where they couldn't see out into the bright night all the animal intruders that came up to the house.
Vacation Day 6
This was the end of vacation. Time to give up the fantasy that we lived on this ranch and hung out walking around all day doing nothing. Or that we lived in a remote ridgetop cabin. Had to drive home. We stopped in Healdsburg, which I've always heard of but never knew exactly what it was. It was like Carmel but hotter and with many wine shops. I think I get wine country now. It's a good place to be a land owner. The dogs were not happy to come back to a tiny yard and many neighbors and no wild animals. But they'll get over it.
We drove up to Boonville to visit the Other Place. The Other Place is a 550 acre ranch up in the hills in the Anderson Valley that some SF folks bought, built 3 adorable tiny rental houses on it, furnished them up all chi chi and dog proof, and rent out to city folk with dogs that rarely get to run free on 550 acres. There's a pond, oak tree hills and roads they've cut into the property to drive to the 3 little houses. 550 acres is really big. If you want you can drive down to Boonville where restaurants are open sometimes, the market closes at 5pm, and there are wineries. Otherwise you just bring your food, cook in their Crate and Barrel cookware, and hang out in the Adirondak chairs. The walls have plaster finishes, there are distressed Ikea cabinets and Swedish leather chairs. The architecture is ranch shed meets modernist corrugated. It's rustic yet urban. OK, so not exactly my taste but the dogs were in heaven. You can sort of pretend you live on the ranch, but instead of working non stop to maintain it, you get to sit around on the patio furniture or hammock and imagine that your serfs are out there doing all the work.
Vacation Day 4
We tried sort of wine tasting but we realized we are so not wine tasting people. We got to one winery and panicked, bought some wine and took off. That was the end of wine tasting. You are supposed to spit into a big cup and chat about wine. Too weird. We went to the taco truck instead and got tacos. That I get. There are a million wineries down there but this just isn't our thing. We went back up the hill and just walked around some more with the dogs. They liked walking to the pond to drink pond water. Gary rode his bike around. I layed in the hammock and read another book. The dogs were happy just being let out the door and to not have to deal with traffic or neighbors or the other things that they have in tightly wound suburbia.
Vacastion Day 5
When we were out walking around, of course I had to meet the resident crazy horse lady from down the road. This is just who I attract. Her and her husband came running up a hill on 2 of their horses when we were out with the dogs, near the pond. I had noticed her barn though from the road, and she invited me to come and see it. After she showed me every single one of her horses's feet, since she had learned to do her own shoeing, not liking any of the local shoers. And her barn was cute, so I went down to visit her. I learned a lot about Boonville, about doing your own shoeing, and building a 6 stall barn. Her husband was quiet and a retired highway patrolman. He had much taxidermy in the house. She had detailed notebooks about all the hoof diseases she had gone through. I stayed down there talking to her for much of the morning. She was actually a super nice lady and took amazing care of her horses. Just talked a lot.
Later that day when we walked the dogs, we came upon the pigs again. That we had glimpsed from far away before. You could see a lot of pig rooting evidence out walking. Ruby took it upon herself to go after them. I guess they are actually referred to as wild boars, not pigs. Otterpop is a good dog in matters like this and seems to use common sense, as in, can this animal potentially kill me? Timmy was too tired and seemed to have learned from the llama debacle not to go after unknown animals. Ruby is of course fearless in things like this and was gone a long time after them. This is after scaring off deer, birds, jackrabbits and llamas. She came back before it got dark and before I went into a complete panic that she was gone, miles away and near death from pigs turning on her.
Late that night, we were woken up by growling. The moon was up and it was so bright outside it looked like baseball stadium lights were on. The dogs had a perfectly lit up outdoor scene out the giant picture windows and were growling and wanting to attack all night animals. The only one I actually saw was a giant jackrabbit that was definitely scared off when they lunged off the bed to the glass french doors. I had to get the dog crate out of the car and make them sleep in there in the hall where they couldn't see out into the bright night all the animal intruders that came up to the house.
Vacation Day 6
This was the end of vacation. Time to give up the fantasy that we lived on this ranch and hung out walking around all day doing nothing. Or that we lived in a remote ridgetop cabin. Had to drive home. We stopped in Healdsburg, which I've always heard of but never knew exactly what it was. It was like Carmel but hotter and with many wine shops. I think I get wine country now. It's a good place to be a land owner. The dogs were not happy to come back to a tiny yard and many neighbors and no wild animals. But they'll get over it.
09 August 2006
Llama Trauma
Our Big Vacation, Day One
We drove up a long road, that turned into a dirt track somewhere near Lagunitas, Marin. It just kept going up and up. The directions were things like look for the unpainted barn, do not turn left or the neighbor will call the sheriff, keep going past the picnic table. We made it, to the end of the dirt road, to the former cabin of German actor Klaus Kinski.
That's what the ad on the vacation rental website called it. We took a chance. It was gorgeous. A little wood cabin at the end of the road, way up in the mountains, a wall of windows. It was all handhewn, a little 70's famous actory but completely beautiful. Big loft with a hickory bed, wood floors and a massive stone fireplace. Cathedral woodbeam ceilings and skylights, tucked onto the edge of a ridge. The only thing was the feral llama.
The owner had asked me if my dogs would be ok with the wild llama that had taken up residence near the cabin. I wasn't sure. Ruby and Pop are fine with horses and sheep but I didn't know about llamas. They barked at Jim Basic's once behind a fence. Timmy isn't really good around farm animals in general. I figured a llama, it's in the woods, it will probably stay away, we'lll just see how it goes.
The cabin was heaven for dogs. 20 acres of ridgetop woods, with many hundreds of acres of nothing beyond it, up on a windy ridge overlooking all of marin. Way up in the top of the forest. Within an hour, the llama found the dogs. I had seen it when we got there, and fed it a carrot. I guess that made it feel safe enough to approach the dogs, and up it came, to the path the dogs were out on, right by the cabin.
Wrong llama. Timmy went beserk on it. He got the rest of the team going. All of a sudden I had a barking dog pack chasing a chestnut colored llama thru the woods.
Pop was the first I could call off. She came running back, I grabbed her and gave her to Gary. Timmy was going nuts and he had Ruby in a tizzy. Ruby I don't worry about, she has good horse sense and wouldn't get under feet. Not so with Timmy. I could see him just running up under it. At first I had run after them, yelling at Timmy. Realizing that was going to get us nowhere, I just stayed quiet and tried to walk out to the llama and 2 frenzied dogs, talking quietly to the llama. Damn llama tried to charge me. I got behind a tree, remembering what the vet that rides with me had said about the razor sharp teeth and ramming llamas she used to treat. So i grabbled a branch and flung it at timmy, hoping to knock him out of the game. Good luck. He all of a sudden got that llama going down the dirt track, towards the woods.
And bam. it happened. he got kicked. I just saw the rest of our vacation flash before my eyes being spent at a Marin emergency vet. It didn't fling him, but rolled him off the road into some brush. Ruby took off after the llama, which was the least of my worries. I collected a dazed but standing Timmy out of the bushes, and carried him up to the cabin. I whistled from the house, and ruby came back, now that the frenzy master was off the chase.
Bad dogs. Timmy was shaking but somehow ok. Covered with burrs. I think llama kicks are up there with pony-not neccessarily lethal or at least orthopedic surgeon quality for dogs.
Llama showed up later on but kept her distance from the house. Wouldn't eat from my hand the next day. She had beautiful long eyelashes, a camel face and long soft auburn hair. And a weird little tail with a shaved looking butt.
After that, timmy stayed on a leash when we would walk around the property. I know the other 2 will call off of llamas now, but not so timmy. He's a little frail now too, and i just pictured him chasing a squirrel off into the woods and not being able to get back up a steep bank so he is staying tied to me the rest of our vacation.
Vacation Day 2
All I did was read books, take the dogs out walking on the property and adjoining properties thru the woods and eat. For like 24 hours. The property was on 20 acres, on a ridge. So we could just walk up and down the dirt track from gate to gate, across the ridge. Over and over. It was actually heaven. You could see out to the Nicasio side of Marin on one side of the ridge, and to the Mt. Tam side on the other.
We drove up a long road, that turned into a dirt track somewhere near Lagunitas, Marin. It just kept going up and up. The directions were things like look for the unpainted barn, do not turn left or the neighbor will call the sheriff, keep going past the picnic table. We made it, to the end of the dirt road, to the former cabin of German actor Klaus Kinski.
That's what the ad on the vacation rental website called it. We took a chance. It was gorgeous. A little wood cabin at the end of the road, way up in the mountains, a wall of windows. It was all handhewn, a little 70's famous actory but completely beautiful. Big loft with a hickory bed, wood floors and a massive stone fireplace. Cathedral woodbeam ceilings and skylights, tucked onto the edge of a ridge. The only thing was the feral llama.
The owner had asked me if my dogs would be ok with the wild llama that had taken up residence near the cabin. I wasn't sure. Ruby and Pop are fine with horses and sheep but I didn't know about llamas. They barked at Jim Basic's once behind a fence. Timmy isn't really good around farm animals in general. I figured a llama, it's in the woods, it will probably stay away, we'lll just see how it goes.
The cabin was heaven for dogs. 20 acres of ridgetop woods, with many hundreds of acres of nothing beyond it, up on a windy ridge overlooking all of marin. Way up in the top of the forest. Within an hour, the llama found the dogs. I had seen it when we got there, and fed it a carrot. I guess that made it feel safe enough to approach the dogs, and up it came, to the path the dogs were out on, right by the cabin.
Wrong llama. Timmy went beserk on it. He got the rest of the team going. All of a sudden I had a barking dog pack chasing a chestnut colored llama thru the woods.
Pop was the first I could call off. She came running back, I grabbed her and gave her to Gary. Timmy was going nuts and he had Ruby in a tizzy. Ruby I don't worry about, she has good horse sense and wouldn't get under feet. Not so with Timmy. I could see him just running up under it. At first I had run after them, yelling at Timmy. Realizing that was going to get us nowhere, I just stayed quiet and tried to walk out to the llama and 2 frenzied dogs, talking quietly to the llama. Damn llama tried to charge me. I got behind a tree, remembering what the vet that rides with me had said about the razor sharp teeth and ramming llamas she used to treat. So i grabbled a branch and flung it at timmy, hoping to knock him out of the game. Good luck. He all of a sudden got that llama going down the dirt track, towards the woods.
And bam. it happened. he got kicked. I just saw the rest of our vacation flash before my eyes being spent at a Marin emergency vet. It didn't fling him, but rolled him off the road into some brush. Ruby took off after the llama, which was the least of my worries. I collected a dazed but standing Timmy out of the bushes, and carried him up to the cabin. I whistled from the house, and ruby came back, now that the frenzy master was off the chase.
Bad dogs. Timmy was shaking but somehow ok. Covered with burrs. I think llama kicks are up there with pony-not neccessarily lethal or at least orthopedic surgeon quality for dogs.
Llama showed up later on but kept her distance from the house. Wouldn't eat from my hand the next day. She had beautiful long eyelashes, a camel face and long soft auburn hair. And a weird little tail with a shaved looking butt.
After that, timmy stayed on a leash when we would walk around the property. I know the other 2 will call off of llamas now, but not so timmy. He's a little frail now too, and i just pictured him chasing a squirrel off into the woods and not being able to get back up a steep bank so he is staying tied to me the rest of our vacation.
Vacation Day 2
All I did was read books, take the dogs out walking on the property and adjoining properties thru the woods and eat. For like 24 hours. The property was on 20 acres, on a ridge. So we could just walk up and down the dirt track from gate to gate, across the ridge. Over and over. It was actually heaven. You could see out to the Nicasio side of Marin on one side of the ridge, and to the Mt. Tam side on the other.
03 August 2006
Without a Ranch
Without a ranch, things seem boring. I guess life was ok before I thought I had a ranch, but I miss it so much. Every time now I meet someone or talk to someone with their own ranch I am thinking about their ranch and if it was mine the whole time I talk to them. Like the knit cap rubber booted morgan breeding lady. I don't really want her ranch, ok, yes I do even though I'd have to redo everything. But it is probably obvious to people that is what I'm thinking when I talk to them. I don't think I'm a good liar. I am pretty transparent. They just talk to me and see ranch stalking lust whore written all across my face.
The dogs are excited to go play ranch on our vacation this weekend. The wild llama has taken up residence near the cabin! That is all I know about German Actor Klaus Kinksi's former cabin residence in the mountains of Marin. The team is certainly going to take up llama chasing. And in Boonville at Sheep Dung ranch, the team is certainly going to run and run and run to their little leg's content. I plan on sitting around a lot. Just pretending it is like having my own ranch, except the horses are away somewhere and I don't have to feed and clean and fix their waterers, just lounge around yelling at the dogs to get away from the llama. We are paying lots of money to sit around in tiny houses on other people's ranches. That just sort of shows how pathetic we are.
The dogs are excited to go play ranch on our vacation this weekend. The wild llama has taken up residence near the cabin! That is all I know about German Actor Klaus Kinksi's former cabin residence in the mountains of Marin. The team is certainly going to take up llama chasing. And in Boonville at Sheep Dung ranch, the team is certainly going to run and run and run to their little leg's content. I plan on sitting around a lot. Just pretending it is like having my own ranch, except the horses are away somewhere and I don't have to feed and clean and fix their waterers, just lounge around yelling at the dogs to get away from the llama. We are paying lots of money to sit around in tiny houses on other people's ranches. That just sort of shows how pathetic we are.
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