04 February 2010

Today, a little fitness tip from our pal, Otterpop.


In the last couple weeks, random people have commented on how svelte Otterpop looks.

"Has she lost some weight?"

"Otterpop looks thin. She been working out?"

"Otterpop is getting skinny!"

Otterpop isn't really fat. Just unfortunately tank shaped. And she's been running less, although not as less as her vet wanted. Agilitying less. Eats the same amount. My dogs all eat this much food. Can you see my hand? It's all crinkled up like I'm holding a baby hamster. One baby hamster's worth of dog food. Not raw food. No lamb stomachs and turkey necks. I'm a mean, abusive dog owner that way. They just eat dried up old dog food from a bag. They love it. We're all ok with this.

So, as far as I can tell, there are 2 possibilities to her new flattering figure. The first being, the fatter my ass gets, the better hers looks.

Crap.

The other?

Otterpop does a lot of tricks. In case I ever need to send her off to live with carnies, she'll have a job skill. One of them being a little handstand where she kicks her back feet up against a wall or something, way up high above her head. Funny little party trick, amusing to watch, she thinks it's funny.

Except Otterpop, apparently having the mind of an ape, found a better use for this trick once she learned it.

Tools. Isn't that what makes monkeys different from dogs? They can use tools?

This is super embarrassing. I can't even believe I'm writing this down. She would kill me if she knew. Please don't tell Otterpop.

Both my girl dogs like to pee like boy dogs. As much as possible. Use your imagination. If you're still with me because I just wrote about how my dogs pee. But Otterpop's handstand trick gave her uncharted possibilities in this department. She sees a tree, does a handstand, and pee's like that, as high up on the tree as she can. I guess this makes her look tougher and bigger, next dog that comes along.

It's a little weird and disturbing to watch. No. It's a lot weird and disturbing to watch. I have to look away. It's just not right. But, now I think, has stomach muscle toning pilates effects that are making me wonder. Every time I see her do this.

Otterpop on to something here?

11 comments:

Paul Anderson said...

Don't try this at home, or in public for that matter.

leerie said...

Otterpop's Pee-lates almost made me shoot drink out my nose.

team small dog said...

OK. Oh no. Oh my. Leerie said Pee-lates. Oh god.

Only the mens are even able to comment on this post. All the dog agility ladies, now going to snicker and point at me and Otterpop.

Pee-lates...

Mary said...

I cannot believe you made me laugh uncontrollably on this dismal day. Well, yes I can believe it as you do it time and again.

team small dog said...

Please do not let on to Otterpop that you know this about her. She has enough problems as it is. I feel like Jon and Kate Plus Eight now...

terri said...

I laughed so hard, I think I pulled a muscle! Then the comment about peelates--priceless!

Anonymous said...

Otterpop's just getting in touch with her inner bush dog.

http://www.arkive.org/bush-dog/speothos-venaticus/video-12.html

team small dog said...

OMG, anonymous Bush Dog video sender, this is EXACTLY it. I had never even heard of the Bush Dog until now. I am enlightened, and still disturbed.

Mary said...

Wow! Otterpop even sort of resembles a Bush Dog. This explains everything!

terry said...

OMG! I have a female dog who does that. I have always called her a circus dog :) I have to watch because when any of the other dogs are sniffing something they may get pee-latte on their heads. LOL

Amy Carlson said...

"....making me wonder"??? Now I am starting to wonder - How's that working out for you?