Susan Garrett says if we want to be really good at agility, one thing we should do is be all, screw it about what anyone else thinks about us. Usually I can do this, it gives me the power to belt out tuneless karaoke with Supremes dance steps in dark basement bars. The other thing we should do is buy the closest thing to a magic agility wand, her sports psychologist friend's booklet and webinar that will set our mind free to become champs.
Except I didn't want to look like a toothless, redneck Deliverance cast member when I do agility, so I spent all my money on getting a fake front tooth. Then it had to get yanked out because turns out, it was a bad fake front tooth. So then I wanted to get another. I won't say that it's going to be like a magic agility wand, actually those are priced WAY more reasonably than fake teeth. But I think all my agility friends might appreciate me having all my front teeth, instead of smiling the creepy Deliverance smile all the time.
But here's what's cool, maybe even cooler than magic agility wands. Going into the fancy dental surgeon office, being handed blue and white pills and orange syrup and being hooked up to a little machine. And then you're out. And then asking for MORE to be more out, and they are so lovely there at the fancy dental surgeon's, they give you more pills and syrups, in the cutest little miniature plastic cups.
And before I knew it, somehow I was home and I have lots more pills to take and my face is swolled up like a balloon. Now I get that feeling once again, I can't explain, I do not understand. Oh wait. Sorry. Pink Floyd.
Anyways, the report is that Otterpop is a rotten therapy dog for anyone but me. Because now that I needed a therapy dog, she burrows in and growls at anyone coming near me and thanks to the magic wand pills I had no idea what was going on all day to tell her to knock it off. And now I'm missing a tooth again but have a funny popout one and the promise of a new one, one day, one day in the future of more days like this one.
Susan Garrett reports the collective WE of dog agility ladies have spent more than $5000 on dog training to get good at agility. Remarkably close to what I spend so I can have actual front teeth! I am going to try to turn this one into a magic agility wand though. Since I won't be buying any Canadian mental management tips at this time, maybe some of my Canadian friends will whisper their favorite bits to me, and I'll hold off on posting any toothless, bloody mouth stitch photos instead, righty-o?
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
4 comments:
I've been missing a tooth for almost a year but it's not up front so I've been wondering whether anyone really even notices. I did all the consulting about how many thousands of dollar signs a replacement would cost and I thought I'd rather just live with the gap than to take 3 years off of dog agility. Maybe 4.
Am I on topic? Hope that when the drugs wear off you're not in pain.
Yes fake teeth cost oodles of monies!!! If you can live with the gap I say go for it! My gap was smack in the middle and I could not live with it. I am paying big time now for the price of vanity!
In the alternative, you could have simply chosen to move to Louisville for the year and instead spent the money on agility . . . hope that makes you chuckle since that's how it's intended!
Hope you feel better very soon!
Beth & Lexi
I think I still would have scared off the good people of Louisville without my tooth. I would have had to move to a holler in the woods.
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