Speed traps. IE, like when a cop sits in the bushes by an apple packing plant where, yeah. The speed limit MIGHT be posted as 35, but EVERYBODY drives way faster there. How do we feel about groveling? IE, "Please please please please pleeeeease Officer, PLEASE do not write me a ticket?"
Leaning out of the car window. "PPPPPLLLLEEEAASSEEEEE!"
The officer was a stout lady with a very, very short, and might I add, unflattering haircut. She said, "I'll see what I can do." And then walked back to the squad car and wrote me a ticket.
I have learned not to take pictures of cops.
Tarantulas. I think one of the nice things in my life right now is that I do not have to worry about tarantulas in the house or falling from the sky on to my head. Or the heads of loved ones. If I remind loved ones of this fact, sometimes loved ones are not as impressed as I and turn the sound back on the guys playing tv sports.
Dog agility. I do not think I used to wheeze and huff and puff from running dogs like I do right now. I believe that there was an exercise program and it has fizzled into nothing. Into shambling, actually. Susan Garrett said we should get a little round trampoline and bounce our ways into size 4. I am pretty much just trying to stay pleased about lack of tarantulas (see above.) There isn't much bouncing or running, just huffing and puffing. To this I say, hell's bells.
The lazy bum in me keeps thinking, every day as I rush out the door, life is too short to work this hard. What happened to all the fun bits? The doodling? The painting studio? Huh? Huh? HUH?
Which do you think is worse? A boring, whiney blog post, or Kate Gosselin and hair extensions having a new reality show with her pack of something something tuplets?
This also, could be a nice thing to discuss.
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
7 comments:
Kate Gosselin is WAY worse.
Sorry about your ticket. I was lost in a strange city a few weeks ago and got pulled over for supposedly running a stop sign (I was turning right, not going straight, and I didn't endanger anyone). I never even saw it. The stop sign OR the cop. $190 fine and 2 points on my license. Ouch.
I concur. I'd rather read lots of whining than watch Kate Gosselin. Lots of things I'd rather do than be exposed to Kate Gosselin in any way shape or form. Shudder.
You might have had a chance with a dude cop. Lady cop, no way.
I got a cell phone ticket about a month ago. Embarrassing and freaking expensive. No points at least, but made up for by the fact that I am officially now one of those asshats in the Cell Phone Ticket Club.
I had just hung up my phone. At least she was just CHiPs with a radar gun and bad eye sight.
Here would be a good reality show:
Tarantulas fall out of the sky into Kate Gosselin's hair.
And then the show goes off the air.
Tiny matching kids, we'll no more see.
Unless next they try agility.
How about an episode of Reno 911 with tarantulas falling on cops heads? While they are arresting Kate G and she's talking on a cell phone. Maybe the cop should ride a unicycle?
If TV was more like that, maybe i'd turn it on once in a while.
Argggg! Kate Gosselin, what a waste of perfectly good oxygen....
Hmm, hair extensions using tarantula hair.
(Posted by a hair-challenged, dirt night participant.)
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