07 April 2008

Today you are getting an advice column from someone that probably should not be giving advice.


Sometimes, I get actual emails that ask me questions. I do love answering questions! I am always concerned that anyone would actually want my advice. But here is a question today from Sarah:

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OK Captain TSD:

I am writing b/c I need your help. In fact, we *all* need your help. Like a lot. I am a walking agility trial fashion faux pas. What Not To Wear here I come! Not seeing any inspiration at trials, that's for sure. Please blog your thoughts on this! I am 5'8", and an athletic horse girl (but not anorexic) I have lots going for me, but my agility look really sucks ass. Bad wind pants, dog t-shirt, etc. I want to be cool like you and TSD. What do you wear when you trial? I know you have your totally awesome red goretex shoes (but maybe you were being facetious about those?) Please be my role model!

Sarah

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Oh Sarah. And the *all* you talk about. I am very excited you called me cool but here is the problem. Number one, I am pretty sure the new cool word is not cool. But I am actually not sure what the new cool word is. I always say cool too. Just like saying Cowboy Up to someone who is whining is not cool because what the Cowboys actually say is Buck Up. I just learned this. Number two, I have the same exact problem as you and I am actually not cool and I wish I was. I have a whole bunch of friends that are cool. When I try to study their ways and figure out how I could be more like them, they have all told me the same thing. Dog agility is never going to be cool.

But Sarah. We see the coolness potential in dog agility, right? The fashion end of it is a big part of the whole uncoolness thing is my guess. I do worry someone would select me to be on What Not To Wear too. They are so mean, that Stacy and Clinton. And they would throw away my favorite shirt and make me buy an ugly jacket and skirts with seaming and wide legged trousers. So we just have to unlock the fashion mystery code ourselves.


Let's start with the footwear. I thought those red shoes were cool, too. And I laid out some major dollarage for them. Then people sort of pointed and giggled and I even found out they were possibly not even cool in England, where they were from. So they pass the function text but the reality of them on the feet sort of gives an overall impression of Not Cool. Maybe if they were combined with the right thing. Jeans from the Gap and a dirty polar fleece jacket probably equals Not the Right Thing. A red tennis dress with pockets and piping and a little black hoody thing over it? That is maybe the right thing! If you have nice knees.

Not nice knees equals no tennis dress or sporty little golfing shorts. Including the plaid ones. Because I thought that we could take some fashion Q's from tennis and golf. Ladies do this and it involves running but also looking nice. Wait. Do you run in golf? Maybe if you throw your beer bottle into the giant windmill and they come out to arrest you. There are those nice, big grassy fields in golfing and I am pretty sure I would run if I did golfing. I know my dogs like riding in little electric golf carts.


A lot of times I wear cargo capris or my black sporty pants with a stripe down the leg. They feel at least inoffensive to me, but not very cool. And then Carson I believe once said cargo capris are the devil's work.


Sporty Spice used to look nice in sporty pants but now she looks like this.


Here's a picture of me that was featured in Clean Run magazine a long time ago. I wish I could tell you I was the featured star of an article about my super star dogs, but it was some random article about pointing the right way and I was very surprised to see me in there. At least I was a good example of pointing and not a bad example of pointing. But I had a grass stain on my knee and very old jeans on. But that is one of my favorite shirts. And stripey caps are a good way to hide the gray. Because our demographic, let's face it, involves gray hairs starting to sprout on heads. If you are not there yet, you might be soon. But this is maybe not cool.


Here's a link to some really bad videos on youtube from the DAM team trial in December where I am wearing the all black look. That is black sporty pants and a black sweater and even a black striped hat I think. That look sort of evolved out of the cold weather. Also you can see Otterpop do a teeter bail in one of the videos! So this looks sort of inoffensive and warm but maybe not cool.


Um. Sarah. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere here maybe. I did see you mentioned a dog t-shirt. I think there is a lot of room for improvement in dog t-shirts. Gigantic cartoon dogs, and montages of 3 dogs of a certain breed with that breed's name written in a large script at chest level may not be a good fashion statement. Also wind pants. Are your dog trials in very windy places? If not, you might want to switch to something that is not a wind pant. In the cold, I also tend to just wear a good pair of jeans. Like not the ones from the Gap. Unless you are just so hot even those look good on you. Otherwise, you may have to upgrade to a more better tailored expensive pair.


Accessories? I have this unreasonable attachment to clogs. Possibly not cool. Can accessories override that? Don't underestimate the power of a good accessory. Large purses are in this season and super useful for either a bunch of stuff for dogs or even just shoving your smallest dog in if you want to go into a casino.

OK. To sum it up. I think that I have barely scratched on the surface here. I am pretty sure somewhere out there is someone WAY cooler than me with some good dog agility fashion tips for us. A little help please?

11 comments:

rebelshope said...

The clog thing MUST be a horse thing. I love them too. Easy on easy off.

RenaB said...

Someone came up to me at an agility trial this weekend and told me that I had to read your blog. OK so I read it and laughed out loud.

I'd love to invite you to join us at the Mighty Mite Small Dog Sports Forum (and please do include a link to your blog in your signature). You'll find a thousand people who are like-minded (membership is free). We'd love to have you:

http://www.mightymitedoggear.com/forum

magnoliafly said...

Sucks Project Runway is moving to Lifetime Network now. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Cat, Tessie, & Strata said...

Project Runway is moving to Lifetime!?! bleh. You ruined my night. *shakes fist*

I've never gotten into clogs, but Crocs seem to be popular with the agility set around here. Really fashionable.

Elayne said...

I too live in constant fear that the What Not To Wear people will show up at my house and throw out all my clothes so I shouldn't offer advice either but I've been meaning to do my own post on agility fashion. I'll get around to it one of these days but in the meantime my favorite thing to wear in the ring on hot summer days is a running skirt (this is my favorite http://www.skirtgoddess.com/products/commitment ) and a running top made from some kind of technical wicking fabric. I'm sure it looks horribly geeky esp. with trail running shoes but it's oh so comfortable in the heat.

I have a pair of clogs but I hate them, so uncomfortable. I think I need some padded insoles for them or something.

Elayne said...

I too live in constant fear that the What Not To Wear people will show up at my house and throw out all my clothes so I shouldn't offer advice either but I've been meaning to do my own post on agility fashion. I'll get around to it one of these days but in the meantime my favorite thing to wear in the ring on hot summer days is a running skirt (this is my favorite http://www.skirtgoddess.com/products/commitment ) and a running top made from some kind of technical wicking fabric. I'm sure it looks horribly geeky esp. with trail running shoes but it's oh so comfortable in the heat.

One other important thing is a good sports bra. This is obvious to me but many people I see running at trials could benefit from this.

I have a pair of clogs but I hate them, so uncomfortable. I think I need some padded insoles for them or something.

Gussie said...

This really cheered me up. I wear football (=soccer) boots for agility and I only just realised they make me look like I have mile-long clown feet.

sclmarm said...

My son has gone horribly wrong in his agility attire lately! He's been wearing his Carhart baseball cap, Carhart coat and ROMEOS! Now who in their right mind wears Romeos to run their dog?!?! We need some fashion help for an agility guy! What if he tries to run his little Jack, Nub this summer in Romeos and SHORTS! ARG! You can see photos of said fashion disaster on my blog.
http://sclmarm.livejournal.com/

Concerned agility mom and sister

team small dog said...

I can see we have hit a nerve here.

Do we like Elayne's idea of little skirts? Those of us with the knees should try this! I think I do not have the knees.

I visited sclmarm's blog and I think your son with the jack russell may win the fashion prize! I think jr. handlers are exempt from this problem just by being teenagers. Maybe they can help us out. I actually sometimes in my rush from day to evening wear end up wearing paddock boots for dog agility on dirt and i have to say, not too bad.

Let's keep working on good ideas here people!

sclmarm said...

I'm glad that tsd approves of Zach's attire...or is it because he runs a small dog...hmmmm:) I will have to put my foot down to Romeos and shorts though!

Capris are for me, because I do not have good knees, thighs, ect for a short skirt! My daughter, who has good knees/legs, prefers capris too. I remember having a conversation with other lady agility people about good bras. They are a must!

Condo Blues said...

In winter I wear jeans & Doc Marten Gibsons to agility practice. My Docs give me great foot support and show my classmate what kind of wierdo would name her one-eye punk rock agility Peke Blitzkrieg.