Olympic sports at which we would excel.

Team wave ball surf rescue with extra points for flatness.


The rules are, when one team member runs out into the surf, lays down, drops the ball and lets herself get smashed with a wave and stares off into space, another member has to valiently dive into the surf and look for the ball. The coach is allowed to wave arms and point and yell stuff like "Over THERE! YOU GUYS! OVER THERE!"

The ball must not be lost at all costs. Unless there's a visible riptide and surf is at shoulder high.


There are extra points for flatness. More flat is more better.


Substitute team members not allowed. Especially ones that run in circles and bark and never, ever, EVER, get the ball. These team members are better suited for cheer squad and are allowed to wave banners and such but should try to avoid getting in the surf and barking at team members actually attempting to rescue the ball.

If this was an Olympic sport, we'd get the gold. Unless we lost the ball. Then that would suck.