Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
11 December 2009
The tv just said that We make the joyousness of the season deliciously affordable, and I thought, I am going to shoot you, tv.
Perhaps you've heard of the Screeeeming Monkeeeees. Because I mentioned them here. You bought some shirts, right? Think nice presents for brothers-in-law. Aunties. Etc. Due to the shirts, this will be Gustavo's first time on a DAM team at the big before Xmas USDAA in the freezing cold Santa Rosa.
Yes, let me explain. I am taking the dogs on a weekend holiday to sleep overnight at a grody Motel 6 by the freeway. So I can spend all day, for 2 days, captive inside a freezing cold covered arena, while an icy cold rainstorm goes on over it's roof. And outside it's drippy walls. Wearing a spiffy, matching shirt with other blue-lipped agility ladies in that holiday tradition we like to call DAM team,.
I believe that at this same dog show last year, I uttered the words, "I have never, ever been so cold in my entire life." You did not hear me though, because my whole face and body were buried under 17 parkas and my teeth were chattering so hard it sort of sounded like iiiii hhhhhhhhhnnnoooot eeefffah pin soooooo ccccccccccld nnn my lfffffff. I could not even use pointy fingers whilst running courses because I don't know where my hands were.
All this and more!
Well, really, not more. Did I mention Motel 6? For some reason, Motel 6 is like Disneyland for dogs. I don't want to know why. Do not suggest reasons. I am turning off brain now to these thoughts.
It's actually sort of festive and jolly in this weird way that agility trials can be.
Gustavo's DAM team partners are 2 of my favorite agility friends with very cute 16" black and white dogs, a sheltie and a border collie/corgi/something type. Fast Paws Fin has her own Team blog! Their dogs are a little more, shall we say, consistent, than Gustavo. But it's Gustavo! Anything could happen. And he'll look great doing it and just think of all the screeeeeeeeming! Whatever happens, it happens with Gustavo's special flair and style and god just help all of us now.
Otterpop is on a Performance team with a great Jack Russell. This is a lot of runs for her crappy leg, but I really think she's holding up great, and has never been practicing better or faster in her life. Although she hasn't been practicing that much. But she is learning to do a handstand! A barking handstand. There is a lot of holding it together for Otterpop to do to exist in a covered arena with a million border collies for 2 days. God helps us all now.
There's even a night time dinner theater class called Strategic Pairs that will feature a run by Ruby! Anything can happen and there is pizza and beer to go a long with it.
So there you go. Barack Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize and last week signed off on troops to Afghanistan. Global warming global warming gang violence. Technology is moving so fast that it makes me want to roll up into a little ball screaming. There are freaking little cheerleaders in colorful knitwear accessories screaming on a Gap commercial about how cute are these boots. Ho ho ho, I'm going to the dog show.
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