10 August 2009

Today we will sum up what I would like to call The Boring Weekend.

I think August is the month where my mind goes boring. Because in August, you are supposed to go on vacation. You see Team Small Dog being taken on vacation? You seen that lately? I thought not. We go to work. And then the next day we go to work. And then the next day we go to work, and so on an so forth. And I am supposedly the brains behind Team Small Dog and for that brain to function right usually it is useful for it to spend as much time as possible drawing pictures with very thin pens and doing useful activities like, say, glueing many small shiny things on plastic horse carcasses and then taking their photos and blowing them up really large. Or going on vacation. Frank, the guy with the accordian, he has enough time in his day to glue a million shiney mirrors on his pants and learn 2000 songs on accordian. I think every day he is on vacation. He is not boring.

This thing, it is not boring. I believe it even understands the whole new healthcare plan and if a super religious republican person that scares it comes over and starts reciting facts which it believes to be untrue about the new healthcare proposal, it can spout off a rebuttal in no time flat that knocks that super religious republican person flat on their ass and makes them shuffle off going, "I see. No old folks will be offing themselves because President Obama is not promoting soylent green or Logan's run and I won't believe everything I hear on Fox news." This thing is not boring AND is well informed about the facts of politics and doesn't run away from religious republican persons.

This guy, we are pretty sure he is not boring. My dogs might say he is boring. I would say he is not, because I rode my bike over to watch him and his friends who seem to be 17 year old hippies from Canada doing all kinds of tricks and flips and airs above the ground in the circus show. And he has a giant suitcase so he is probably a world traveler, because, duh. Hippie, Canadian, Circus performer. Like maybe is boring but let's just say not. Although my dogs are going to say so because they got left at boring home when I wanted to go see the flips and flops. And bored dogs, potentially howling dogs and howling dogs, I'm just going to pretend not my dogs.

And these guys, we don't even know if any of them were boring but the tote bag guy was a friend of the balancing act circus performer and the tattoo guy had this eye problem and a toddler and the circus guy, well, see above. You don't want to get to close to circus guys though when they're off stage because clown makeup and nasal strips. Just try to stay at least 10 feet back and you'll be ok. But you won't be bored. I paid for the boring later, paid dearly. Because after the accordian show and the circus show and pancakes were involved, I heard there was a tomahawk and knife throwing contest for the Mountain Men. Hola! And I started organizing the dogs because, Hola! That is so not boring to bring Team Small Dog to a Mountain Men festival in the genuine mountains with a tomahawk throwing contest.

But, here's where we take a turn for the pathetic, everyone get ready to get weepy for us. It was hot and I was tired because did I mention the whole go to work go to work go to work thing? And I lay my head down for just a second, only a second and I fall asleep and dream of the day I live in a log cabin with sliding glass doors near Death Valley and have a barn full of old deer mounts and 100 cases of hot glue sticks and a million opals that I've dug up myself with my own tiny hammer and a million very thin pens and big sheets of paper and all the time in the world to sit in the quiet and glue opals on molding taxidermy and also Team Small Dog was there and I had a border collie puppy. And I woke up and the dogs were still bored so instead I took them to the forest and 2/3 of Team Small Dog decided not to listen to what we like to call in the dog training world, The Recall, because did I mention the go to work go to work and apparently that is not useful for tuning up dog training skills and got their skinny and fat little asses put on leashes and marched out of that forest on a walk of shame.


Anonymous said...

Nothing like Team Small Dog on Monday morning. I call it my prophylactic against upcoming week boredom. Start the week not bored with Team Small Dog. Thanks TSD!

Elf said...

Wow, I have exactly the same dream about kind of retiring! Except not in a cabin, a big house. And not near death valley, maybe yosemite. And more dragons and fewer taxidermies (say, approx 0). More cameras and lenses and manuscripts and as to glue sticks, well, let's say none. But the sliding glass doors and even maybe the border collie, yeah, we're so close! And meanwhile, really enjoyed these colorful photos. Woke me right up for a least a couple of minutes.

Alaska said...

And now we will never get to see pictures of small black dogs skillfully fetching actual tomahawks being thrown through the air. Which would definitely not be boring. If it had happened.