11 August 2009

An explanation of Greg Derrett's handling system from inside the handling system war zone.


The internet tells me a lot of things. High Quality Watches! Fast and easy way to enlarge your penis! Acai your answer for losing weight fast! And the war between the handling systems!


You see, my non dog agility friends, we have APHS and GD and the internet says they are at war. It is like Bloods and Crips. The Giants and the A's. Palestine and Israel. Everyone lives together in the same hood but they see things different and then they go to WAR! Since I live in a love bubble of joy and unicorns that barf up rainbows, I didn't even know I was at war, but guess what. I am. I am a disciple of GD and I keep a sharpened spear in my love bubble so when the internet points out to me that my leader and my dog agility boyfriend, Greg Derrett is flawed, you lookie outie.


The super cool thing about a war on the internet is that you have super experts duking it out with non super experts, crazy people, people who can't spell and pretty much anyone who has access to a typing machine that magically hooks up to the other magical typing machines via the magic of cables and super brain waves and rockets. This wasn't invented when I was born. But I would like to point out that cars definitely were. Although cel phones weren't. But the war can be fought here, in the bandwidth, and then you just go out to lunch! Sorry Bloods, Crips, Palestinians and Israelites, and all the other victims of dichotomies that I use here in poor taste. Your wars handled in an uglier and bloodier fashion and I will go bury my head in my love bubble for a while and think nice thoughts for you.


Done.


Every so often, I address an important piece of Greg Derrett's handling system here. I would like to say this is because he asked me to, but I would also like to say that my rock hard ass looks smashing in a booty butt bikini. It is actually because I am supposed to be doing some important work for work on the computer and instead I will address an important piece of Greg Derrett's handling system here.


Today, let's talk about how to change our dog's direction.


When I trained my first agility dog, Ruby, we didn't really get the whole handling system thing. We got about 1/3 of it. We learned many things together and some of those things, not so great. I just ran some courses with her today and while while we basically use GD, I know I tend to run in close with her and stay behind her a bit more than my other dogs and do a lot more rear crossing. Which Greg would say is ok, because he is super nice.

Tangent Alert!
Also, can I just tell you Ruby is SO HAPPY to still do agility at practice and is staying sound and speedy over 8" jumps.
End Tangent.


But a useful thing that we know from his system is one of my favorite things about dog agility. The ability to send my dog out where I want them to go, and lickety split reposition myself in front of them so they totally get it, nice and early, where we're turning. I am such a front crosser. I love to run fast and send and get my dog to turn so nice and tight and smart because I am clear and consistent! Because they see me head out there and they know a turn is coming and all they have to do is jump straight where I tell them and then turn where I tell them. I make it so easy for them!


I think I started to catch on to the total consistency thing with Otterpop. And then I started running Hobbes who is uber super trained to be consistent. And then I trained Gustavo who indeed, has been like training a rainbow barfing unicorn in a love bubble on speed, and had I not had a consistent system for him, god help us all.


When you're front crossing, you just have to make sure that you always get to the optimal front cross position, and that your arm switch motion is not giving the finger and please don't point your shoulders like a crackhead. An important term here is your front cross line. This is not a system you can color outside the lines on. Unless you're running snookers. Or gamblers.


If you are rear crossing because you can't get out there in front in time, make sure you are not running Hobbes because rear crosses make him sad unless they are in the place he likes them. And keep your shoulders straight! Straight! No swivel shoulders on a rear cross. Just step neatly across your dog's path and if it is Ruby, they will be happy. The other dogs will be pretty happy, but they would prefer you are front crossing them. Oh, and make sure no one, especially Gustavo, tries to go in the No Go Zone!

Disclaimers: In case you are from PETA, that's not a real gopher. If you worship at the temple of Linda Mecklenberg, Greg Derrett isn't really a gopher. I don't really have a sharp spear but I do live in a love bubble. And it's not my fault the unicorn was barfing.

17 comments:

HyCaliber Agility & Design said...

This: "The super cool thing about a war on the internet is that you have super experts duking it out with non super experts, crazy people, people who can't spell and pretty much anyone who has access to a typing machine that magically hooks up to the other magical typing machines via the magic of cables and super brain waves and rockets." <---- THIS IS AWESOME. You just made my day.

leerie said...

"and that your arm switch motion is not giving the finger and please don't point your shoulders like a crackhead."

Beautiful. Awesome!

Susan Garrett said...

Oh my Lord this is a crack up. Thanks for all of your efforts. I will have to direct my blog readers to you. Keep up the good work!

Elf said...

I doubt that GD could have explained LOP, FCs, and RCs nearly as--the same. We are laughing and this was a good thing to do before calling our insurance company to ask why our rates went up 40%.

Mary Schultz said...

OMIGOD. Susan Garret commented! She is thankful for all your help!

Amy Carlson said...

You live in a love bubble with a sharp spear? BTW - What's a love bubble? Can I have one? If I live in a love bubble will Susan Garrett read MY blog? I promise I won't carry a spear. Would that be a LM Spear? Would that make me a relative of Brittany.......oh never mind..........I don't even know if I follow LM or GD. I do have one instructor who is a LM follower big time, but I have never studied with just ONE instructor. I like to mesh them all together like spices. Who does that? Study just one system?? Would that make people who study one system those who live in system bubbles? Maybe we could have system and love bubble wars? What would a bubble war look like? Am I getting off track here? I read Clean Run, I read their list, I see what's going on, and everyone definitely just needs their own bubble because I can imagine bubble wars. Not such a bad place to be, a bubble war. Where does one get one of these love bubbles?????

team small dog said...

Righty-o. You are welcome, Susan Garrett, for the effots. Party hats on!

Who does that, just one system? Me! A system is a nice thing to have! Your dogs will thank you. Just follow the gopher!

some random female said...

Wow! I love every little thing about this post!!!! You made my day at least six different ways.

Amy Carlson said...

ACK!! I HAVE to have ONE system? I can't walk like a gopher. I run like Dustin Padroia. What AM I going to do???? I am hoping my dogs forgive me.

Simba said...

too funny...although I am an APHS follower..I DO follow SG on many of her other training philosopies...

Melissa

Marilynn said...

You know? I actually got clarity on the Derrett system that I didn't have before reading your blog! Thanks!!! Maybe the gopher made it easier to picture the postioning of the front cross cue better than Greg did.

thanks for a great morning laugh. Wish you lived in TX and crated next to me at trials so I could laugh alot more...

Marilynn
East Texas

Linda Knowles said...

OMG, You are hilarious. The comment about the "arm switch motion" is priceless!

Linda Knowles
Middle Texas

Elf said...

I've just been told that GD system is dead except for just a couple of noted trainers and everyone else has gone to APHS. I am apparently out of it because I don't know what that stands for. So I googled "dog agility APHS" and this post was the 3rd thing that came up. So apparently you're one of the key web sites about APHS. Congratulations. But I still don't know what it means.

Elf said...

Whew, finally found it. "Awesome Paws Handling System". I feel better now.

LJ said...

GDS is not dead!

At least I hope not, because my instructor of 9 (GDS-based) years is on hiatus and I just observed a couple classes last night which were APHS-based--the instructor seemed very good, but a number of the handling moves left me wondering how the dogs knew what they were meant to do next.

Dogs are smart, and I guess they will learn anything you practice regularly ... one system has worked well for ME because of the consistency involved, and personally I find GDS more intuitive--which allows me to be clearer with my dog.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the funniest agility pages I have ever read! And I've been reading for over 15 years! Not to mention I had a tough week at work and now you MADE MY DAY!

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