Hiking the Suburbia Sewage Trail.

There's another forest near my house, that runs through the neighborhood known as Suburbia. There's not much going on up there in Suburbia, other than it connects the lower Westside to the upper Westside, which is near the University, which is the Gateway to the Forest. The path starts down on the lower Westside. Just look for the chain link fence next to the subsidized apartments. Ends up at the Upper Westside, by the super big houses built on old ranches and the park with the tennis courts by the Jewish cemetary. Suburbia, sandwiched in between.


This forest is sort of different than the real forest. For one thing, it's just a big canyon for suburbia to look down on. A bunch of it is paved. Right? In suburbia, they pave the forests. The foilage is limited to Eucalyptus trees, blackberry bramble and poison oak. And a sewer runs underneath it. It's a convenient location for teenage rebellion drinking. Dude. It's Suburbia.


The sewers flow deep underground. But not so deep you can't hear rushing water. Is that the sound of Suburbia flushing? Suburbia, you all up there taking showers right now? We can hear you, down here in Suburbia Canyon.


Or maybe we can smell you. Sure smells good to Otterpop. Smells so good she's going to roll it all on her. Every manhole cover, like a gateway to fragrant sewer smell. We just do things different in this forest.


There's some brackish swimming holes too. The convenient location to Suburbia somehow means every single person we saw down there was a lady in a jogging costume. And every single lady had exactly 2 labs or exactly 2 goldens, and one of every single lab or golden pair was also mean. And every single one of them had a personal brackish swimming hold staked out for tennis ball throwing dog swimming. They must have good dog washing tubs up there in Suburbia.


He's brackish. I think this is right after they had to all run away from the mean black lab. And you'll never believe this. It belonged to a lady in a jogging costume, and her other one was nice. She makes a point to tell us this after she lets the mean one go after the team. Hey lady. I didn't get a chance to tell you those labs make your ass look fat.


On the forest scale, this one is pretty lame. But it's another chunk of land that I've found, somewhere near my house, where no one cares if my dogs aren't tied up on leashes. So it might stink like shit, but actually, the dogs sort of like that.