09 June 2009

Hiking the Suburbia Sewage Trail.

There's another forest near my house, that runs through the neighborhood known as Suburbia. There's not much going on up there in Suburbia, other than it connects the lower Westside to the upper Westside, which is near the University, which is the Gateway to the Forest. The path starts down on the lower Westside. Just look for the chain link fence next to the subsidized apartments. Ends up at the Upper Westside, by the super big houses built on old ranches and the park with the tennis courts by the Jewish cemetary. Suburbia, sandwiched in between.

This forest is sort of different than the real forest. For one thing, it's just a big canyon for suburbia to look down on. A bunch of it is paved. Right? In suburbia, they pave the forests. The foilage is limited to Eucalyptus trees, blackberry bramble and poison oak. And a sewer runs underneath it. It's a convenient location for teenage rebellion drinking. Dude. It's Suburbia.

The sewers flow deep underground. But not so deep you can't hear rushing water. Is that the sound of Suburbia flushing? Suburbia, you all up there taking showers right now? We can hear you, down here in Suburbia Canyon.

Or maybe we can smell you. Sure smells good to Otterpop. Smells so good she's going to roll it all on her. Every manhole cover, like a gateway to fragrant sewer smell. We just do things different in this forest.

There's some brackish swimming holes too. The convenient location to Suburbia somehow means every single person we saw down there was a lady in a jogging costume. And every single lady had exactly 2 labs or exactly 2 goldens, and one of every single lab or golden pair was also mean. And every single one of them had a personal brackish swimming hold staked out for tennis ball throwing dog swimming. They must have good dog washing tubs up there in Suburbia.

He's brackish. I think this is right after they had to all run away from the mean black lab. And you'll never believe this. It belonged to a lady in a jogging costume, and her other one was nice. She makes a point to tell us this after she lets the mean one go after the team. Hey lady. I didn't get a chance to tell you those labs make your ass look fat.

On the forest scale, this one is pretty lame. But it's another chunk of land that I've found, somewhere near my house, where no one cares if my dogs aren't tied up on leashes. So it might stink like shit, but actually, the dogs sort of like that.


Elf said...

Wow, rolling on the sewer cover is a lot cleaner than rolling in actual cow plop! Or decayed vegetative matter hauled out of the neglected pond in the corner of the yard! Or the putrefied larva I tossed onto the sidewalk! Or if nothing else there's always dog poo. Ewww. Wish I had a nice clean sewer cover in my yard for the dogs to roll on instead.

Robin&Oggi said...

Hi! I found your blog just Googling around and I have a question for you. We heard about this trail from another dog owner and have never been there. Would you be willing to help up locate this trail?

We live over off of Western (Echo Street) and are looking for westside access to this trail from the north side or Highway 1. We were thinking of walking up Western to Meder Street, but not sure if that would be right. I think it would be better to start a little "lower", maybe closer to King? If you could offer any advice, we would really appreciate it!

team small dog said...

The lower entrance is on Grandview, near some condominiums. You just look for a chain link fence path heading up. Or you start at the top, at Meder St. park and walk down to Grandview.

jally said...

Will definitely try nice clean sewer cover. Will definitely have fun

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