13 October 2008

Cuz we're always living back in Dixon.

You know that Camper Van Beethoven song that starts out about living back in Dixon? Circa 1949? We're all sitting at the fountain, at the Five and Dime. You guys know Camper, right? Right? I guess, theoretically they're from the '80's. Played at parties we went to in college. I think I'm starting to creepy reference myself like an old person now because I always go back to stuff from the 80's and 90's. Ancient history. Like 1949 now, I guess. I throw out Snoop Dogg and Kurt Cobain and Madonna and John Doe so casually into conversation that I forget that they're the Oldies now.

Anyways, I saw them all sitting at sort of the fountain when I drove in though town, at 7am on the dot. All these old farmery guys sitting in a diner, at the counter and at little square wood tables. It was still mostly dark out, nothing else open in town, and you could peer into the bright fluorescent light and see all these old guys in flannel shirts and coveralls and John Deere type caps sitting in clusters. Maybe having coffee before church. Or after feeding cows. Or maybe while wives were at church? Or dog agility? A lot of tract houses fill up Dixon now, where the farms were. Having coffee and talking in low, slow tones about the 80's when there weren't tract houses in Dixon? Or back in 1949 and the price of alfalfa and oil and fertilizer and how maybe these days, time to move to a tract house.

Didn't stop to ask. Because I had to pee and was almost at the fairgrounds for Dixon USDAA Trial for October. 2 hours and 5 minutes from my house. Haven't had an alarm go off at 4:40 in a while, to stumble out of bed in the cold and dark and step on hyper dogs that KNOW we're going to a dog show and start barking and I have to find socks and make the coffee and get in the car and drive. Was one of those days, the re-start of dog shows in the winter. Part of my If-It's-2-Hours-Drive-And-Has-Sunday-Gamblers-I'm-There Campaign for the ADCh of Otterpop.

Left Black Beauty at home so Gary would have a Stay at Home dog. She followed him around and whined all day was the report I got. Sort of a needy little chihuahua. Felt sort of bad leaving her, but thought Gary would like a dog friend and also she has stitches and gets so cold. She needs warmer clothes. Totally get the whole chihuahua clothes thing. Already ordered her a warm chihuahua size horse blanket. Which she will need if she becomes a come along to dog agility shows dog. Gary thinks he might just be ok without a Stay at Home chihuahua and that Black Beauty can rejoin Team Small Dog next time.

So the dog show? Pretty fun for the most part. Dixon has 4 creepy hand hewn, life sized wood statues of bulky people holding livestock or bears. That's big plus of dog shows at Dixon. Gustavo is scared of them. And some nice shady trees. But in terms of actual dogs having a show out there for us, one of those ups and downs day. A little bit 5 faulty. Welcome to the life of a generalist. Specialists, they don't get 5 faults. They are special and have perfection in their dog agility. But maybe cannot draw a cow! Generalist that I am, I'll take 5 faulty over really crappy. I guess it's still a good day when I can say it didn't totally suck. No one was really crappy. No one barked at judges or ran away or made up their own courses. Just some errors here and there. In my dreams, I'm a Specialist, although being firmly rooted in the world of reality, realize that I am a great drawer of cows and that's just how it goes for me.

The Wrap-Up:

Gustavo. Q-stavo. Just knocked out a jumpers course again. It was a weird course too, like the judge wasn't sure how to make an easy starters course and just made this sort of bizarre loop around the field with 2 freako strange handling areas. I was stressed out, Gustavo wasn't, Aloha Mr Hand! I made one weirdo panic handling error at this bizarre thing I can't even explain to you without a diagram. A long, straightish tunnel to nowhere, with no great way to get back over the next jump. He didn't care, just did the course how it was supposed to be done and that was that. Was over in a split second. Gustavo. If you ever learn how to do weave poles, you are going to be my superstar. A superstar who likes to sit outside the ring pretending a frisbee is a mousie and bark at hand hewn wood people holding pigs.

Otterpop. Another Jumpers Q. We have like a million now. Is there any kind of black market you can trade these in for Gambler's Q's? Didn't get the Gamble. I was in a weirdo place to send her in and that was that. 5 faults here, 5 faults there, a couple great runs, a real stinker in Pairs involving a teeter bail, which is just so 2006. Referencing her own ancient history I guess. Her oldies station just started playing that song that I thought was over by now. I think it's a Madonna song. Otterpop. Do NOT stay in the world of Madonna. She is DONE! OVER! Adopting orphans with the Pitt family. Someday you will be 5 years old in dog years, which will be 35 in people years and I am pretty sure if you are 35 you do not think about Madonna. 35 year olds out there, I am right, yes? I think we were just done by the teeter moment. Had some fast runs in the morning, had some slower runs later on. Otterpop, it's always a good day if you just go stick with the plan and don't abort off to a secret stealth judge elimination mission. So thanks for sticking with the plan at least.

Ruby. She just did a couple classes. A lovely and speedy Grand Prix with a knocked bar. Augh! The rest of it, picture perfect, my old Ruby out there. A good way to get your 5 faults. Didn't get the Gamble because did the same crackhead thing I did with Otterpop. Otterpop, who actually has distance commands at least had a chance out there against my suckiness of gamblers handling. Ruby, who it's a crapshoot with to get the Gamble on a good day-you know, my non dog agility friends, when you have to do jumps and tunnels and god knows what else located a mile away by yelling at your dog and waving your arms while standing behind a pink line in the grass-just didn't have a chance in hell. Super fun always, to have those non Gamblers days. Ruby had a nice nap while the rest of us were running around and doing stuff the rest of the day. Ruby is pretty happy to do 2 classes a day I think.

Hobbes. Had one beautiful Standard run that I think he might have won. Although Hobbes, you THOUGHT about maybe not plopping down on that table, but then you thought about that Trader Joe's Mini Party Meatball you knew you would get if you did, that I reminded you 18 times about before you went out in that ring, and down you plopped. But don't think I didn't see you thinking about Not plopping. Had a nice fast jumpers run and yep, a nice 5 faulter bar at the end.


Elf said...

Oooh oooh I have a photo of those wood statue things on Taj Mutt Hall! I'm almost getting to where I'd trade you a gamblers Q from Tika for a Jumpers leg for Boost. I think there's great black-market potential there, which seems appropriate for a group of all-black dogs.

Elf said...

Oh, and I also think that it's funny while you were borrowing Hobbes to get a Standard Q for him, Hobbes' handler was borrowing another friend's dog for Jumpers because they haven't been able to get a jumpers Q in months and yesterday they succeeded! Hmm, wonder whether I should send Boost out to do a jumpers run with some other handler and see whether that would break her 5000-run-non-Qing Jumpers streak?

team small dog said...

Maybe Black Dog Black Market Q Trading a new potential business for me. I don't think it's federally regulated yet, and could even involve a hedge fund where I could sell insurance against my dogs getting gambler's Q's. Now I'd just need to find some score table people to go into business with me...hmmm...wow probably shouldn't even joke about that. Just joking here! Ha, ha!

Like the Captain of TSD could figure out how to make a hedge fund. That would be the funny part. Currently spending too much time being a criminal for just walking dogs in the park. Illegal Q Default Swap measures way too complex for this criminal mind. Couldn't even figure out how to put a leash on. So, uh, how many Jumpers Q's you need?

Elf said...

Ha ha of course I was joking too. She says quickly. (Psst, only one.) But of course we could do *virtual* Qs, not real ones. In a Fantasy Agility League. Like those Fantasy Football Leagues, where you aren't REALLY buying Brett Favre who can't even pronounce his own name right, but still you pay real money to borrow his statistics and then you win real money depending on how the real BF does on the weekend. Now we just have to figure out how to convince people to pay real money for Fantasy Agility at the same time that they're paying real money for Real Agility. Hm. Tough sell.