So who called Mr. Kenneth Tatsch and asked him for my plane ticket? Anyone? All you guys that are his buddies? He gets free alternative reporting just for sending us down there. Like Amy Goodman except one half brain less but better pen drawing skills. If anyone gonna get arrested at USDAA Nationals, would likely be Team Small Dog.
So yeah. I guess I could have called him myself, but pretty lazy that way. Takes me 2 nights to watch one episode of Carnivale. Never been a good one to do the ringing up. Would rather take the dogs down to the beach and yack with the neighbors about Sarah Palin. Who has gone from totally amusing freaking out to kind of scaring me. You guys. Serious.
So like drives me nuts when someone from say a shoe company or cool new website or whatever emails me and is like HI! We have this new thing and you can write about it and link to us and OK Thanks! And I'm like, hey, do I get new shoes or a present or what? Isn't that how the mafia does it? You want me to gush about your shwag because I am a nice lady? Hello, memo. Am NOT a nice lady. Am honestly pretty mean and will look at you through squinty eyes and if in a bad mood, you gonna hear about it.
So I will promote these items instead. And never mention your damn shoes by brand, shoe lady, til you kick it out with the new kicks. You want the little drawings from here? You know I used to be a real artist before became a former artist and used to sell items for at least double the prices here? So now's yer chance. Call my old collectors. All 6 of them. You can buy Laura Hartwick art again, only it's little pen drawings on notepaper a lady from the barn gave me. A whole new direction, that's why I'm a former artist. Then when I sell enough, then I can go buy the shoes I guess from the lady that just wants me to PROMOTE THEM BECAUSE I'M A NICE PERSON-ha HA lady, or buy my airstream and take my whole crew to the Nationals another year because I'm retired from work and just sit around and draw stuff and write amusing songs at my ranch. Mary figured out that would only take me another 113 years, so I've started cracking away at it now.
You seen Etsy before? Crafty girls sell their stuff there. So not me. Never been a fish in the right pond, so figured out perfect place to stick those drawings. Have at it. There's more where these came from. I can't even explain to you how much more. A lot.
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
3 comments:
Hey, Laura! I love your drawings! I would really love to have a drawing of your TSD logo on a t-shirt that I could proudly wear. I'll bet your other faithful readers would love to have t-shits, too. How 'bout' it!
The old TSD shirts are still available off my regular website, http://www.teamsmalldog.com, click on the shopping link. There aren't many left, so if you see the size and color you want, grab it.
I'll do another t-shirt run one of these days. I might even screenprint 'em on my own. Right, fiasco ahead! Joel Warner will be involved. Yes, it will be a new design and handdrawn. So all of you guys already sporting a TSD logo shirt or you like the handraw stuff will a new one too.
Yay! Hand drawn TSD t-shirts! With maybe a logo on the front and a drawing of Gustavo, Otterpop and Ruby on the back? Project Runway will be calling you to be a guest judge one day very soon.
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