17 July 2008

A very good question from the mailbag. Mailbox. Emailbox.

So got this email the other day.

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Dear Team Small Dog's Captain,

I noticed you link to homespun yarn and/or knitting on TSD. So, it begs the question, do you spin your dogs' fur and make glorious TSD knitted creations.

Sincerely (not really),

Wishy

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Of course I emailed back not so sincere Wishy right away, not wanting her to fret another day, likely thinking how does she have the time to teach her dogs these amazing tricks and running dogwalks on an enchanted desert island, handspin dog fur, knit glorious creations, and cook fine cuisine, all in a days time? Bitch. Like I could be here, snoozing on the couch, and she thinks I am slaving away behind a spinning wheel? Just not right to mislead nice people.

So the answer is, first of all, the tricks and running dogwalks, I just used Kaki's video for that yesterday. Problem solved. So there's half an hour or so to just take my dogs down to the beach and throw a stick. Fine cuisine? We eat pizza, so I was able to fall asleep to a taped version of the New Project Runway, now on at 9pm when I'm not even home from dog agility yet. A promising beginning with a whiney reincarnated lady version of a Ramone and a guy named Suede. Spinning yarns and knitting creations?

I leave that to my friend Pluckyfluff. Pluckyfluff being a secret internet name for actual name Lexi. I can give her shameless plugs all I want because she is a member of my disfuntional little best friends forever family, husband to Joel Warner who won't even tell me how painful his giant arm tattoo was. Mom of the extremely cute kids you sometimes see photos of here. Marsha Hubert to some of you. And one of the biggest names in yarn spinning and knitting and crocheting around. She has 2 stunning yarn books out, and I highly recommend both. Her yarn is special cool yarn, not for those you you who want to knit a little rainbow throw for yorkies, more for you guys willing to take a brave trip to yarn bizarreness and knit yourself something that renders a massacre on the prairie or a drunken weekend of debauchery involving muskets on a wild horse ranch in the desert.

She taught me how to knit and crochet once. The knitting, didn't even come close to taking. And she got me sparkle knitting needles and everything. Way too much cursing in a 10 minute period to continue. The crochet? Enough to make one weirdly misshapen beenie that looks like of like you crossed a giant strawberry with something you might scrub a sink with and tear off an edge and shove it over your head. Sometimes I wear it. It took me like 6 damn months to crochet. I better wear it. I learned in that time I won't crochet anymore. Might be like some of you, my non agility friends and your dog agility. Just not gonna happen.

Maybe some of you dog people are yarn people? Although I have a suspicion most yarn people have lots of cats. That are not kept as mousing employees but have special hand knitted cat beds and indoor litter boxes. Just a theory of mine. Maybe I'm wrong. If you are someone with dogs who also walks in the handspun world, you enigmas of the yarn universe you, go buy her book. Because we're banking on Lexi to become the rich and famous one so we can all retire riding her knitted sweater dress/hand reconstructed vintage concert tee/conceptual scarf ends to a comfy retirement on a ranch somewhere.

3 comments:

Mary Schultz said...

I MISSED the first new Project Runway???? How could I do that??? Shouldn't you have warned me? Or I am getting you confused with my own personal assistant? Boy am I going to scold her! Oh, let's make it a him. Boy, I'm going to scold him! I'll remind him to send that check to pluckyfluff for the ranch in this week. Oh, wait. I might have spent that check on the CPE entries for Sunday.

Deb said...

I have it on TiVo, Mary. Come on up and we'll have a glass of wine. See, you really don't need that male assistant! Send him here to give me a hand. The dust is atrocious!

Condo Blues said...

Hand knitted TSD doo-dads. Wow. The closest I get to creative dog fur use is dumping it into the compost bin after I brush my kickin' one-eyed agility Peke.

I added you to the blogroll on my blog because TSD kicks ass! Small dog agility rocks.