28 July 2008

Hello and welcome to my birthday party.

So I was going to replace my carpeting in the spare bedroom/office/storage unit with these Product Placement cool carpet tiles. Fast and easy. Looks really good. Urban. Modern. Cool and hip. Instant good taste. Come sponsor Team Small Dog carpet tile grand poobas. A Sunday with no dog show and time for fun and breezy home improvement.

First had to pull up the old rug. Got pee stained during the last part of Timmy's life. Was just some beige carpet, covering circa 1968 grody vinyl. Who needs that in a house when you can have carpet tiles in a plethora of colors evoking mossy woodland clearning and build a taxidermy room? There will be branches. I envision a squirrel shelf running the length of the room with taxidermied squirrels in realistic and threatening poses.

I thought maybe a nice job for one day. Tear out and install. Happy Birthday to me and I'll have a new floor. So all the stuff stuffed into that room, I stuff in all the nooks and crannies and all floor space of all our other rooms. Which are a bedroom and a kitchen/living/dining speck of space. So you walk in our house and you are sure the crazy have landed as you squeeze past STUFF. Have I mentioned once or twice our house is the size of the cupholder in your Ford Explorer? Like one Labahoula puppy laying down takes up the entire living room and kitchen and no one can walk even a single step?

So how did I end up with a pile of sheetrock and insulation and a truck full of wood and the surfer guy from next door standing in there sort of shaking his head but luckily out of work this week? Hope there's no swell. Trying to put the lid back on all the cans of worms me and my crowbar opened up. Involves walls. The topic today was the forest carpet and now I am missing a wall. And am embarking on a journey named A New Closet.

How's that carpet look you ask? Mossy woodland clearing? Ready for the squirrels to come home to nest?

Can you see that? It's my stink eye. Stinking right into your eye. Let's just not talk about carpets right now.


Elf said...

I can SO picture this, stink eye and all. This is me, laughing out loud. Been there. This is the dogs wondering what's wrong with me now.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Laura!
Deb, Jim, Kip and Kacie

Lisa Nelsen-Woods said...

I think it's some sort of karnic home improvement law that DIY doesn't go as planned. Ever. Oh sure, the directions make the project seem like it's easy as 1-2-3 and when you think it's going well and easy - blam! You find the unexpected thing and it makes your project not so easy 10-11-12. It happens to me every. single.time.