Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
01 March 2008
A useful thing for Buck Owens.
I know yesterday I was all whiney. I want to go on vacation. And my idea of vacations involves ghost towns and biscuits and deer heads. But I was thinking about it. Do I really want to go to Bakersfield? Bakersfield is no Panguitch or Tonopah or Rhyolite. Why did I say Bakersfield?
You all saw There Will Milkshakes, Right? I mean Blood. Wait. Oil? There will be Blood Oil?
It is the movie with a good typeface. And Daniel Day Pierced Ears won an Oscar. And it was based on true ideas yet fictional about the oil boom happening around Bakersfield around the turn of the century. They didn't actually film it there. They used Marfa, Texas. But I was thinking about Daniel Day Lewis's earrings. I mean pipeline. That would run through the mountains near Tehachapi and come dumping out around Santa Barbara. To make him some more money to go to Italy and become a shoemaker and pollute the ocean and win an Oscar! And Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, he is actually in Marfa, Texas on his polo pony ranch. Except he is really Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones and he had hair, not earrings, at the Oscars. But when he was Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, that was actually in Marfa. Everyone pretty much went to Marfa this year except me. Which is REALLY where I want to go.
So somehow this is how I got to Bakersfield. Which looks like Marfa. And Buck Owens. And the Buckaroos. And I am thinking, how do I keep making Gustavo be a super fast little Buckaroo? Because he loves to run and I have to remember training him that I have to keep agility doing what he loves. So I tried singing Buck Ownens songs to him in the weave poles. While we both ran really, really fast. As if we were running across the desert in Marfa. And he is almost beating me through now! Thanks Buck Owens, in your giant crystal palace in the sky! Sorry PG&E guy who I totally freaked out by doing this and you just wanted to come up the driveway and check the meter!
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3 comments:
Dear Team Small Dog,
That was really good explaining! I totally understand the connection between vacations, dear heads, oil pipelines,Marfa, Bakersfield, Tommy Lee Jones and good weave pole training now! That PG&E guy should have known your driveway is No Country for Old Men.) My only technical question is, "Why is she pointing to the trap door to the crawl space under her house?" Is that where she hides training treats? Are there rats under there, and is Gustavo-Buckeroo also a Rat Therapy Dog for people with severe Rodent Phobia?
Well, the technical term for that door is the Puppet Door. If there were evil, possessed puppets hiding anywhere, it would be inside that door. We do not have rats thanks to many dogs and cats. I believe the technical reason I am pointing there would be called "Jazz Hands." Not unlike Spirit Fingers.
I've been to Panguitch though it was about 10 years ago and we only stopped over overnight on our way to Bryce Canyon. I remember we ate at a diner that we thought looked scary on the outside but turned out not to be. Or maybe it was the other way around, I can't quite remember but either way I'm pretty darned sure there were deer heads involved.
I've heard of someone who sings to their dog on the table to get it to lie down in trials. A snowboard instructor taught me that trick too, to sing a stupid happy song to myself like the theme from 'I Dream of Jeanie' when I'm careening down the bunny hill and terrified out of my mind. I do it on my mountain bike too. Hey, whatever works.
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