Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
16 November 2007
These witches are just stuck in my brain.
Poor Ruby. Even though Heidi might APPEAR to be offering praise ("So Chic!"), her demonic presence plagues her in all walks of life. It's like when you just don't know when the demon is going to get you and it might strike at any time. I wish there was a way to strike the witch from her life forever.
Everyone has their demons. Gustavo still worries about pumpkins. Otterpop carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, and it manifests by her loud, control freak musings and uncontrollable big mouth. Timmy has to deal with the spectre of Lila if he shuffles around in the park, where I have to worry about the new official law of a $120 ticket per dog for letting them walk around there, like they all have their entire lives. Kaching. That could come to nearly $500 per walk. Nice!
I would like to see Hillary take all of them on. The State Park System. The City of Santa Cruz. Heidi Klum. All witches in general. Pumpkins. You go Hillary. Just tell them. Let 'er rip.
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4 comments:
Wow. I just walked the dogs in the new official State Park where it is today illegal to walk dogs off leash. There were 3 sets of homeless camps already. I had to face the ethical dilemna of, do I let them sleep in their blankets undisturbed since this is the only place they have to sleep, or let 3 raging running barking dogs go leaping on and around them in their little camps hoping they find a new place to sleep? After 1 guy looked me dead in the eye and dropped his pants so I could see all his naked dangly man stuff, I may go with just letting the dogs wakem up and drivem crazy.
eeeeuuuuuwwww. double yuck on homeless dangly man stuff. let those little dogs do their best... just make sure they don't find, and roll around in, the toilet.
LH
"Who To Root For on this Season's Project Runway"
Today, I had a really fun time in Dee's class; as usual, I spent most of the time telling Ariel to do sequences wrong. My strategy is to start out great, and then when everything is starting to go too fast, my hands and arms just float up and start waving around like some semaphore (is that spelled right?) guy on a combination of speed and acid. Ariel's strategy, at this point, is to start doing every obstacle in sight because she is pretty sure that one of them is the Golden Obstacle which releases the magic ball of chasing fun, and since I have pointed to them all in the last .3 seconds, it's not like she isn't justified in this tactic. Then we get in trouble for self-rewarding. It's really not self-rewarding, though, because it's not like Ariel particularly wants to run up A-frames or jam her nose into the dirt, or jump over the three nearest jumps as fast as she can; for Ariel, I think it's more like playing the slots. And she's gonna pull that lever 'til she hits the the jackpot of ball throwing.
So, I'm writing because you may have missed who to vote for on this season's Project Runway. (And also because you are in Turlock and I am being totally understanding of your failure to get up a 3 a.m. to write today's Team Small Dog blog entry before you left, that a lot of people are waiting for.)
You have to get past the sort of funereal silvery black rose and the boring black dress part (which I can't even remember). It's the arm loops! Absolutely Agility Accessory for Novice Agility Enthusiasts Whose Hands and Arms Float Up and Wave Everywhere When They Should Be Being Zen! You remember! The model *could not lift her arms*. All the judges laughed about What Women Will Do For Fashion. Missing the Point! Root for that designer! Send her e-mails about losing the weird silvery rose flower thing, but More Novice Agility Accessories!
Yes Mary you are right the arm loops! You can make your own for winter out of leadropes! I need one of these actually just for one shoulder at a time when I "give Hobbes the finger" and not pull hard enough with my shoulder and I turn him wrong. I am very glad you see the perfect connection between Project Runway and Dog Agility! Everyone, Mary Schultz gets A+! I had to get up early to actually go to work, I NEVER get to go to both days of the dog show, until the December team show. Because of Work! And I am the boss and everything! So I miss out on many, many runs. Hobbes may not have done his table with Rob. I have half the chances to Q as all the other kids! I get up tomorow at 4:30 to drive quickly to Turlock. Um, I'll think of something to write about now.
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