28 October 2016

Fixing the stays, a voter guide for dogs.

Proposition 001: CRAZY STAYS

The stays disappeared at the startline. Which was weird, because the stays are well used and well liked in other places, albeit perhaps places not as crazy as startlines when another dog ran just before, very fast. Around the agility stuff. Currently, the stays had been working at the beach, in the forest, at the dog park, at the agility practice except for when they don't, near the horses, and at home except for sometimes when the broom is too sweepy.

Notice those little excepts? Ruh roh.

What would this proposition do?
Crazy stays mean that Banksy has to stay no matter what crazy thing is going on. This could be me, Gustavo and Otterpop running down a hill that goes to the creek throwing sticks and screaming and barking, us running down the hill to the beach, staying in one place if I am throwing the GODDAMN INSANE MAKING DEFLATED BASKETBALL OF MIND BLOWINGNESS up and down or even touching it, sweeping the broom, doing a course with a dogwalk with Gustavo, or watching the dog in front of her do agility right exactly in front of her.

What would it cost?
Pretty much nothing. Just a lot of time. Time, it's on my side. Yes it is. Dum dum de dum.

What do supporters say?
This proposition is supported by:
Myself, Team Captain Miss Laura. I say, "Let's do this. Fast. Before Cynosport!"
The other dogs. They say, "Ha ha ha ha ha we are running down the hill barking and she is on a stay!"
Ruby. She says, in her quiet mind, Banksy should never bump into me because I topple. Crazy stays will help this problem, especially during broom sweeping time.
My dog agility pals. They say, "Shut up about the stays and train them better, Hartwick."

This proposition is opposed by:
Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association. Get her out of that tire.
The NRA. How does this even threaten their guns? They think it threatens their guns.
PJ Reynolds Tobacco Company. Vape on. Get that dog her nicotine.
Big pharmaceutical companies. Banksy on a stay takes money out of their pockets. They need MORE MONEY. Get her off that stay. Or at least up the price, every stay should now cost 20% more to the consumer.

Show me the money:
I am fixing this for free. Taxpayers have no cost. They may have to hear me screaming. They may see Banksy releasing with very excited and wild abandonment. They won't see any mean and cross voiced Laura going, YOU! STAY! at a dog show. This proposition is a win/win.


Tammy Moody said...

Haaa, this is such a great post. I hvae total faith and belief that you will have the stay licked into shape by next week! I'm so excited for you to have such a super fun, awesome, sound, fast dog to run. I'm looking forward to your reports.

team small dog said...

You would think, that I would have much better stays than this since I took your online Stay Class!!! I think I need to take it again!