31 October 2012

In honor of our nation's best dental practice day.

Today I am smiling because I have a spider on my head. And because for dinner I will eat Halloween candy in tiny bite size single servings over and over again.

Gustavo is smiling but he has saggy lips so you might not be able to tell that. The dog dentist, who gave me a dog toothbrushing tutorial today, told me that he's only missing 19 teeth. If he is indeed a dog, and not some other kind of mammal or rodent or mammalian rodentian cross, that means he has 23 still lurking somewhere in there. I only see about 6. Apparently hiding.

Along with his lost teeth, he has lost the ability to be a good dog. He has reverted back to Gustavo 1.0 specialist of Artisanal Escaping. Run wild be FREE, little buddy! Slip thru the crack and GO! Then doing weird things like escaping just to the top of the picket fence of his dog run, and sitting there under the umbrella for a couple hours like an owl. Some days though, really escaping, like under the fence and dashing off to places unknown where there could be dangers such as Meat! Protein rich Hooves! Cats belonging to the asshole guy!

I am trying to solve this with very much more early morning forest fast running for tiredness at work, like in the old days. Much. More. Fast running. Earlier.

Hopefully this has nothing to do with ammonia injected brain activity due to liver misfiring. And just jubilation at pain free mouth bones where the teeth have been eliminated.

He is a really good dog when tricker treaters come, though. So is Ruby. Otterpop is a really bad dog and has to stay in a crate. Can you hear her barking? I get to eat all the Reese's peanut butters. I will throw her a chewie when she stops.

Today is not a crisis, it's a festive holiday of rotten teeth. We hope everyone cleaning up their hurricane damage is not having a crisis. Poor eastern seaboard. We are sorry global warming picked on you this time. It gave us a small earthquake the night the Giants swept the World Series. As a reminder. Then it went east and got you.

1 comment:

Elf said...

I handed out little plastic jack-o-lanterns this year so that I wouldn't be forced (of course against my will) to eat any leftover peanut butter cups.