Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
26 March 2012
Team Small Dog and another edition of Men Who Do Not Participate in Dog Agility.
Maybe this is not the case near your house, but near my house, there aren't a lot of mens who take part in the righteous sport we like to call dog agility.
I have some lady friends for whom this fact is an ultimate bummer. Because they would enjoy the company of a gentleman in the form of a boyfriend except all the time they are at dog agility and there is that problem of not a lot of mens there.
There are some, because some of my best agility pals are mens, the ones that aren't the ladies. Hola, gentlemen! Of the men of dog agility I can think of, they are pretty much all married. Just not a lot of available, single dudes at agility around here.
I am not sure if this makes the men feel weird to be outnumbered. At zumba class, there are only a few men and they tend to wear things like hand crocheted, nipple exposing ensembles or sparkle leg warmers over ripped up fishnets. Oh, the super old guy that brought a box of vegetables and handed them out to the ladies at the end of class the other day (I got a mushroom and a bag of green onions), he just looks like he's going fishin'.
I don't think those guys care. I've never noticed any of my agility pals care.
But maybe this fact scares off potential new men of agility?
So I think everybody should try to first of all, get more men out there enjoying dog agility. I am not really sure how I should do this. I have invited my husband who is super awesome in all ways except for the weird fact that he doesn't like dog agility and every single time I invite him, he's all, speechless and looks at me like I have 3 heads.
He did come once a long time ago and was sitting on the grass by the startline eating a taco and Otterpop ran out of the ring to see him because he always shares his tacos with her and he was mortified so he has a trauma and he will probably never, ever come again.
Jeez. I didn't yell at him or anything, I thought it was funny when Otterpop totally exposed my crappy dog training to leave the ring for my huband and his taco. Who doesn't need degrading humblifying sometimes? And also even if he decided to like agility and then he got his own dog, probably a either a cockapoo, a weiner dog, or Gustavo, and was going to start coming to dog agility which is good because, hooray, some more men in dog agility, but then that still doesn't help my lady friends because, ladies, he's taken.
Also, I think he truly, for some weird, crazy reason, doesn't like dog agility.
How can people not like dog agility? Especially, at least up here in the middle of the left edge of California, men?
If anyone happens to see Steve Buscemi, maybe ask him.
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5 comments:
It is true Laura! At least in North America, so....why is the gender issue different in Europe? Maybe a field trip for you?
Did you know this?
David Lee Roth = Herding! sooooooo close!
Maybe someone should explain that herding and agility sometimes go together?? Mr. Roth might have a Mrs. too, but maybe he's got lots of herding dude friends?
I think Diamond Dave would LOVE agility. Maybe he knows Steve Buscemi. I bet there are lots of guys in herding? Because less spandex? Although David Lee Roth used to also LOVE spandex. Who can explain this?
I think Steve Buscemi prefers wood chippers to dog agility
Ahh, we all used to love spandex. Today? Not so much.
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