05 November 2010

I think it's going to get a little bit sweaty now.

My friend Tash is super hardcore racer. Her "little bike ride" usually involves up and down several mountains and would kill most people. She has no tv. She picks up her organic vegetables every week in a big box and eats every last one. You know what else? Tash likes to win.

When I told her about my Project, right away, she knew what she had to do. Because I told her some of the things on my champion list. It keeps getting longer and longer, all the stuff I need to do to become a Top Handler by way of the Village.

I can't tell you my whole list of stuff for champions. Because it's a Project. And if I end up a champion by the end of it, then I'll sell you the Secret of Championness on DVD. Quick. Limited time offer only. And that's not all!

Just kidding. You'll find out all the secrets, for free, right here on Team Small Dog. And if I totally fail, and regress to an even crappier handler, it's still free! You can't lose!

OK. Here's a preview. One of the the things on the list is flossing. It just seemed to me like something Top Handlers would want to do.

Would you pay free for that?

I've always had a problem with successful business plans.

It takes a village, and from her hut, Tash, who doesn't mess around with such frivolous things or lose focus and sit around and draw little pictures in her notebook when she could be taking ACTION, went out and found us a personal trainer.

Since neither her or me can actually afford a personal trainer, we're sharing her. Along with our friend Donna. So it's sort of personal. For the three of us. OK. And it's only once a week. This champion thing, really expensive.

This morning, while you're reading this, if you're reading in the dark and no one else is awake, not even chickens, or even turtles, I've already driven my limping along car, which, by the way, is going to have it's engine partially rebuilt next week with nice new valves and hopefully no smoke puffs, to a gym. There's no steep hills on the way to the gym. Because my car can't drive up steep hills right now. I may only drive it very gently, wearing white kid gloves.

At the gym, I'm going to get strong legs for faster running and a not wonky knee and maybe even a flat stomach.

OK, maybe not that. But maybe. I am going to venture a guess that the flat stomach part would include eliminating the hand hewn, artisanal ice cream food group from my diet.

We'll see how it goes. I've never really been in a gym, except for a long time ago when I joined one, and the badly sponge painted walls were so aesthetically offensive to my sensitive eyes that I never went back. That was that.

But the fast running. A thing we seek. And me and some of the village are going to go get trained.

6 comments:

agilityfoot said...

I love cliff hangers. This is almost as good as your court appearances.

Jodi, eh? said...

Yesterday, when I flossed my teeth, my bridge fell out. Flossing may not be for everyone. Sure, it may sound glam but it sure don't look it when you're missing a tooth.

Mary said...

Wow, this just reminded me that I forgot I was going to try to floss Ariel's teeth because, even though I have bought two dog toothpastes and two dog toothbrushes, I've only used each once because Ariel and I really aren't into the brushing dog teeth thing. But *I* actually LIKE to floss my teeth and do so every single night of my life and is probably the only thing I do every single day or night of my life come to think of it. So maybe Ariel will like it too, and hey, then we will both have mastered the first step of Team Small Dog Championship Plan!

team small dog said...

Mary great job! Keep it up!

Jodi just keep practicing hard on that flossing. It's ok to be missing a tooth-I am going to be missing my fake front tooth starting on Monday but I will keep flossing. That's just what champions do. I think.

If they go to personal trainers a lot, they probably have very sore asses.

Susan said...

I look forward to learning the steps to be a Champion! I also like that it's free! Thanks!

Amanda said...

A personal trainer is smart, and sharing one is even smarter. I think you are well on your way to Champion-dom! (Is that a word? Oh, well, it is now.)