02 February 2010

The dictatorship of the proletariat-A short history of oppression under a cruel and evil and heartless dog agility lady.

When we went to practice yesterday, there was a stiff criteria for anyone that wanted to do stuff like this. And trust me. EVERYONE wants to do this.

However, under my heavy iron thumb, behind my iron curtain, anyone named Gustavo that wants to do fun agility has to prove a high level of responsibility, a level that never, ever runs off into the forest to chase critters. And, he must demonstrate zero meltdowns of monkey screaming, ripping apart of soft crates, pretty much anything that makes my blood presure rise, in my guilty until proven innocent, fascist regime.

When we go to practice in the beautiful forest field at Heart Dog Agility, Gustavo now needs to demonstrate rock solid crate games on a 20' long line before he gets to do any agility. As far as he's concerned, this is probably about the same amount of fun as running around the field. He can blast in and out of his space pod all day. This was one of his first party tricks from way back when.

Running around in a forest, whether there's an agility field there or not, is now prefaced with wholesome activities such as More Recalls Than You Thought Possible. Either In or Out of Space Pod, But Nowhere Else. Heeling Like in Fancy Dog Show Except While Running. While he's dragging along his nice long rope. The goal is that these activities become as cool and dangerous to him as chasing deer or racoons or smurfs or zombies or I don't care what, through the woods.

Today, proved himself innocent and got to practice a little bit of agility at the end of it all with that blasted black long line finally unclipped. And he was only sentenced to jail in the car once all morning for a single monkey screaming incident during Otterpop's turn. A benefit of this seems to be he's channeling the critter chasing drive into his agility. He was insanely fast. Yet, with more and more control instead of just flat out mayhem. Hopefully we're on the right track here.


Debra Kay said...

I am about to unleash my own revolution on certain beings who will not remain nameless (Molly/Solo).

Molly has decided not to eat her new brother Solo. However, she has decided to rejoin him in that puppylike-Who me? state......for now.

Nancy Gyes said...

Thank you for good laughs Laura H. I never read your blog in the morning when I am in a relatively benign mood, I wait till I am REALLY tired of working at my desk, and sort of cranky, and then I take a laugh break at your blog.

thankyouthankyou, Nancy

team small dog said...

Righty-o. Hopefully you are laughing at my visibly ugly waterproof sneakers, Nancy and not laughing at the hysterically hopeless dog training antics. I sure do try to have trained dogs.