08 January 2010

Some important planning for the Big Dog Agility Challenge if by planning does sitting under a thatched roof and swilling tiki juice count as planning?


So I was planning outfits for what to wear for running Susan Garrett challenges. I am assuming Susan Garrett is doing the same. Because she is going to run the challenges too, right? Not sure what she's going to wear yet.

Planning. You see, kittens? Every process has to have the planning.

So right away, I realized that the guy with the net in the OfficeStaplesDepotMax the other day was dressed JUST LIKE VINCENT PRICE the time that the Brady boys tried to return the tiki statue to it's rightful spot in the haunted cave located a short bus ride away from from their luxury Waikiki hotel. You remember, right? The dissheveled, mad scientist in khaki safari wear circa 1972 look.

This seemed like a very important clue. You know how I always like a sign before I proceed with anything and how much I like clues. And cowabunga, I believe we have a sign! Just you watch, now how all the pieces fall into place.

Vincent Price meets the Bradys was sort of like James Franco being on General Hospital. I name drop this because James Franco was in a digital media class I taught at CalArts in another dimension. The dimension of 1995. So fashion inspiration begins at disheveled Vincent Price, or perhaps James Franco twisted soap opera serial killer as performance art? And, not to rule out, how about Alice in a mumu? The mumu, festive, yet flattering for Alice the maid who was likeliest of all Brady's to excel in dog agility, and all of these, leading me on the journey for what is the optimal outfit for dog agility challenging.

Raise your hands if I've lost you. Because in my dimension, I assume EVERYBODY knows every Brady Bunch episode by heart. Righty-o? This is sort of a given assumption of my life. Telling, all you chin scratching head nodders, are murmuring right now.

So for our challenge, Susan Garrett is like the tiki. I think it's name was Oliver. And the guy with the net is Vincent Price. And theoretically, that makes me Bobby Brady but it being my reality and all, actually I am switching over to Marcia. Marcia. Marcia. Because her hair is so very, very smooth. Except wearing Greg Brady's jumpsuit. Although maybe Nancy Gyes wants to be Marcia Marcia Marcia and I should be Jan Brady. Who kept her pony at my barn when I was a kid, if you can bear a name drop number two. Or three. Or four. Depending on how you count them.

Although Jan actually was more of a sweater wearer, as opposed to mini skirt Marcia. Really though, a white belted jumpsuit works for just about any type of Brady.

Except Alice. See above for mumu info.

James Franco, he's just going to stay in another dimension. After 1995 he ascended to a different reality and his path veers oh so far from dog agility. Although we wish him well.

So I think what I'm getting at here, raise your hands if I've lost you, is that the tiki made Greg wipeout in his big surf session. Cowabunga. But when everybody realized, hey, it's just a tiki, then all peace was restored to 1972, except for the little part when America finally got out of Vietnam which of course incited even more chaos and the vets came home to no mental health care and then it was Watergate and the hippies switched over to disco inferno.

Basically, a turbulent period involving both patchouli and backless jumpsuits.

Is this an indicator of the turbulence we have yet to see in the dog agility world? The net guy from the other day, homeless Vietnam vet with no health insurance and why wouldn't he need a net? Tiki torches at twilight a nice way to enjoy a jug of tiki juice? Wait. What was I going to wear? These, my friends, are just some of the details that we must examine on our factfinding mission, to help Susan Garrett help all of dog agility while helping Gustavo by helping Laura help Gustavo. It's all about the journey.

In closing, we offer up some exciting dog agility challenges from the beautiful and talented Nancy Gyes, AKC World Team coach and legendary dog agility superstar. Behold:

A sporty little number that she uses to kick tushes of potential World Team members. Nancy says tushes, I am just going to say it. She kicks asses.

A really, really hard European Standard course from one of the judges of World Championships this year.

A tiny yet evil one Nancy likes to call Nightmare Weaves.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tiki Torches at Twilight - Frizz Fuller....name drop from SoCal.

Mary said...

Did you steal that Tiki cup or did you get the Hulu to let the dogs in?

Agile Jack said...

This might be the best laugh of my day:

"Alice the maid who was likeliest of all Brady's to excel in dog agility"

susanna said...

Glad you are planning your outfit...wear a skort...maybe Susan G. will lend you one of hers!

Elf said...

After reading this particular post, I am very much reminded of trying to teach people CPE score tabling. In which we all end up very confused but much more educated.

MuMu said...

Swirling a tropical drink is training for almost anything from high jumping to finals.