Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
05 January 2010
Maybe actually, Susan Garrett, do you know any Exorcists?
At the risk of sounding like a drama queen, I shall take a deep breath and tell you about practicing yesterday.
Oh no, I won't. Because I might sound like a drama queen. If you knew me, in real life, you would probably say, Oh Yeah, that Laura. One of least Likely Suspects of being a drama queen.
If you knew me, on the internets, you might think the Opposite. Oh that Laura, and her little Gustavo. Always one thing after another. The two of them, the QUEENS of drama.
So I will say this. Two dogs, able to do some ball crunching, gut flattening, twisty, pully super fun euro courses. Good GOD, the fun we had. Lordy, the Slovenian pole entries. The speed and the happies to be out running in the sun. The good times of having a litle break and the not lame running that can be had after one! I want the girl dogs to have happy, not lame legs Forever!
I brought out our new friend Robot, another story for another day, and we did some Distance Challenges! Super rad gambles. We had a blast. Ruby rarely practices gambles anymore, back in the day she did just fine getting masters gamblers Q's. Maybe not the super hard ones, and wasn't even really trained to do it. Otterpop, now highly trained to gamble, and just suffering from my Herman Munster disease, would have been winning us high stakes bills from gangsters, the way she gambles when I bring out Robot. The fun! The bliss! The agility! Attacking Robot!
And one dog saw dead people on the field.
Oh Gustavo. At least there was no bolting and running a couple miles and finding friendly strangers who now LOVE you to pick you up in their car and let you ride on their laps to your neighborhood and then let you hang out with Nathan the Surfer our Next Door Neighbor until we came frantically home to find you safe and sound.
No. Today just shaking and shivering when standing on the field, and barking frantically out at the trees. The kind of dead people where even the juiciest, most tempting treat gets cancelled out. Trembling, then nosing frantically in the grass as if the magic answer lay far below the earth and perhaps you could tunnel out. Then nose to the air, and shaking all over, and horrified barking at the trees again, ears pinned back flat and a look of absolute horror across his face.
There was no agility in Gustavo's cards today. No getting ready for UKI. No poles. No beloved tunnels. There was crate games. On a long leash. And he found a little bit of joy running in and out and touching his little nose to my hand. And this made the grass and the trees no longer horrible and some treats again edible and then we went home and made these really easy to bake, no possible way to screw up cookies in a jar that my mom's best friend from Catholic girls turned Los Angeles air hostesses with a jalopy days, gave me for Xmas.
I burned some of them. But some of them, turned out ok. I let Gustavo sit on my lap for most of the day. He is a pretty sad dog right now, and can't let me out of his sight. My new shadow. Like dead people could be around every corner and I'm the one armed with garlic, crosses, silver bullets, and flamethrower.
Personally, I don't see any dead people. But boy oh boy, can I just say, deja vu?
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2 comments:
Aw, needing an exorcist isn't a nice need. I like needing things like wool hats, instead. Although, Roscoe would rather need a beach towel. Spur would share his exorcist, but I asked him to do that and he just looked at me with those squinty eyes Little G is wearing today.
Oh dear. Poor Goo.
BTW, as far as I know, Heart Dog Agility is indeed a No Dead People Zone.....
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