23 July 2009

Today, Nancy Drew tries to solve the mystery of the furry purse.

The other night, all the dogs were left alone for a couple hours while the humans went out.

When we returned, Gustavo's Special Furry Treat Purse (Exhibit A) had been removed from my normal lady purse (Exhibit B) , and had been decimated, desicated and detonated all over the living room floor.

Now, this was not an expensive or exotic item, I actually found it in a trash can at a dog show. It's just a little nylon bag with white fur attached and a nice, sturdy red strap. It's stinky and the fur shreds, but I can put Gustavo's treats in it and he attacks it like nothing else, especially when I drag it around on the end of a leash. Half of poor furry purse though, had been shredded and and stripped and made bare of all threads. An explosion of red and white and fur all my couch and living room rug. I believe because a little piece of cheese had been left moldering in it, and this is the kind of thing I carry around in my purse, which is not furry or stinky. Just a normal lady purse, when normal ladies carry around stinky fur bags with pieces of rotten string cheese rolling around inside.

Who had the audacity, the stealth, the cojonoes, to carefully remove this item from my purse, on the table, and nothing else, then eat through fur and heavy duty cordora nylon to get at a little piece of cheese?

Suspect No. 1, certainly likes her food, but is weirdly trustworthy around snacks and things belonging to humans. Like she has a code. You know how those codes go. Gangsters and Pirates and Guys have them. But Suspect No. 1 has cojones. That's for sure.

Suspect No. 2, has impeccable manners in most everything except involving food. Also can be extremely stealthy and shrewd, and has the brain power to engineer heists like none other. Is not normally audacious, however stealth and snacks could override that.

Suspect No. 3, is the owner of said purse, but seems highly unlikely to do something like tracking an item and actually locating it. Like is not the rocket scientist of the group. But, you know what? It IS his purse.

So how did Nancy Drew solve this mystery, assuming Nancy Drew did solve the mystery?

Nancy Drew, it turns out, is a pretty crummy detective and just goes for the whole TEAM policy like all for one and one for all and everybody guilty until proven innocent and everybody is equally in trouble and yelling and so forth and stomping around and scowling. Nancy Drew can't figure it out. Nancy Drew said a lot of potty mouth words at the whole guilty team and got out the vacuum and that was just the end of that. Maybe some of YOU are good at mysteries and can solve the crime. Nancy Drew gives up and Gustavo has to play with a zip loc baggie now.


Anonymous said...

You got the literary reference wrong is all. Hercule Poirot. *Murder on the Orient Express*

Elf said...

Sometimes these mysteries can be solved by accompanying the suspects when they visit the doggie euphemism and produce bits of red fabric or such. Depends on whether any actual swallowing occurred.

some random female said...

I would really, REALLY love to have a red furry treat purse! Don't suppose you happen to know whether there's a place they can actually be bought?

team small dog said...

I don't think I ever have another like it. One of a kind. A gift from the trash gods. I think it would be very easy to make if you can sew.