Laura: Ruby, you are a complicated and mysterious dog. A dog of great beauty, and bravery, and noble in citizenship. Yet also stealthy, crafty and shrewd in your ways. You totally proved the power of dog training by going from a weird, feral thing that wanted to eat other dogs to my super star of white glove manners. Plus you have the fastest a-frame of all the small dogs, and you love riding patiently in Timmy's bike basket while the other dogs have to run in the street. And you always. ALWAYS. Without fail. Bring back the tennis ball.
Ruby: Alas, I am but a demure servant of your words. You are too kind. Also, I need to make sure, this is an Otterpop sanctioned interview?
Otterpop: This interview is with Otterpop.
Ruby: I grow weary sometimes.
Laura: Do you ever wish Otterpop would find other hobbies that don't include you?
Ruby: Hark. Is but beneath me, beneath this vary chair, lie in wait a beast of tremdous spirit, who possibly can kick my ass should I speak in candor?
Otterpop: Everyone talks only to Otterpop. TO OTTERPOP.
Laura: But you guys are essentially, one big happy family? TEAM Small Dog. Every night, everyone on the couch together. All day, laying in your big kennel together. Just last night, tennis ball game with 3, count them 3, tennis balls. Uh, Ruby? Ruby? You in there? Hello? Are the witches speaking to you right now?
Laura: Uh, Ruby?
Laura: So sometimes Ruby goes off to another place. This is when the witches crawl in and whisper to her. Flies also speak to her and can take her there. She'll come back.
Ruby: Dogs do not speak. Nor grant interviews. So I may speak with the witches, but you either take generous liberties with the truth or perhaps it is you who speaketh with the witches. Just saying.
1 comment:
Best interview ever. Tears rolling down my cheeks.
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