Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
24 July 2009
Agility homework exercise, except maybe don't try this at home.
So I am an unapologetic follower of the Greg Derrett agility handling system. I also am an follower of the HBO series Entourage, Canadian heavy metal, and Keanu Reaves. Full disclosure. I use the system to try and be a nice clear and consistent handler so that my dogs don't completely screw up. But for years, and years, I've had this little problem that I haven't been able to fix.
Finally, the other night, my super agility pal and instructor and owner of Hobbes the trained dog who doesn't like handlers to be inconsistent or to screw up, he sort of sighed. After I screwed up again. AGAIN. I was trying to pivot in to CLEARLY EXPLAIN to one of the dogs to pull in towards me and not run out and take a jump I didn't want them to take. He sighed. He once again suggested, perhaps use a little less finger and try to actually pivot.
How many years has he given me this advice? I tried the exercise again. And again. He sort of waves his finger around.
"Not the finger! Don't give the finger."
I am always giving the finger.
"Too much finger, not enough shoulder!"
Finally, Rob is all, "You need to just go home and do this in front of the mirror." He sort of twisty pivots around. Like I thought I was doing, for the last HOW MANY YEARS?
Let me get this straight. I now have agility homework, and that homework is to learn how to get all twisty but twisty in a clear and consistent manner without giving anyone the finger, in front of the mirror.
I think I always had this problem of making teachers exasperated.
In grad school, I believe the term, Unteachable, was used more than once.
I believe Karl Ewald thought this was terribly funny, and then just had to start doing all my art for me.
In high school, I believe that preferring to be at the barn instead of the school contributed to a certain amount of academic exasperation.
At least I show up for agility class.
And I am trying. Right? Twisty pivot, right?
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7 comments:
are you sure you aren't flashing gang signs? ;) Tammy
I'm of the two finger pointer, being told to stop that by my instructor and human KIDS! I told them you never know when you might need to quick draw the other finger out and shoot your dog out to that jump, tunnel, etc.
I'm wondering how you'll be able to run and do some of those shoulder moves. :)
Boost is very concerned at the very odd distorted strangled choking chortling sounds I am producing and with the tears rolling down my cheeks. Best handling instructions with photos ever!
So much like class last night, "Ellen, you have to ROTATE." "I DID rotate! I DID!" "You have to MOVE." "Are you kidding, I was moving faster than I've moved in my whole life!" "No you weren't, you were standing still and staring at the wrong jump which is why she took it" "I swear I never looked at that jump!" Gah. But I have no photos.
Point away, twisty lady! It's OK, if Goo is like The Spurminator, just say GO and don't expect him to take the three obstacles in his path, just the one, but NO he takes those three obstacles and then instructor says.......why did you say GO, when you only wanted the one jump???? Well......uh.......cuz it was a go to that one jump? Weren't we working on a four jump extension grid the day before?? I am so cunfuzeddddddddddd.............
But, it's fun, right, really FUN!!!
Oh man. What if I've been flashing gang signs all this time? God knows WHAT I've been telling Otterpop to do.
I know! You've been using gang signs to tell Otterpop to take over the world! That explains a lot about her obsession with CONTROL!!!
Valpig
The right instructions have to be followed when doing exercise.
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