01 June 2009

The USDAA Witch Trial at Turlock, as manifestoed by Otterpop.

She put us in the car and it was dark. It was my preference to stay in the bed with the one that is so much less demanding and also has The Vehicle With Fine Leather Seats, but she put us in the car and obviously it would take a long time and be for the agility due to in each hand She holds one large mug of the coffee. Which equals two mugs because Otterpop can count as high as anyone would need to count.

Otterpop knows about these agility so called Witch Trials. Where historically, they ate hallucinogenic rats and they saw the witches then they burned all the She's at the stake. Otterpop knows this and knows many other things. Now the Witch Trials do not burn any She's and they wear skorts. This Witch Trial is in Turlock, which Otterpop likes somewhat because it is where the houses where no people are. Otterpop does not like people and houses without people are JUBILATION.

It is the USDAA and it is the goddamn team and goddamn sparkle and goddamn ariel are on the team with Otterpop but Otterpop does not have to look at them. Actually aside from humans and dogs, Witch Trials are not as terrible as Otterpop wishes She would believe. This one had some things Otterpop did not hate.

Otterpop will count these now to the number Eight. The following list is called Positive Attributes.

1. Otterpop kept Ruby in a box the entire time. Ruby had less treats and less FRISBEES and Otterpop believes Ruby should always have less therefore Otterpop more.
2. Otterpop did not allow Ruby or Screamy G to ever get the FRISBEE and many, many, many times Otterpop had the FRISBEE and WOULD BE THE ONLY DOG WITH SHE.
3. Agility with frisbees happens at the jumps out on the grassy park near where Otterpop keeps the other dogs in their cage.
4. She did not go in the Witch Trial with border collies, especially the hated one that stares at Otterpop and Hobbes who She lets touch Otterpop's FRISBEE and always GAH BARK SMOOSH about the Hobbes one.
5. The climate was temperate and many times Otterpop could step into the vessel of wet water then roll in grass then run and there was a FRISBEE.
6. She hands out a lot of finest cheeses at Witch Trial and carries FRISBEE around much of the time.
7. Screamy G was scared of tarps and a photographer and the freeway.
8. Otterpop did allow one new person to pet her at the witch trial and the person has red hair and used the correct method so Otterpop did not hate this person.

Otterpop will also now count things that were terrible of the Witch Trial. Otterpop will count these now to the number Eight. The following list is called Seether.

1. There is agility without FRISBEE with judge standing near Otterpop's personal space bubble. Even if judge is so called facebook friend of She, she is terrible because she stands in no FRISBEE zone and looks at Otterpop. At least this one would get out of Otterpop's way and NOT STARE AT OTTERPOP.
2. If Otterpop is allowed to speak freely on Otterpop's feelings of judge, Otterpop gets put in the car and Otterpop believes Ruby and Screamy G and border collies touch Otterpop's FRISBEE during this time so Otterpop did refrain from speaking freely which Otterpop HATES.
3. Dogs and humans are walking, running, speaking and are not invisible.
4. Humans touch Screamy G and pet it and it just loves that and it has turns of agility and Otterpop wants that others not do things that Otterpop HAS NOT SCHEDULED.
5. Otterpop did hear various humans refer to Otterpop as male gender. Otterpop mostly tries to not listen to voices of humans and instead sings a brain tune that NO ONE KNOWS BUT OTTERPOP and wishes the humans would disappear.
6. On various occasions when Otterpop was having a nice time having FRISBEE agility before stepping into the no FRISBEE zone, humans start telling She some burden of unwanted advice about Otterpop or confounded teeters and Otterpop demands undivided attention of She especially if the hell of stepping into no FRISBEE zone is inevitable.
7. She's all GAH BARK SMOOSH to other dogs and Screamy G and humans. In fact She spends too much time speaking to humans when Otterpop believes She ONLY MUST SPEAK TO OTTERPOP.
8. The goddamn team of Otterpop somehow had the Q no matter how hard Otterpop tried to do Otterpop's worst and OTTERPOP WILL NEVER LET ON WHY OTTERPOP DOES THIS.

In conclusion, Otterpop will take this opportunity to inform the public that Otterpop one day, WILL RULE THE WORLD. Otterpop does not like you all, Otterpop does not hate She and wishes that she could see She AT ALL TIMES forever including during ruling of the world. Otterpop also does not hate The One Who Yells at Television and has Vehicle With Fine Leather Seats, Joel Warner, Laia, That Blonde Child, Girl at Barn. Possible Otterpop does not hate that red hair human that used correct method to greet Otterpop but is undecided.

Postscript. Not from Otterpop. Otterpop ran Team, Ruby nothing, Gustavo Adv. Jumpers, Gamblers and Starters Snookers, where he could be nowhere near the teeter. Otterpop, as is now usual, was manic and fired up and having a swell time until the second she set foot in the ring, would run slow but consistent enough, then want to go run around and do warmup jumps crazy fast as a reward. Otterpop seems relaxed and happy and not hating things and wanting to run crazy fast and show off her trained dog agility skills unless she is actually inside the ring. I am continually confounded. Gustavo had a good gambler's run, and then got sort of scarey freaky about a couple things as mentioned above by Otterpop. That gambler's was a good run. He got spooky during the other ones, though, I get anxiety and really, we both unglue. Otterpop's team Q'ed but not due to any lightening speed from her. Goddamn. Ruby really seemed fine just hanging out and not running at all. It was a nice, small, relaxed trial and I like all my agility friends. Thanks for everyone who understands my frustration with these trials and why I can't make them go like how we train.


Elf said...

Congratulations on the DAM Q, otterpop and She!

vici whisner said...

I don't care what anyone says, She and Otterpop are the BEST! Even if I'm NOT one of Otterpops fav 5 and Otterpop gave Fin the look of death ....we still love to watch the Pop run!

'Susan Paulsen said...

I will glady serve Otterpop when she rules the world! Hail Otterpop!

Karen said...

Heh heh...Otterpop did great...even if I, the evil judge, had to actually LOOK at her! :) I actually got your team moved up a couple spots in the standings. As I was going over the ERB's, I noticed that Otterpop had not been given a Jumpers score...your scribe sheet had been marked as an E. We got that changed and it move your team up a couple placements! :)

team small dog said...

It was nice to have you as the judge, Karen! Otterpop never tried to bark at you once! You have a good contact watching space bubble! Sorry we did not have a chance to say hi! I am sorry you did not get to see speedy Otterpop, just crabby, paranoid Otterpop.

We heard all the team placement drama later-thanks for noticing that!