Team Small Dog tours the Southland, and their social director doesn't even schedule in a single teeter totter ride.

Did you even notice, Team Small Dog away missing?


To the land of 1,000 Lakers. A million. A billion. Thank god they were winning. I think LA not a fun place to go if the Lakers aren't winning.


There was some howling.


But minimal. And they only barked at one officer of the law, one Coast Guard representative, and one guy with a completely restored '65 Barracuda. I am happy to report that I was not arrested and no one had to call the rest of the Coast Guard. Because I have learned not to photograph officers, Chinese shipping containers in Homeland Security harbor zones and stepped away carefully from the Cuda.


The small dogs toured places like the squirrel garden at Whittier College. The park in San Luis Obispo on the nice little river where the homeless people drink under shady trees. Hendry's Beach in Santa Barbara. The path in Palos Verdes where the old guy feeds many, many cats near the No Dogs beach. Beaches with rocks instead of sand and not one, not two, but three seal carcasses! Grassy fields with trucks screaming by on I-5. The cute downtown in Ventura where the CUPCAKES are. Multiple times, they were forced to act like dogs you see on tv and stroll around city streets and parks and sit outside pizza joints and not eat pizza or passerbyers. Thanks to the power of dog training, they totally did this. Or the power of something. Sheer exhaustion?

Hey, helpful travel tip! Always keep your cellphone in your pocket and have it on your dog's nametag because if you happen to have a dog that can squeeze through rat sized holes in fences, he might take a tour of the apartment house next door and make friends with all the surfer guys who are having a busy day drinking la cerveza on their deck. So you could get a call, all, "Duuude, I have this little black dooooog here and he's eating my catfoooood and I live on this busy street and..."

And when you go to find him, a super tan guy with puka shells might be feeding him catfood. Hypothetically speaking.


There were other, important reasons for our trip. Not naming names, unless your name is Laia and you got a Masters Degree!


Or like if you are Joey and you turned one years old and luckily have a brother who can do the whole candle blowing bit for you.


Or like the steaks! Wait! Team Small Dog, did not steal ANY steaks.

Really, were relatively mayhem free. Aside from the whole seal carcass thing. And I'm sure that the Harbor Police would appreciate me passing along the info that Homeland Security High Alert means EVERYBODY, even dog agility ladies, can't just drive around in our great Port of Los Angeles taking pictures of shipping containers. They do let you keep your camera if you just get back in that car nice and slow. But with the non stop weekend of graduation ceremonies and luncheons and brunches and birthday parties and going to the park and the pizza joint and the hippie cafe and the cupcake shop and the dog beach and finding sneaky places to run dogs and getting up at 5:30 and freeway driving, all crammed into 3 days, really too structured for us all to get into much trouble.