27 February 2009

Some poetry, inspired by true life, which makes you realize, Laura so not a poet.

German shepherd lady, near the sea.
Tiny lady, like a flea
German shepherd, great big teeth
Shows them to us, like we're to eat

Today she holds him, on her drive
Lunging at us, we're near his hive
Little lady, so very sweet
Doesn't get it, small dogs for eat

According to Mr. Shepherd
Good for desert, with Dr. Pepper
She's hanging on, for dear life
Walking there, like death by knife

Some fine day, if she ever lets go
End result of this, don't you know
German shepherd will be winner
My small dogs, tonight for dinner


Clueless man, on the beach
Giant akita, within reach
Of my small dogs, tiny and fast
Not really sure, how long they would last

If I didn't make like a quick run
Back up the stairs, no more fun
For the little dogs who are like, wow
How come we had to go just now?

Because akita man, kinda stoned
Clueless that akita wants the bones
Of little dogs, to chew then swallow
Would be no small dogs, left tomorow


Mean dog on a flexi leash
Trying to get down to the beach
Wants to eat an Otterpop
Oh my god, this has to stop

So I holler, My Dog's Not Friendly
Lady back atcha, My dog's name is Eddy!
Eddy loves all Your dogs
Yeah gonna smash em flat, like mummy frogs

Hey just shorten up your flexi cord
Please stupid lady, take my word
Eddy has one thing on his mind
A little dog he wants to find

Grab ahold with big dog teeth
Smoke that dog like nice fine spleef
He's just playing, he loves small dogs!
Lady never seen, smashed mummified frogs


In the dark last night, we go for our walk
At the top of the driveway, my dogs start to talk
To the pittbull in the shadows, in front of us
Backwards we creep, except they make a fuss

Bark and scream and carry on
Big black pittbull, they want him gone
Plus they think we're taking a stroll
But that dog not budging, like a bridge guarding troll

Later on, we try again to get out
Black dog is gone, my dogs don't have to shout
Down the block we see a lady
Doesn't look at all shady

Good thing we had a chance to meet
She's lost her dog somewhere on my street
I say, oh yeah, he was just there
But now has vanished into thin air

A moment later who shall appear
But fatty pittbull, not looking so dear
Buster she calls, happy to find
He's coming at my dogs, one thing in mind

Hackles up, head is low
I could take all of them, is what he show
Lady says, oh he is nice
Yeah, I think, like a cat on mice

Grabs his collar, tells me thanks
Off they shuffle to the outer banks
Onward we go, to the sea in the dark
Compared to all this, who cares about shark


Anonymous said...

Edward Lear, move over.

vici whisner said...

When is the book coming out. I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

To stop these charging, demom curr
Without harming them for sure.
Find Citronella spray somewhere,
It fends them off without harming a hair
Check this site for it might help
To keep them safe, your little whelps


Paul Anderson

team small dog said...

OK Like Wow! Poetry Advice!

Anonymous said...

Citronella spray?
What the hey!
Way cheaper and get it today:
Vinegar in a small spray

team small dog said...

People seem to want to see
Someone who meets mean dogs to be
The lady who carries something to spray
To get those bad dogs to go away

I'm pretty sure I can be kinda mean
And I know how to spray dogs with listerine
Will I carry it with me on a walk?
Man, at this thought is where I balk

I can just hear the neighbors say
That's the lady we see every day
Walking around with those dogs in tow
And carries her squirter wherever she goes

Anonymous said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with it

If it keeps the little ones from getting bit