Dirt Nite started again. Oh my god. Just shoot me now. Night starts off with my giant, "mixed level" class which means I have beginner dogs, not beginner dogs, mean dogs, hyper dogs, dogs that do contacts, dogs that don't, dogs with weave poles, some dogs without, experienced handlers, brand new handlers, teenage handlers, mobility challenged handlers. I can see your faces now. All the dog agility instructors are like, "Yeah, that kind of class." I love my agility students. Hi Students! But this group, gonna keep me hopping and creative.
Then I try to do agility office hours, so people can get extra help. Then it's time to dig out dogs. Find 'em in crates. 4 dogs, and my poor sluggy legs haven't run this much in weeks. Run, run, run, run. By 8:30pm, I've gone off course like 3 times, slammed dogs through bars, screwed up discriminations, uh, anything else? Gustavo has barking freakout meltdowns any time a speedy black and white dog is running. Guess how many speedy black and white dogs at dog agility class? And if I try to get him to shut up, then Hobbes is barking. Stereo irritation! By 9:00, when someone else tries to throw treats at them to shut my barkers up, Ruby the GOOD DOG almost takes off someone's hand trying to get a treat. Yeah, blood spurting. OH MY GOD. And there's still barking. And Gustavo now has weave poles but has lost serpentine arm reading skills and not sure what else. Instead of cocktails on the veranda to end the night with, drag the whole course back through the dirt and into the trailer. Does ANYONE'S agility ever end with cocktails on the veranda? Does anyone even have a veranda?
Basically, unbridled mayhem of fiasco all night. This is what I go flying out of work a the crack of 5pm and drive fast to get there to drag stuff around and do this and dinner on dirt night equals banana? For the crowning ending, someone brings the dirt from the night into my house and it somehow puddle water activates dirt nite paws and all of a sudden everywhere, tiny black paw prints because the guilty party is running and running and running through the house with a squeaky santa in tow to make up for all those screwed up serpentines and did I ask you to just shoot me yet?
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
5 comments:
I'm sorry you had a bad dirt night. I was in a parallel dirt night universe, and had a totally wonderful night. Hmmm. Let me see. Could it possibly be that I have one dog and come for one (too) short hour, and you have three dogs, and run four dogs and teach a mixed menu class for one of the three and a half hours that you are there, plus put away equipment? We do need to get you a veranda and some gin and tonics. Hey! there *is* sort of a veranda balcony sort of place (just have to watch out for owl poop on your head). Maybe hot toddy's for Laura next week on the balcony. Anyone have a flask?
P.S. Get off the sluggy legs thing. Some day we are going to secretly video your signature front-cross airborne twirl.
It wasn't all bad. It was pretty fun. Except the mud parade through the house when I got home. That was all bad. Although cracked me up to see the completely insane track lines.
I love my new students and I love the challenge of a class like that. I love running all 4 of those dogs. But, boy o boy I could see the quality of my runs seriously deteriorating as the night wore on. Since we should all be practicing just like we want to run at a trial, bummer man when the brain and the legs go at exactly the same time! I gotta get back with it!
Oh Laura, if only you lived closer to me! You could practice at my house and *all* your agility nights could end with cocktails on the veranda. Well, I call it a "deck", but still....
Hey, you're not coming to my fun match on Sunday?
You do have perfect dog agility cocktail veranda with forest view!
Sadly, on Sunday, one day horse show trumps dog fun. Pesky old work sure gets in the way. I will be at the party hopefully before dark to run around with dogs a little before partyish stuff starts!
Sounds like chaotic fun! ;o)
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