Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
03 January 2009
Small Stuff From a Small Dog House.
Did you know one of my hobbies is interior designing? Is a direction I am thinking we talk about more of this year here on Team Small Dog. If by talking about interior designing you do not mean you are my husband muttering about hiding some of my deers. Or antlers. Or whining about, "Why do we now have owls up there?" and "When is the last time you DUSTED." Interior designing, really a very little discussed topic here on Team Small Dog and one I think we could delve into much deeper. Like wouldn't you want to see home tours of your favorite dog agility favorite people and their taxidermy?
So today, a quick tour around stuff from on top of my tv cabinet. It's where I keep most of my antlers.
They are all just so very, necessary.
You can never have too many deers around the house. These ones are sleeping.
My new idea is start collecting black ones. Debbie gave me this one. Eachan, are you watching? Can you tell her you saw it on the internet so she knows how much I like it? Sorry tan one with some chewing on your head. You may have to move to the back of the display.
My owl is black. I think he is so beautiful!
This dog is black and is very, very heavy. Now that you know about my Facebook and you can probably find out where I live, this is what I would smash you with if you were a stalker and tried to get into my house to steal my underpants. Just so you know. It is the heaviest thing I know of in the house.
This is where I keep my pinecones. I know, you all probably have a better place to keep yours. Or you are Monique and have a fawn in a case or I don't even know you and you have a standing grizzly bear in your living room and I hate you both. Interior designing, very, very competitve. Totally way more competitive than dog agility, if you were thinking about those cutthroat Steeplechase percentage cut off lines. Scoring of cool interior items and wall plastering and wallpaper? Don't even get me started. Sort of like how I end up in Steeplechase. Not neccesarily the winner. But, like everything else, something keeps me stumbling blindly along on my own little path and that path is paved in pinecones and that something is how could we install a life sized plastic feedstore horse on the roof?
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10 comments:
Laura, you can lie on Facebook. Like, for example, you don't have to say your correct address, or even your address at all. I lied about Dee's age when I set up her Facebook for her. Sue R. made irritating comments about Happy Birthday Dee 1/1/1987, sure. Dee is very young-looking, you know.
Just out of curiosity, I would like to know whether you like real deer? I really hate all the deer up at UCSC. They look like big rodents to me. But that's mostly because I'm mad that I can't bring my dog to work. Because 30 years ago a dog killed the UCSC police's goat. I like goats a lot (unlike deer), but, come on. 30 years? Anyway, what is your position on live deer?
How can you love dogs and hate deer?? They are just gentle animals trying to do their thing as best they can. Not their fault the predators have gone away and made so many of them. And you hate rodents, too?? So much nature to hate, so little time...
Me, I'm a fan of deer (except when they try to commit suicide by crossing the highway!) but can't stand goats.
Dear Anonymous, I'm even worse than you think. I don't even love all dogs. I find all dogs interesting, but I do not find deer interesting. But I only hate deer in the context of UCSC where they are allowed to run off-leash, and my dog is not allowed to run off-leash. I do find some rodents interesting. We once had a rat named Shredni Vashtar who was very interesting. Then we had a lot of interesting reptiles who required the breeding of mice for slaughter. This may have hardened me to rodents. I'm pretty sure my first rabbit, Fuzzy, saved my little 5-year-old soul when my mother was in the hospital dying on Christmas (she didn't die, but still). I really hated a rabbit I had who ate all her babies because the dogs ran under her hutch and scared her. Until I became a mother, and I could see the logic of shoving your babies back inside you to keep them safe (how else are you going to do that but eat them--pretty gross to think of anything else). The truth is that I only love my dogs (2), and I am very fond of The Team. I must have a very puny little heart. Oh, and I like Hobbes, too, even though he bit me (because he was hungry).
Fergit the deer and the owls and the rodents. Even the pine cones. It's all about dragons. Everywhere. Photo example.
Laura, your house looks like our house, only more intense. We don't do antlers and black deer, but everybody has to collect something. Your husband must just get with the program.
Mary, I drop my wife off up on campus for work five days a week, and these days I almost always have to brake for a deer -- or three -- on the road. They're almost as bad pedestrians as the students. In fact, we like to talk about the "two-legged deer" vs. the "four-legged deer" on campus.
And those things are BIG. A guy in my wife's office broke his hip when a deer sprang out of the brush at the side of the road and knocked him off his bicycle.
Today, some otherwise no doubt perfectly nice people gave me the evil eye because I let Ariel off leash for one minute to run through the little stream next to the popular birders path that ends at West Cliff. Because she likes to splash in water. Because it gets some of the grungy sand off from Its Beach.
If I were an enterprising person like Laura, I would create a sticker, or perhaps a tasteful card, to hand out to such people explaining that I'm worried about disappearing birds, too, but if so, logic would suggest that a little well-behaved dog-off-leashing activity would perhaps keep the FERAL CAT activity down, which is the activity that ACTUALLY affects bird populations.
So, that's why the UCSC no-dog policy logic really gets my goat.
http://www2.ucsc.edu/police/samantha.html
Growing up where I did, a quick jaunt to Disneyland, I always have this initial Bambi moment when I see a genuine real deer all gently a quiver, tiny lips smacking up grass, then quick nose up, big doe eye right on you and a sniff, and then BLAMMO, spidery, jointy long legs are flying across the meadow in seconds. Shock and awe. And I think what a total shaftage of bummerdom we have setup for them and their brethren, digging giant holes and filling with cement and beams and walls and parking lots. Right in the middle of their kraft services table. Something about their construction, physiological and cultural, that makes me a lot more romantically sympathetic, than say, seeing a muskrat snacking in some weeds.
When they are on the inside of the deer fencing and have done total rampage or are racing around making horses go insane because now can't get out the super expensive deer fencing that they somehow figured out how to get in, I forget about all that for a minute. From my humble abode near the beach, not really a big issue I deal with on a daily basis though. So when I see them, usually is up there in the forest, complete Bambi moment, until my dogs go insane and the chase begins. Sorry, Bambi.
Not that you asked me this, but the chivas totally freak me out. It's the eyes. Ojos locos. They sort of go in my rodent group. But if someone asked me if I wanted a fresh shot rodent or goat for taxidermy, I would still stick with my "only on the way to the dump" taxidermy policy
Facebook-stalker-underpant-bandits scare the crap out of me. Maybe I need need some heavy dog statues? Or antlers? Or taxidermy. Guess fancy deer fencing won't keep them out either?
It appears that interior designing, a popular topic!
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