01 December 2008

Team Small Dog Gift Guide

Start Your shopping engines. The Team Small Dog Gift Guide has arrived, to help everyone who has to buy presents and has NO IDEA what to buy.

I don't really know what I'm doing about holidays either, but I saw some stuff that you might want to buy people on your lists. This is not paid advertising. It's viral advertising, marketing people love unsponsored blogs who do this. You are welcome, retail giants and dwarves alike, who are experiencing poor sales this year and hopefully this little blip in your economy trickles down to me.

So first of all. Since a lot of people really screwed this holiday season, let's make sure you are taking Toys for Tots toys in, and food bank collection donations, and whatever they do in your neighborhood, every time you buy a present. One for you, one for someone having a bad day. At my work, we adopt a whole family for Christmas time. Something to think about.

So, assuming you are still going to drop some dollar on your beloveds this month, here's some ideas that don't suck. And that you can just buy right now without budging your ass out of your chair. (You need to shop local? Santa Cruz friends, make sure to buy things from my friend Dawn next weekend at her sale at the building at Depot Park.) Everyone else? Shop away.

Super coolest Art Basel beach towels by some of my favorite artists. OK. How weird is it that you can buy a giant beach towel by Ed Ruscha, Raymond Pettibone or Karen Kilimnik at Target? Also Julian Schnabel who's art I do enjoy but doesn't go in my favorite stack by those artists? Too bad Team Small Dog has a plethora of towels already with no place to put them. Or we would so purchase. Raymond Pettibone, you guys!!! Ed Ruscha, you guys!!! I think these are good gifts for all yer beloveds.

A ruby and jewel flower ring. It is very expensive. But that is one nice looking ring. I saw this on Garnet Hill-someone bought me a pillowcase or something there a hundred years ago and they are in my email box all the time. Sale! Sale! Sale! They say. I think you could buy this on sale. This would be a helluva special, high end gift.

Reusable spray art stencils for those who are afraid to draw/andor/cut!

Custom drawings. For a limited time only, like next 10 days only until December 10, $25.75 custom drawing. The centavos for shipping and handling. No, you don't get a proof. It's a risk, puppies. You email me your dog photo, paypal me the dough, and your dog gets included in a pen and ink drawing of Team Small Dog. No guarantees that you are gonna like it. Or your beloved you are pawning it off on. It will included text. Written by me. Not you. Total drawing nazi here. Called Artistic License. Order now, while I'm not cranky and my hand doesn't hurt. You can send me an email at laurah at plasticdisaster dot com for more info.

Team Small Dog Shwag Shop. It's cafepress. Some people like logo wear. Me, not in particular. But I never did new screenprinted shirts, so here's some you can order with basic TSD logo. Also on stickers and a mug. And a dog shirt. Not that MY dogs would wear a dogshirt, but it's been brought to my attention I may have readers that, uh, dress their dogs in costumes. Not judging here. Just trying to keep it real. Buy some shwag. Won't kill any of us.

Rescue Dog Agility Calendar. Was brought to my attention the 2 Miss January's happen to be Ruby and Otterpop. In agility splendor. Made by a dog photographer with questionable design sense. Will I be ordering one? You guys. The title is in allcaps italic. I just can't do it. My sensitive design aesthetic prevents bad typography from hanging on my walls. You buy it, and enjoy viewing a bunch of motley mutts like mine doing agility. Bunch of friends of Team Small Dog also featured in this calendar.

Handspun yarn or books about it from Pluckyfluff. This is my friend Lexi and as I understand it, she is like the queen of punk rock handspun yarn for nouveau hippie chix. If one of your beloveds is a knitter, something from Lexi is a fine gift.

The gift of high quality typefaces. Burgues script from Veer is a stunner. Anything from Emigre makes good presents for your designer beloveds. In the wrong hands, this stuff is a stinker. Right hands, we eliminate some of the design problems that our world faces. Yes, we need to fight global warming with bats and clubs and hard combat. But bad design needs to be stomped squarely in the gut as well.

TrueFit DogCoats. This is the one I got Black Beauty. Dexter Black and Red Plaid. If your dogs have to hang out at the barn all day in the cold and raining, they might need these. Unless they are Gustavo. He's too tough. They're like little horse blankets. I like the polar fleece ones for cold getting dogs like Ruby. She is always freezing. These fit good, your dogs will look like little ponies, and they're not ugly or chintzy.

Other people's stuff on Etsy. Like these wallpapered faux taxidermy deerheads. E.Soule's horse photos. Good handmade bags galore. I mean, just about anyone would want something like this.

Slip On Vans from Zappo's shoes. I know. They give me nothing, my friends at Zappo's where I buy my shoes. Pretty much all I wear are navy blue slip on Vans. Sometimes clogs. Paddock boots. My old frye boots. Look at all the colors you can pick from in Vans though, my friends. Surely those are a good good gift for someone if you know what size shoes they wear? Everyone needs slip on Vans. Maybe I switch to plaid some day. I've been feeling a lot of plaid coming on in my life. I think 2009 is Plaid.

The gift of face stuff. Kiehls and Bigelow lemon stuff. It is pricey. Love it. Get the skin stuff for dog agility ladies. Maybe it don't make the wrinkles go away, but I spread this crap on my skin all the time and I am only inside ever long enough to type stuff like this out and my skin looks ok. Also the packaging does not offend my sensitive design sensibilities and that is hard to do. It is hard to be me.

Subscription to Sunset Magazine. You don't get this? You want to die of jealousy of nice houses and food photos? All the writers sound like they are your nicest neighbor? Once has featured 2 paragraphs written by yo? My mom gets me this and your mom would like it you think? We are clearly at the bottom of the barrel of the gift guide. Hope this helped.


Anonymous said...

Excellent gift guide. Especially the towels for surfer son. Except I already decided no gifts this year; instead, December Bayteam Trial in Santa Rosa with Motel 6 included. I vaguely remember you warning us of a progressive agility addiction that happens to some agility ladies ending in homelessness. Perhaps time to re-warn.

team small dog said...

Yeah-warning! Your kids are cool with this no present arrangement?

I did include some very low cost Team Small Dog stickers in the cafepress shwag shop. Well. Sort of low cost. $3.49. Cafepress shop prices sort of a rip off. You can buy a 10 pack for $24.99 and there's all your holiday shopping, done? Because who doesn't need a TSD sticker?

Probably not your kids who would rather have a Raymond Pettibone towel.

Elf said...

What a cool list! And honest, too! I've wanted an agility calendar for ages and then, huh, there's one with my dog in it, too, and it's not that great a photo, and it's very expensive, and it's nothing to write home about. So I still want an agility calendar but maybe I'll make one myself. Thanks for giving me a chance to ramble on again as always.

Anonymous said...

We are 2 Maltese dogs and this is a truly outstanding post and was very fun to read, we would like to have several of the rings, but we are already in trubble for borrowing our Humans' credit cards for a road trip we took last year when we got bored, so we are broke. Also, all the money we raise from our own store goes to rescues, so we're broke that way too. Anyway, Two Paws Up for your team of small dogs, and also horses! Love, Your PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy!