15 August 2008

Hello and welcome to where I am welcoming you in advance.

This photos doesn't have anything to do with anything. But I just liked it. Also in case you need to recognize me from behind. On my bike.

So it seems like some people who know me from reading about the exploits of Team Small Dog are coming to Santa Cruz-ish locales soon. For Bayteam Regionals, or vacations or work trips. Hi! And I just typed that with a new letter "B Capital B" thank you guy with super crazy insane belt of accessories and indoor fishing cap who talks like a robot and I couldn't understand what you said but I think it meant don't drink beer inside your laptop anymore and why so much dog hair in the computer? You guys are serious travelers. Especially the people coming from far off lands like Conneticut for the Regionals! And you are bringing a small dog that will kick my small dogs' collective asses I believe!

So that part I am resigned to, especially since I have a long standing tradition of totally choking in the Steeplechase Finals at Regionals already. And I can try to collect my Super Q's other places. But I am very excited to meet you all. You will witness my Masters Gamblers curse first hand. I am tempted to tell you all come sleep in my tiny spare bedroom with new carpeting and then my husband is like, "Um. Wait. You told some people from the INTERNET to come and sleep in our bedroom with no bed and no door and you didn't build the shelves although you are already plotting to TEAR OUT THE WHOLE BACK WALL BY YOURSELF TO PUT IN A NICE GLASS PASSAGEWAY TO OUR DEAD BACKYARD?"

So yeah. Maybe you can't stay at my house. It is really small. And I don't dust my antler and plastic horse and pine cone collections enough. There are dogs running amuck at all times and they make loud, irritating noises. And by Regionals, god knows if we have a wall anymore because I love love love my crowbar so much and Sunset Magazine. I'll be at Regionals the whole weekend so the day before is the perfect time to start ripping out an exterior house wall! But you guys are going to all come find me right and introduce yourselves, right?

To recognize me, I am the only lady with 3 small black dogs marching around at the trial. Unless there's more of us. Then, sorry other lady with 3 small black dogs. I just sent you stalkers. Don't confuse me with Arlene, who has 2 of them. And hers aren't twins. Ruby and Otterpop sort of are. Until you know them then you know the secret of Otterpop is Unpleasant and Speckly and Ruby is has no tail and is trying to steal your treats. Scientific Formula=Otterpop=popsicle=popsicle stick=tail. Super easy secret of telling them apart. And Gustavo. No one else looks like him. Look for a border collie chihuahua. Untested Breed. He isn't entered. We are still plotting his debutante ball of dog agility and teaching him to be short at the measuring table. And teaching him to sit while his collar comes off and not go into drunk frat guy toga party mode. And weave poles. He mostly walks around and sits on people's laps and plays frisbee and runs away. Maybe you will find him for me if he escapes from his crate! Usually I am doing highly important jobs such as fluffy the chute. Set the bars. Carry the scribe sheets. Well, someone's gotta.

Uh, and I look like your basic dog agility lady. Probably wearing a ballcap. Tattoo all covered up so no sun damage. Sometimes a giant border collie pulling me around too. Unless I have caused him a phobia and don't get to run him anymore. I tend to carry a dirty old orange flying squirrel frisbee around like another pet. Maybe I'll be wearing a skort. Because now I have 2! And i love to say that word. Skort skort skort skort skort. I have chubby knees though. I might be running from the parking lot super fast because I came straight from work and am missing my walk through for the Grand Prix. You would think all that running gets rid of knee fat but maybe unfortunately not.


Lisa B. said...

I am a total copycat because I bought two skorts last weekend, just so I could be like you. Yes! I am your number one fan! It's a shame I can't get out to Santa Cruz to stalk you like all the rest of your fans ;-)

But seriously, skorts are cool, but I've found that the legs of the little shorts part sometimes rides up a little. Then I'm reaching up the skirt part to pull the shorts part legs down so they aren't all bunched up under my buttocks. But it's totally worth it because the skort is very flattering. Except when I'm pulling down the shorts part ... I think that makes me look like a slob.

team small dog said...

The first time I wore my skort it started to fall down when I was doing a front cross at the a-frame and afterwards instead of my good agility friends all going, "Wow super nice run!" they are all "You are trying to not get your contacts called by being all hoochie with your skort!" which hadn't occurred to me but now in hindsight...