In this episode, we'll do our best to fix a broken cat.

This is my cat. Her name is Princess. Maybe you think I named her. Maybe you would be wrong.


She's supposed to be an employee of a pet. Keeping the gopher population down. Not sure if she is a star employee or not, but she's a good cat. Lives outside on a dog crate. Got her from the feral cat population out at the dump when she was a kitten. Can't really remember how old she is. We usually just call her kitty and stick some food in a bowl for her every day. Your cat probably has a nicer life. I figure, it could be worse.


This is kind of her lot in life at my house. Get stared at a lot.


She holds her own all right. Unless she gets ganged up on. One on one, she can handle any of Team Small Dog just fine.


Sometimes fights. There's a lot of cats in the neighborhood. Pistachio from next door is of the Siamese variety and especially pesky. You know how cats like to hold their territory. So this latest round of puncture wounds, I think I'll blame on Pistachio. Gary brought home Kevlar gloves from work, which also happens to be the dump, so we could do some cat doctor magic on her. You know me. Junior vet with just enough knowledge to be dangerous to everyone involved. Repeat after me. Small animals ain't no horses. I brought home clippers too so we could see just what we were working with. Because you know cat fights and abscesses.


Wanted to clean them up and stick some stuff on them. I am too seeking prompt medical attention. Seeking it out in my own backyard. Not always easy to work on cats though.


Also would help if actually read the label of the stuff I selected out of the medicine cabinet. It's a tube from the drugstore. How many of those in there? Also because I kind of need glasses now but I forget I do and also forget where I put them the last time I remembered I need glasses.


So never seen this tube of stuff before but it lives in my medicine cabinet and just spread that stuff all over the cat bite wounds. Should take care of it, right? Later that night, Gary comes home. See's that tube out on the counter. "Um," he says, "this isn't the stuff you put on the cat, right?"


Uh, because that doesn't say Triple Anitbiotic Cream. It says someone in this house that isn't me may have a fungus somewhere common in the podiatry zone of atheletes and that's what I tried to cure the holes all over my poor cat with. Haven't really seen the cat since.