Gardening tips to make your Easter dirtier.

My 4 dogs have different dysfunctional relationships with each other. Ruby and Otterpop are inseperable, but have also had ugly loca girl fights with teeth and fingernail scratching before. Timmy and Ruby were once a unit, but now Timmy drifts alone in some sort of fog we don't understand. When I got Gustavo, I didn't know who he would pick. I tied him to Otterpop for a while when we were out somewhere and he had no recall because she doesn't leave my site. Ruby is pretty aloof, but Otterpop only likes about 6 dogs and people in the whole universe.


Gustavo picked her. My bad girl dog. The one who is the a unibomber manifesto writing, fast motorcycle driving, too much and crooked lipstick with thick liquid eyeliner wearing, word slurring, screaming Tanya Harding of a dog. The leader of doing things naughty. Who makes the others run for cover, so I am sure to know who was the dog who just dug the hole. One dog doesn't run for cover though, in fact eggs her on. Is unafraid of her tyrannical rule. Steals the massive chunk of wood from right inside her mouth. Shoves her right off the chair that no one else dare share. In fact never got the memo that she is to be feared and revered, and in fact just runs circles around the little beast.

I like to think that the toothless, shirtless old guy that ran out in the street in front of my car yesterday evening, weilding a machete and wearing a greasy old hat on his stringy old hair, was wishing me Happy Easter in his own way. Sort of like Otterpop might.