04 January 2008

I might as well start driving an ark.

Oh my god. We are all freaking out here. Because there is actual water falling from the sky, and air blowing strongly over the land. I rushed all day at work yesterday, to get almost every horse out, because for the next couple a days it sounds like the horses will be walking (this is optimistic, you try keeping big fit show horses happy cooped up in little stalls for more than 12 hrs and see how nice they want to be about walking) up and down the barn aisle. While Ten Inches of rain pour down upon us all. I even gave up precious dog practice time so I could get more horses done before the rain started. Good customer service!

Did I forget about this water plummeting out of sky creating mud and wetness on all surfaces when I decided it was a good idea to have 4 dogs? I forgot to do the math and it was summer. 4 dogs = 16 sopping, muddy paws. One dog didn't get the memo that you go outside, pee or what have you, quickly, and come in. Waiting, in a sit, without moving, until your muddy and wet self is toweled off. Each paw included. Only then, move into the rest of the house. Oh that memo. Welcome to rain, el vato. How long can dogs go without going to the bathroom?

One of my students told me about one of her co-workers, another small animal vet, whose group of perfect border collies were able to march in a parade, doing tricks, not on leashes, then all lay quietly at work without moving until she moves her finger or something. Hate her. I see her at trials. She is a good trainer. This is while my dogs were screaming around the barn aisle, having been evacuted from their dog swamp, bouncing off the walls and just wanting to RUN.

I totally get the people that have the dog treadmills. I think I thought this last time it rained. Then it was sunny. Because all I am saying right now is "NO. Get off THAT! Leave the Cat Alone! Drop That! HEY! That cat is a citizen! Stop It NOW!" You get the idea. Little wet fur things running amuck. Can't they just pretend to be tired somehow? Have not had their long run. Amuck in my tiny house that had a clean floor just the other day. Dog toys. I want the poor cat to learn to come in the house. It's sort of feral. But I hate to see it all wet and I am training it to come in the door and set a spell. Various dogs are obsessed with it. There is either running and chasing and frantic monkey sounds in it's honor, or sitting and staring. The poor cat just wants to sit there. And it has 4 eyes on it all all times, just staring. And then the cat is bleating. And the monkey sounds. And the shrill bark of Otterpop the control freak. Instead of being a good trainer using this as a Training Opportunity, I just pretend I Can't Hear You All and go back to typing.

Like the day they ran straight into the Hershey's shop in Times Square. They all attacked the crew from Project Runway that was there cleaning up after the ransack of the designers and having secret negotiations in the York Peppermint Patty Pillow Conference Room over how mny Reese's Pieces commercials they will run on the Bravo Channel for free. Otterpop attacked the camera man and Ruby went after the PR Team. Gustavo just ran around and screamed and then Tim Gunn came in with Heidi and she had a fire extinguisher and sprayed all the dogs and they ran into Times Square and chased the tourists. I hate it when that happens. So do all the Project Runway designers.

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