19 January 2008

Dreams of momosas and valet parking.


Yeah. I am practicing his weave poles wearing clogs and the layered look but not in a good way. It was that kind of day.

If this is Sunday, then I already left the house. At like 5am. To go to Elkgrove, California, for an exciting CPE trial in a covered horse arena in the middle of cow pastures near a prison. You were still asleep when I went through Stockton. Probably you were still asleep when I went creeping down their long dirt road into the facility, found a parking spot, jumped out of the car, walked a course, woke up a dog, did a run, woke up the other dog, did a run, and then probably kept repeating this all day until it was time to turn around and drive home the 2ish hours. Maybe more coming home because it's the same freeway everyone who goes snowboarding in Tahoe uses and we all like to leave at the same time to drive home. We plan it that way. Are you awake right now on Sunday morning? If you slept in, I bet we ran Standard and Fullhouse already. Do you feel tired for me? I don't even love CPE but I love the covered arena and we just need to go start our dog show season again somewhere so this is it.

Do you think we just leap in the car and go? Sort of. When that alarm goes off at 4:45, I am perfectly trained to leap out of bed and make coffee and grab dogs and brush teeth. I am fast as greased up pigs running from the bacon man. Because I have to drive through San Jose, head out east over Altamont Pass of Windmills Hells Angels Killed someone at a Rolling Stones Concert there during hippies, up 1-5 through Stockton and head east again towards prisons and cows. But we get really packed and set up the night before. What do you need to do to go to a dog show? A low maintenance, one day, not even taking a canopy because I am mean and just keeping my dogs likely in the car most of the time, minimalist dog show?

Pack up: xpen, shady cloth, frisbee, folding chair, folding crate. That'll contain those little monsters all day. Throw 'em in the car. Find the cooler. Clean clothes! Do not forget to wash some clothes you would like to be wearing all day at a dog show. I have very few at the moment I can actually squeeze into due to the previously alluded to Sees Candy fiascos at Christmas time. They are all in the wash right now. It might be hella cold up there in Elkgrove so I'm wearing jeans and many shirts (layered look!) and many jackets. I threw a bunch in the car already. It is important to get the clothes ready and leave them in the bathroom including your socks. Just trust me on that. Some people might have lucky socks or underwear. I don't have any lucky clothes. I just don't want to look like a frumpy old ranch lady is my goal. Did you hear that Tim Gunn?

Find some food. No food in the house. Go to the store. Main item we MUST have-some hot dogs! For the dogs as an award for going fast! Or in Otterpop's case, not having a paranoia barking attack in the ring. A hot dog to look forward to. Like I would look forward to pizza and ho ho cake. Which I do not bring because that's just too complicated. I take some apples and bananas and I'll make a sandwich the night before and some nice drinks and a bag of chips and I have my coffee stuff set out on the counter. There is usually not so good food at dog shows, so it is useful to pack your own healthy lunch is what I like to do.

The coffee thing is really key here. I am not legally allowed to drive if I have not had enough coffee. It even says so on my drivers license. So Elkgrove=2 Large Travel mugs full. This is after consuming one large cup as FAST AS I CAN whilst frantically grabbing items for leaving such as actual dog agility dogs before I am allowed to start the car. Do not start car and drive until ONE FULL CUP of coffee is drank is just a good rule of thumb if it is dark and you need to remember which freeway to take is a good rule of thumb to follow. Just trust me on that. Yes and all that coffee might make you have to go to the bathroom and then you have to deal with that when all you want to do is drive 80mph and listen to the ipod which now works in the CAR! Maybe it is possible to hold it. Is that too much information? You wanted to know about underwear the other day so I am just trying offer Detailed and Useful Information to you here.

Is the glamour of my lifestyle killing you here? Like you cannot STAND the glamour? Maybe you are getting ready to head out to Sunday brunch in West Hollywood with a somewhat washed up pop and country singing star at the place you always see people on tv and how little and teensy they are in real life eating a leaf for brucnh. Well good for you. I will dream of your momosa and you can wish you were me out there with a damn speedy and hot dog awarding clean run.

5 comments:

Mary Schultz said...

It's 6:45 a.m. Are we there yet? No. Probably just about passing Lodi. It's Sunday and I could be sleeping in, but I couldn't, so here I am with nothing to do but laundry and cleaning the unbelievably dirty college dorm of a house I live in. I *could* be passing Lodi, on my way to a Full House instead of a Dirty House!That'll teach me to get my entries in before closing dates.

team small dog said...

Yep probably at 6:45 was Stockton near French Camp Road exit (I like that road name, way better than Walk Circle) because I think I got there about 7:15ish. I realized at 2am that I forgot to check the radiator water in my car (by I forgot, I mean actually I never asked Gary to check it) so he gets super bonus husband points for getting up at 5am and putting the head flashlight and slippers on and filling up the radiator. It was actually very easy. You just pour water in. I just don't do car maintenence. I need to get a new radiator. It made me very tired though because I stayed awake half the night wondering if he would actually get up and do this if I asked or if I should just throw a rod on my engine or if I would know how to do this on only one cup of coffee in the dark.

Elf said...

Oh, but it can be so beautiful and so interesting! Hmmm, can't find the post I was looking for about getting to Elk Grove, but how about this one for the trip to Turlock?

Elf said...

Oh, and here's another one. :-)

team small dog said...

Yeah, I think you are a glass half full person and i am a glass half full yet half full of something somewhat moldy because I wrote this about Turlock.