Last night, as I was putting finishing touches on my annual collector's edition Xmas card, Gary looked at it and said, "I don't think you can say 'Don't Let Christmas Kick Yer Ass' on the cards you give to all the kids at the barn." It was in nice big fat Gothic type too.
I was thoughtful, such a rare thing for me to be. "Really? Is that weird to say on a Christmas card?" I was thinking what great branding and a true holiday sentiment.
Being someone of frequent poor to non editing, sometimes I get confused about my various audiences and where certain elements of my personality need to be somewhat toned down or tuned up or shut up. I think last year's card had an antique engraving of a giant dog attacking a man and said something about the holidays smashing us all, but it was on the back. The kids at the barn don't look at the back right? The front had the leering race horse groom staring down the front of my dress. But no poetry about the dogs killing Santa Claus this time!
So this year, I am trying to be nice, good customer service, a friendly Christmas card for all to enjoy. There can only be one card! One for everyone, so that I am not teaching the children bad language or about kicking asses. Even though that is a major theme of Team Small Dog. Perhaps not a lofty theme for us all to strive for, but that's just what I got. This year I decided in the interest of customer service, it is about being nice. See, I am trying to be a Better person! No mean bones in this chowder holder.
If you do not already get a Christmas card from me, email me your address so I can add you to the list. Maybe you won't be impressed. But you'll be able to say, "What Fantastic Customer Service!" Another true meaning of Christmas.
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
5 comments:
Hmmm...well, this was timely since I worried all day whether I should not have said a bad word on your blog. However, there is a reality check to be had: when you were eight years old, did hard core porn pop up on your computer screen? It is unlikely that you will teach any children anything they haven't already heard. It's no country for old [women], you know.
Dear Customer Service:
May I please have the groom leering down your dress one as well as this year's?
Thank you
Email your regular old postal address so I can send it to you in the mail! I am sure I have last years around somewhere and there may even be some from further back in time...
Yes, it's no country for anyone anymore. A nice country for some dogs maybe.
But did you hear the story on NPR that people are breaking into pet stores in SoCal to steal small dogs? Hmmm, this might mean that not even small dogs are not safe anymore...where's Tommy Lee Jones when you need him??? Tash
Hmm although if the small dogs are being held prisoner in the pet stores, then likely they are puppy milled and we should be thanking these so called criminals for the theft? which I believe Tommy Lee Jones would also do. Although I did not hear the story so I do not know the details.
Perhaps I need to keep my dogs under lock and key when in LA for Xmas? Although pretty sure no one would ever steal Otterpop.
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