What does he do if you hit him over the head with a bed pan?

Do you notice the white paint on his foot and the clean floor? Let's try another round of Jingle Bells.

Monday is my day off. Today isn't my day off. I have nothing funny to tell you today.

I love Mondays. Boy, I could have kept you in stitches yesterday. Instead, I slaved around the house. I actually got to meet one of our roofers. Who is working for our roofer. Who comes over every so often to finish our roof. Which isn't actually finished. But should be waterproof, if it actually did rain, since now that we have a roof, global warming has kicked in and it doesn't rain. We had to share the ladder, he was up on top of the roof, coating it with whatever you coat special weird roofs like ours with, and I was under the roof, painting it. He is from Denmark and really wants to quit roofing to become a pilot in Florida. I still didn't finish painting, and he still didn't finish roofing. Someday.


Proof.

I also found an organization in Santa Cruz/San Jose that you can sign up your dog to be a therapy dog with only 7 pages of paperwork called FurryFriends.org. I will have to wear a t-shirt with that word on it. That is teal. There is only one place they take dogs to in Santa Cruz on Sundays, an old folks home in Capitola. Gustavo has to go and pass a test in Sunnyvale in January to see if he is afraid of wheelchairs or screams if hit with a walker, and if he passes, maybe they will let me go. I guess I won't be visiting any old folks for Christmas time in my holiday outfit, singing Jingle Bells. But this one seems more hopeful. Then you only go on every third Sunday. So I have to hope dog shows don't come up on third Sundays of the month.

I even washed my floor yesterday. I tried to be a good homemaker. It is possible I am somewhat unconventional as a wife. My husand got somewhat ripped off. I pretty much don't cook or clean, I don't have kids, never mow the lawn, and I like to put taxidermy in the house. I have compromised on the taxidermy issue, and we are down to very limited taxidermy inside the house. If it is a deer head and any part of it is rotting, it has to live in the garage. No one can ever say I don't make compromises.

A perfect Monday would involve perfect weave poles from Gustavo (let's give that a few years), low tide and no one rolling in seal carcass, black thin pens that don't run out of ink and always finding the perfect photo, and my computer battery not dying. Also if it happened on my ranch or beach house in Stinson Beach. And I could sing Jingle Bells to an old person holding a dog. And I had pleasant trail horses living in my yard. And sushi. I better stop now.