I think I was kind of mean about CPE the other day. I am feeling guilty. CPE, I didn't mean to be mean to you! In many ways, I love you. Like I love Otterpop's stumpy legs, like I love my raggedy cutoff shorts that are 8 sizes too large. You may be sort of stumpy and cutoff and large but you are still my friend! But I am a mean girl and said mean things about you, my friend CPE. I want to apologize for that. But I think it's one of those apologies that has a BUT in it, which Dr. Phil says are not real apologies but the Fake Ones.
I started CPE for Otterpop. The low level courses have no teeters and are easy and only 6 weaves. I think for beginners, it is fabulous and super fun and a great way to start and get Q's and not get discouraged. I had fun with Ruby there, and she moved quickly up to the top level-she's a level 5. I think that is a Scientology level too? If we keep going, even just sometimes, she will probably have a C-ATCH before her APD (she will never finish her ADCh since I'm keeping her in Performance for keepers now). Take that TomKat Cruise-what level are you?
But there is some bad, bad handling in the CPE. And the weird, random games seem to encourage bad, bad handling. And at the higher levels, you still see some bad, bad handling. There are good handlers too, and good dogs there. Don't get me wrong. But it makes me sad when I see bad handling from non beginners. I expect it from beginners. You have to learn. But then you are supposed to learn and learn to do things well. Not just keep doing your bad handling and getting Q's through magic and moving up?
I am like this with horses too. I am a big fat snotty snob. We take the kids to "A" shows and start them in the short stirrup ring there. I don't go to the B shows. Bottom shelf. Not Buck Owens. Forget schooling shows. Don't mention Fox and Horn to me because I will automatically recoil in horror. Bad riding. Bad horses. I can't watch. It makes me quiver with the willies. We went to a "B" rated show this summer because it was 5 minutes from the barn. Oh so much willies happening there, even though every single one of my kids was champion of their division. But I get the same willies working the ring at the dog show when it's the CPE.
I am like this with everything, being the big fat snotty snob that I am. In the artist days, I wouldn't do open studios due to the silk painters. I wouldn't have the art show at a crummy gallery. It had to be cool. In the graphic designer days, I wouldn't take jobs that were from grandma's trying to open cookie businesses that i knew would fail or from realtors or strange dotcoms. OK, that isn't true. I worked for some strange dotcoms. But I am a bad person for this snobby attitude, I am afraid. It is like providing bad customer service. Isn't the yoga supposed to be helping me with my poor attitude? And be nicer to everyone and have a nice day?
Not that everyone in the USDAA is so super great, the dominion of the dog agility super stars. You see some weird shit there, and then there are things like the freakout at the gate lady and some stomping and griping. But in it's defense, my haughty friend USDAA, I like to learn and I learn there by watching the good handlers. i feel like a neophyte wet behind the ears rascal sometimes still when I make it into Steeplechase Finals. And then I can go practice at CPE so next time I go to USDAA I am better. Am I just a bad friend? Sorry CPE, am I just using you? To get in with USDAA who maybe doesn't even want me anyways? Hello Dr. Phil do you see a mental illness problem here?
Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
1 comment:
Topic Request:
Speaking of Being a Bad Friend, if you ever feel like writing a post about...
Be a Pack Leader But Don't Be Bossy and Fight with Your Dog Because That's Not Being Her Friend and She Doesn't Like It and Then Refuses to Touch the Target
...I would like to read it.
And please advise which I should select (ONE ONLY):
1) Go to one day of USDAA trial in Turlock in November, on basis of Q'd 7/10 classes at recent ASCA trial.
2) Go to two days of Advanced Distance Seminar and Gamblers Seminar with Jim Basic somewhere in Petaluma (someone's backyard?) in November that costs $200 plus maybe Motel 6, and it says "dog should know Left, Go, and Right" and your dog is a little sketchy on Right [geeze, who isn't???).
3) Go to CPE trial over Thanksgiving Weekend, so you can evaluate BAD FRIEND POST firsthand, and also avoid all potential Thanksgiving family fun (which usually involves doses of un-fun and probably gaining back weight you lost), and which will remind you of 30 years ago when you were twenty-five and rode horses in Elk Grove.
4) Just go to ASCA trial in Santa Barbara where the really nice people are (i.e., they think your dog is wonderful), who will probably get you and your dog interested in sheep-chasing on top of Agility, when you are done teaching in December and not stressed out, but maybe involving another Motel 6 or else a really cold tent, and remember that's a really long time not to get to run around a nice grassy course in the daylight, instead of a disgusting dirty arena in the nighttime or Dee's grassy field in the nighttime.
4) Pay off a little of enormous credit card debt.
5) Pay you for this advice.
N.B. Don't forget that sheep chasing probably costs even more than running around on nice grassy courses.
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