21 September 2007

Tim Gunn you are Not Carson!

Tim Gunn has a new show he does the whole makeover thing with the help of a silent but deadly super model named Veronica and a fashion design program called OptiTex. OptiTex makes a 3-d modeling of all the somewhat chubby thighed subjects, and Veronica kind of murmurs in the background and takes the ladies bra shopping.

I was thinking he could be helpful for me in finding a good and useful outfit for the barn (dirty asphalt grindings, dirt, horse slime, blood, hay, sweating), dog agility (sweating, running, dirty paws, grass stains, sticky mud), basic dog walking (sand, treats in pockets, plastic bags), and errands about town (plywood at home depot, new leaf market, 50 lb sacks at feed store).

He said that ladies need 10 basic wardrobe items. Of course I was falling asleep because the show is on at 10 (so I don't even know how any of them looked at the end), but they included a trench coat, black dress pants, a white shirt and a black dress. And not capri pants with pockets.

Tim Gunn! Speak to me! Help me! What am I supposed to wear that can help me with my life? I don't think any of them were in the basic wardrobe items! There are others out there like me-lots of you know who you are! We want to wear things that are cute and flattering and do not have problems with fishnets. But we have lots of dogs and horses and get really, really dirty over and over every day. Hair cuts are a problem! Makeup gets dirt soaked and rolls off with the sweat and when the horse snorts in your face. And running is essential, as are paddock boots. The half chaps must fit over them. Day to night wear means horse during the day, dog agility at night. With errand running in the morning at Home Depot! And dog shows on the weekend! Carson would figure this out easily and I believe it would involve Diesel, but he is only helping the Straight Guys. I had faith in you Tim Gunn! You championed Santino. Here is a true challenge for you to think out of the Box!

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