Sticky hand wipes and dog fur.

Hi. OK, I do not have kids. I have well behaved young people that come to the barn, behave and obey the many rules or else befall my terrible wrath, and then leave. This weekend we have the amazingly cute but unbelievably exhausting dynamic duo plus their unbelievably bearded but amazingly patient parents stay for a couple days. They make me so tired but of course I love having them come, and I am not just saying that because the patient one, not the bearded one, is reading this. They are far harder to train than dogs and horses combined. I am glad the rest of humans are not like me or we would be ending the race all Children of Men like and no one would be having any babies.

We did activities that people with children do. We went to the Aquarium, which was actually super cool but exhausting and filled with tiring children everywhere. Taking the children makes everything so different. Like a 1 hour car ride is this whole other thing when the car is filled with children. I completely understand the large SUV and mini van and tv's in the car now. And the leashes for the children. And the sticky hand wipes. And the naps. Wow.

The dogs enjoy the children immensely. The food! The stickiness! The garbage! The diapers! The balls! Everything about them is extremely fabulous to the dogs, except the petting. They do not want the actual petting to happen, just the food and the balls and the stickiness. I can't remember what else we were doing all that time. Drinking? There is a lot of drinking. Because the children make everyone really need to drink. Now I understand all the alcoholic parents so much better. Somehow there was some working in there too. And watching of Deadwood. Walking of dogs. Slowly. Around the block with a child attached to one of them. Until it was time to sit in the street, and not move, until threatened or motivated or both at the same time.