Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
30 September 2015
How to survive killer bee attacks.
Killer bees are now in the Bay Area. They have mingled with the regular kind, who quietly make your honey and buzz around the dahlias. Who you're not supposed to smash because they are near extinct. They mingled, and now they are here.
If you come upon killer bees, start running.
Run in a zig zag pattern to safety of a brightly lit, sealed room or car.
Know that they will chase you over 328 feet to get you. Regular bees only chase 33 feet.
Do not jump into water. They wait for you to come up for air.
Do not flail or wave your arms. This will agitate them and cause more stings.
Don't smash them. More bees come when they sense their mates smashed.
Killer bees swarm and sting til you die.
If you make it to safety, scrape stingers out sideways with a dull knife blade. Squeezing them out only releases more deadly venom to the sting.
Humans can survive 10 stings per pound of their body weight. The more you weigh, the less chance you have of death.
Enjoy!
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