30 June 2015

Peace, love and understanding, trying to catch a break with Banksy.


She's been on a training break while I've been working out how to dial down the apeshits. Because they are really not a funny joke. There are apeshits, and there are apeshits, and hers are really apeshit. So do not laugh at hers.

I am trying here. Banksy is a challenge, and in many things with me and Banksy, we are not quite figuring out how best to keep moving forward. So we've been on break, doing some hiking and some swimming and some foundational skills of learning how to quiet one's brain at opportune times.

During this break, Banksy was scheduled to have a fancy surgery of the delicate female nature. Called laparoscopic ovariectomy, a tiny camera pokes through 2 tiny holes of your doggy's soft belly, and the ovaries are carefully decimated. The tiny camera and tiny decimator are carefully removed through the tiny holes, and your dog is good as new in a couple days.

Far more humane and invasive than the old skool spay, where a giant incision is incised through muscle and skin and tissue and the entire reproduction kitchen sink and it's caboodle are yanked out, then the whole thing stitched tight shut. A full hysterectomy, also no laughing matter, and who wants that?

We drove up to the highly recommended vet clinic, an hour from my house, in rush hour traffic full of Teslas and miraculously clean and washed BMW and Mercedes mini suv's, through Silicon Valley ground zero, to the fancy doctor office, where the fancy doctor would use his fancy camera to pull out Banksy's ovaries ever so gently, and return her to me by the end of the day, good as new.

Except here's where we finally caught our break. But not in a good way. The fancy tiny camera scope broke mid first ovary. No picture, no bueno. The doctor all of a sudden working without a net in a blindfold. The only way she could get herself out of that pickle was a giant incision, and pull everything out all old skool.

I was sick. Banksy is now sick. Drugged up and addled and with a huge ass stitch job running up her abdomen. Be-coned and be-shirted, she's sleeping away the day in a crate in a corner of my living room, which will be her job for the next 2 weeks. No run. No jump. No play. No nothing. Do not disturb that scar or the innards that lie inside her on top of it. A teensy San Andreas sealed with some crazy glue on top of the sutures.

So far, she's not happy about this arrangement. She would prefer not to have me or the other dogs very near her. Get AWAY, she has expressed. She is carried down the steps to have a potty.

Wish us luck. This is going to be quite an interesting couple of weeks.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

wish you luck...
valpig

Anonymous said...

well, the broken camera used up the bad luck. so it all should be good from here. the knee surgery was hard, but you did heal. she will to. peace and love.

Agility Foot said...

I know it seems like forever, Laura. But it will be over soon. Remember to breathe.

Sobaka said...

I'm horrified. How awful. But hopefully it won't take that long for her to recover. Most of my dogs have come to me pre-fixed courtesy of the shelter. Only with one did I have to experience the process, back in the 1980s, a traditional big incision, but she didn't need a cone or a shirt, and seemed to be feeling fine after about 2 days. Poor Banksy.

Terry A said...

all that trouble to find the vet, all that planning, and shit city. so sorry for you both. working on coming up with crazy intricate and compelling games for her while she's recuperating?

Anonymous said...

Fable had 10 bleeders during her spay and gave bleeding out a good try. She also panicked coming out of sedation and thrashed around so much that she ripped her incision open. They had to restrain her, sedate her, and redo her sutures. So I feel ya on the complicated "routine surgery".

I wish you and Banksy good luck and quick healing and happy Border Collie brain living' the crate lyfe.
-Holly

team small dog said...

Banksy says life in an xpen wearing a cone sucks. But her giant incision looking good so she is going to continue with her sucky life through next week. She seemed pretty punky and slow walking and it's now about 4 days and she is feeling better! Ready to be out of an xpen and do some RUNNING! Uh oh...