Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
24 May 2015
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes. Take a tour of the field with Otterpop.
Otterpop is on a roll. Maybe being a tour guide could be her next thing. Would anyone give Otterpop money to give them tours? Show of hands.
Indeed. What I thought. Regardless, let's go visit our neighborhood field. To recap, The UC will build a chunk of campus to teach students about biology and conserving the sea here. To do so, they are bulldozing and road building and habitat destroying not just loads of animals who I see every day named bunnies, birds, coyotes, lizards but a walking field for regular old people and their dogs. Who have walked around in here for like 30 years, some of us.
Here's where the goddamn gate will go. Otterpop is rolling her eyes. Otterpop finds SO MUCH IRONY here that her eyeballs cannot stop rolling and might one day just keep going and fall out her ears and roll down the hill and into the sea.
Running fence, running Banksy.
Pink stick at site of a turn in the new road. Here's a quote that one of the big cheese asshats of the project told us, us being citizens at large who are all, You asshats, don't throw the dogs out with the UC water. Of course saying way nicer than that with nice letters and meeting and useless petitions and all that crap. He, who is a big cheese asshat, said we have to make adjustments to better align our actions with our goals for the tangible benefits. All the buildings, parking lots, roads, and people who will use them are tangible benefits. Us meaning, us who use the field now by walking around in it, their dogs, the bunnies, coyotes, birds, lizards, gophers, animals we don't even know personally, and probably even the snakes are who have to align our actions with our goals.
Even the big ass stork birds. He probably doesn't see them because they are only there really, really early in the morning when it's raining out. Got that storks? Start aligning. You will get your slice of coastal prairie, wedged between the parking lot and the mobile home park, and that little wedge will be free from dogs.
Caution tape fence thingies. Don't go in here because it's been graded. There is zero nothing here anymore except dirt before the paving begins, so just move on. The dozers got all the animals to move on already. Actually here's who I saw in there. Some ducks were wandering around all dazed and confused in there.
It's cool. I was all, "Hey ducks! Just make adjustments to better align our actions with our goals for the tangible benefits!"
The ducks just kept wandering around.
Righty-o! Otterpop hopes to continue to entertain you with tours of her field as construction continues. If it doesn't cost me. There are child soldier cops out there with permission to grant hefty fines upon d-o-g-s, and the really strong people proofed fences will be going up next week. Feel free to toss her a bone. She currently provides her services for free, but you know. Sometime you might have to make an adjustment to better align your action with my goals for some tangible benefits. Whatever those are.
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