Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?
05 February 2015
Otterpop has some words of wisdom for you. For ye. Olde skool wordz for ye.
Security breaches in this day and age are unavoidable. If you have been breached, and you have, you probably need an Otterpop to do some good old fashioned kicking of thee ass. Buttock regions. Kicking of thee buttock regions to regain thee olde tennis ballz. Hard ballz.
Here is who else who will have thee ass regionals kicked. Anyone who says, and is quoted say-ING, "the sellers had perfect taste, parallel to our own" in reference to buying a gentrified f*&king condo where artists used to live and now is some douchebag that says stuff like that buying a million dollar "Loft". Hells bells. Hold on to yer balls. You know who buys shit like this? For millions dollars? Ha. Ha. Ha.
Drone users. Throw tennis balls at the drones. ALL THE TENNIS BALLS EVEN IF THERE ARE ZERO LEFT FOR OTTERPOP. This is war. Retaliation of the War on the creative class! War of the cultural no class! Otterpop may not have any class but she has a tennis ball. She knows her rights, man. That song about some douchebag being a piano man will bring a tear to her eye except there are no more piano mans. Right? They got kicked out of their damn lofts to make a condo that made a loft. Then their identity got stolen and where are they now? In the navy if they're named Davy? In the YMCA? DO NOT USE HUES TO ENHANCE YOUR HOME! LOVE THIS DEAL? ARE YOU F%$KING KIDDING OTTERPOP?
Otterpop would only sing along with Billy Joel under duress because it plays on the f#@king corporate space radio. Which is a trick. Otterpop isn't listening anymore and she can't see you. She will now get in the dog crate. And good night.
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1 comment:
thanks Otterpop.
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