02 December 2013
Order now, order often, for tis the season of Cybermonday the day after WorkalldaySunday the day after SmallbusinessSaturday the day after Blackfriday from a long time ago Thanksgivakah.
It is that time of year, the time of year when I rub my hands together and drool because I am just like the corporates at Walmart. Where I chain my employees to the sweaty bannister of Occupied Zones and give them giant, leaky pens and make them work all nighters so that I can rip you off when you get yerself a shitty little dog drawing for your beloved ones. I don't let my sad little elves visit the Obamacare website, and their workload gives them carpal tunnels and sore feet. And yes. I made them work on Thanksgiving. While I ate polenta in the South of France. They only got gum.
Because dog drawings are ON SALE! But you need to order before December 6. That should do it. If you can order by then I can get it done. I mean my elves. Who will expire soon after that. Especially by December 6 if you live in Canada because mailing things to Canada, my god, the slowness. Allow at least 2 weeks is what I have found.
Click yerself over here, where you read about the dog drawings.
Click yerself over here to see some examples. That would be ejemplos in espanol.
I would say these make good gifts. For someone that likes their dog. And doesn't care if it's drawn somewhat semi crappy, eh. With words. With black and red pens. On paper. And also because, HELLO, on SALE. Outrageous SAVINGS!
5x7" Drawing of 1 dog: $25
5x7" Drawing of 2 dogs: $30
5x7" Drawing of 3 dogs: $35 (They better be small, going to get squishy.)
Plus shipping and handling to USA and Canada $3
8x10" Drawing of 1 dog: $45
8x10" Drawing of 2 dogs: $50
8x10" Drawing of 3 dogs: $55
(More? Because you have a shitload of dogs that barely fit in your car let alone on a sheet of paper? Please let's discuss via email.)
Plus shipping and handling to USA and Canada $6
How do you order?
You send me an email to this top secret email address:
In this email you go all on about the awesomeness of your dog, go on. Or whoever's dog this is. Because GIFTIES. These are very awesome gifties, is what I hear. I will use some of these words in your drawing, no doubt. You will also email me some photos. The better the photos, the better the drawing. More photos is WAY better than less photos. And crappy, blurry photos are not very helpful as I have absolutely zero powers of telekensis or psychic future telling to help me view your dog in my mind.
I will send you paypal instructions, so you can send me the money. I will use this money to buy things like 24 carat gold wallpaper! Full body plastic surgery! A real unicorn! Also you will send me the EXACT address of the location to send your drawing, not the one where you USED to LIVE! And I will get it to you before XmAs. For real.
Order now! Order often. But PLEASE order before Friday, December 6.
by team small dog at 6:00 AM