14 May 2013

Here's what's wrong with Greg Louganis's tv show Splash: Not enough dog agility.

Pitch for a really good tv show. This is quality tv. Why hasn't someone done this already?

14 dog lovin' B/C-list celebrities sign on for an intensive dog agility training cramming boot camp. Each week, they compete against each other to see who will be voted off the island. The remaining competitor by the end of the season is crowned Super Dog Agility Super Champ! At the start of the season, they just have to get their dogs through an easy sequence with a tunnel and a couple of jumps. By the end of the season, there are Tricky Snookers Challenges and Super Far Away Gambles and Excellent Contacts and Long International Handling Course.

Their mentor during boot camp should probably be Jim Basic. He has excellent ready for tv puns. And Nancy would be there, too. She would get those celebrities' dogs tugging and doing their poles in no time. Although it could be Greg Louganis, since he's done this already. He has really good tv outfits.

Celebrity List for Season One:

Matthew McConaughey-OK. He is A-list but he could totally win this.

Singer/Drug Addict Courtney Love-Excellent flair and drama potential.

Comedian Kathy Griffith-self admitted D-lister with dogs who would provide jokes and whining.

Daughter of Ozzy Osborne Kelly Osborne- Has loads of dogs and tons of tv experience.

The Beverly Hills Real Housewife with an English accent who always carries around a really tiny little pomeranianesque dog. That guy in the tux could be on it too. If he has a dog.

Loud Singer Mariah Carey-Has she moved to the C-list yet? Has a jack russell. He could use the exercise.

Mickey Rourke-Has loads of chihauhuas. Also excellent flair and drama potential.

Giants pitcher Timmy LIncecum with his Frenchie. Smokes pot.

Songstress Paula Abdul and chihuahua. A proven reality tv competition show veteran.

The Martha Stewart and her chow, not sure if she would do it but she should be invited anyways.

Tennis ladies Venus and Serena Williams and their purse dogs, one of them could totally win it.

Olympic skier Picabo Street lives in Portland AND has a cattle dog. May know Greg Louganis.

Little person actor from the Station Agent Peter Dinklage. So awesome.

The competition ring set would be all tacky styled by whoever is in charge of things like this for network tv. Have you seen the Greg Louganis diving show? Custom pagent swim wear made from shiny, clingy, sparkly stuff. There seems to be a very specific aesthetic, who am I to argue with this? I would help them design obstacles. Glittery! A visual train wreck of dog agility insanity like we've never seen before.

I will say it again. This is QUALITY TV. WHY HASN'T SOMEONE DONE THIS ALREADY? What it they really did all live together in a big house on an island? And had to sew their own clothes? And make dinners out of the mystery ingredient in half an hour?

Proven Success! Who will be crowned Super Dog Agility Super Champ?


Unknown said...

Oh dear heavens, TV I would actually WATCH??? YES YES YES!

I have an AWESOME Frenchie in my level one class right now. He'd be a contender!

This would be a super fun show all around.

Karissa said...

Pitch this to Animal Planet! They seem to be jumping on the "reality show" bandwagon -- although they haven't really had a "contest" show since the grooming show several years ago. They are due. They must do this.

Splash's mom said...

I was trying to describe a show just like this to my co-workers. They just laughed. I think once they SAW it though...

Zak George could be the "color commentary" guy. He and Jim Basic could get into an argument about reinforcement criteria. It would be awesome.

liz said...

best. idea. EVER!!!!

Seriously, you need to pitch this to someone, somewhere. Animal Planet could be all over this.

PS. those photos you selected are amazing. Esp the one of the British lady who looks like she's squeezing that poor Pom out of its sweater holes...

shawn said...

This is great! You could make it like the Voice where trainers choose tems and try to train them. Then competitions happen and trainers can poach people form other teams. It would b so fun!!! You're in California where all the magic happens - you can totally make it happen!!

Finally something fun on tv besides Big Bang!

Elf said...

I haven't watched TV in years but I would actually figure out how to turn it on and connect to my satellite service if this were on.